My Thoughts and Message For Everyone Who Needs Someone

I really don't have anybody. Because if I do, then they'll reach out for me, right? They always tell me that they're there for me. But when I need them the most, they're not there. That's why most of the time I think that they're taking me for granted. And when things got worse, that's the time they’ll reach out to you. They always do when you're already at your worst. I just wish I'll meet someone who's like me. Who'll give everything or do everything for me like I do for everyone. But I know I'm fooling myself. I'll never meet someone. I just want to die to end all the pain I'm feeling. I want commit suicide. But people will get mad and disappointed. Especially when I did commit and it wasn't successful, they'll still get mad. But when it is? They'll cry and they'll realize things. They'll realize that they're too late. They're always too late when it comes to me. That's why I always want to be there for someone. If people can't be there for me, then I'll be there for someone. For everyone. I don't care if I'm dealing with my problems or something, when someone is depressed, sad, or needs help, I'll help them right away. I'll push everything I'm dealing with, and make them my priority. I really don't care about myself. I'd rather suffer than see people suffer. I don't want to see anyone in pain. Because I know how it feels. And it sucks. It sucks having no one; it sucks being alone, it sucks having no one to talk to, it sucks having no one to open up to. It sucks having no one to care for you at all. And I don't want everyone to feel that. That's why I'll do my best to make the feel that they're worth it. That they're loved and not alone. That someone loves them, that someone is listening. That someone is there for them. And I'd be happy to be that someone that they need. Because they deserve all the love in this world. I don't love myself, and that's okay with me. Because I give all the love I have for everyone. I'll give and I'll give until they feel something. Even if I don't feel anything anymore, I'll still give. You see, it’s not true that you can’t love others if you don't even love yourself. You can. You can love others even If you don't love yourself. It means that you give all the love to people, that you have nothing left for you. I'll always do my best to understand people and give them advices. I want to help them, even if they don't ask for help. I'll still help. I love helping people. I don't want to be a burden to anyone anymore. I've lost so much people. They left me, because I'm a burden to them. But they will never be a burden to me. Even if I want to die so bad, I can't. I can't leave my family behind. My friends. Whenever I want to kill myself, I think of them. What will happen if I'm gone? I imagined this many times. I imagined my mom crying every night, while my dad is holding her in his arms, crying softly. My sisters crying everyday, missing my presence. My brother, who cries quietly in his room. My friends missing me so much. That's why I can never do it. That's why think about your family before you want to commit suicide. Also I hate being so open to people. I need to stop and pretend that I'm okay. That I'm happy. But I hate pretending. I hate lying. I want to be true to myself and everyone. I need to be strong for them. I want to tell everyone that everything's gonna be okay, eventually. For most people, it’s hard to think that. Because they ran out of faith and hope. Because they're somewhere dark. A very dark place that it’s impossible for a light to come in. But if they could just hold on? It’s possible. They just need someone. And I can be that someone. Whoever reads this, think about everything that I've said. I'm here. And I know you're strong. You can get through in everything. I know you can. Because I believe in every single one of you. I really do. For some, they have trust issues and it’s hard for them to open up. But you can trust me. And I'm very patient. I can wait for you to warm up. I'll wait for you to open up. Just know, that I'm here. And I love you so much. I genuinely do. You matter. You're beautiful and amazing. I want everyone to know that. Everything's gonna be okay, I promise. Let's help and be there for one another.