Dear Dad,
People say I am your xerox copy, everytime they see us together and we just look at each other and smile.
Somewhere we both knew it wasn't true or maybe it was.
It was my boards exams I remember, I was dead scared because of all the stories I heard of THE board exam, you weren't there in the city but as soon as my exams got near and I went on a preparation leave you came taking an off from your work just to be there for me when I was struggling to figure out a way to keep myself motivated.
You made sure I ate food, took proper sleep and most importantly do not lose my morale. Everyday when I had my exams you use to drop me and wait there until I finished my paper because you knew I needed some cheering if the paper goes horrible and make sure to lighten my stress with my favourite ice cream. And when I exam results came and I saw my result I was dead scared and anxious although I did score good marks but I was upset that I didn't score upto your expectations but that day you told me no matter what I do and what I score I will always be your little girl and told me to celebrate my small success.
Since I grew up while facing many family issues I moved to another city for studies and since than we lost contact. I became more bend towards mom, because let's face the truth she was there always present when I needed her, but you weren't because you were so occupied with your work.
I hated that part of yours, And decided not to talk to you ever until you called me up. Days passed, years passed, we all moved ahead in life. I got disconnected with the family because I had my "own issues" to handle and prioritised everything which was related to me forgetting that you were also a part of me whom I never gave time to.
Until, when I came back home taking break from my pretentious world and on the suggestion of my therapist to reconnect with my family.
It was a long shot and I was scared, I guess we need to thank mom for making so much of effort to get us on same page. Thank you mom for doing that and sorry for being a pain in the ass as always.
After reviving the lost bond with you I realised how much we have missed on in each others life and that there is no magic in the world which could fix it.
My breaking point was the time when you told me you couldn't handle your work and need to take a break but can't because I was lost in my own world, And ofcourse had zero sense of responsibility, which I am still trying to work on, let me tell you dad, adulting sucks I have no idea how you guys handled it, I am trying and hopefully one day I will proudly say yeah I am an adult, until then I am a student of life.
Everytime we were in a conversation I always had something or the other thing to say in order to counterattack your argument, we both love doing that, I guess it's in our genes. But that day, there was something in your eyes I saw and after that I didn't had anything to say but tears in my eyes, why?
Because you have always been my hero, my strength who no matter what always came to savebthe day directly or indirectly. And that day in that moment I saw you crumbling which shook the foundation of my existence.
After you left the room I just sat there for hours. I couldn't sleep that night.
I was working on my writing project which I didn't tell you about because I thought you wouldn't think of it highly and it will upset me as a result, I told mom how I felt and she told me to tell you my thoughts and about my book. One week later I got the news that my book has finally got published. I couldn't control the joy I had after hearing that news, because after so much of struggle and existential crisis phase I went through this was one of the happiest outcome of it.
The next day I told you about it and handed you a copy of my book, you didn't say anything. I knew you were little bit proud of me though. I told you how I felt about being the eldest child and that I am sorry for not being a perfect kid you thought of me to be. I told you to have faith in me for I am learning to adjust to adulting and requested you to mentor me.
You looked at me with glittering eyes and said am I mad? And reminded me that I may be a little lost but no matter what I will always be your little girl, And asked me when am I treating you on the occasion of my new achievement.
Mom was standing there at the door as usual crying because of happiness as I hugged you and said thankyou for being my hero for always and that it's time that I share his burden of being a hero.
I am still struggling but now when I do I just pick up my phone and dial your no. And do not keep it until I cribbed my heart out and you just listen to it and tell me not to worry as everything will fall in line and making me laught with your crooked jokes.
And you do the same, while in return I give you life mantras and tell you to chill.
I guess mom would be jealous of us now, but she would be happy too, because she can focus on her own work now.
Story