Notes #1

There is this girl, whom I love a little bit more than yesterday.

A girl that at times peaks through all my healed words, which once depicted the void, the emptiness of Living.

She, is made of imperfections, yet combined so beautifully that is the perfect symphony for my heart's melody.

A billion broken stars and a million shatter dreams, thousands of scars and hundreds of empty promises and a single heart dancing to the tunes of butterflies in her stomach, that's exactly what she is made of.

The other day we held hands and her head rested on my shoulder. Her eyes gazed the stars while I found my favourite constellation reflecting in her eyes.

Little by little, I went on falling, a bit harder than yesterday.

On a bitter winter night, under the cosy warm blanket, the first time we made love, she kissed all my scars and slowly my insecurities melted away. We made love, we made memories. We held hands and I played with her hairs, she smelt like a freshy baked fruit cake, the one which my mother always baked, reminding me of my roots, reminding me where I came from, reminding me of my home.

She came in like an oasis and everything felt so in place, every jigsaw puzzle being solved at last.

The other night I heard her crying yet I couldn't do anything to comfort her, I was afraid of acknowledging her wounded heart, a wound caused by me. I was afraid my oasis would turn into a mirage, so afraid to lose my everything at once.

I'm not perfect for her because the only thing I did was I held her hands when her eyes glisten with tears. I just made her rest on my shoulder cause I didn't know how to handle fragile things. I'm often clumsy, breaking the vulnerable relations I had, I'm imperfect, I'm learning how to love, I'm learning to be better but with every mistake I do, I'm back to the naive soul who loves yet cannot love in the right way.

PS: So long people. It's been quite a while since I actually wrote something. This particular piece is nothing, just my mind wanting to write something. I missed writing, I know I was okaish but now I have totally lost what I had in me T-T
I hope to bounce back someday, this year has been so tough to everyone. So it's December and it's almost over and for the people reading this, keep hanging you'll do great, I trust you, we all are made to make miracles come true.
Also I'm not expecting people to read this, I mean I was dead in this platform from months and I'll be quite surprised if this gets even 10 launches.
The thing which you read isn't good ik but I really wanted to publish something so please bear with me.
Y'all so great, I'm thankful to have you all.
The comment section is open to everyone, you can rant about something, talk, or even type gibberish, I would love to interact with you (Expecting 0 comments XD)
Lastly I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone, I'm not perfect but I'm learning to be better :)

You are so great to be with me after all this time. Thanks for reading and sticking. Have a great life ahead :)

Cover credit: @theribbongirl_
Search on Instagram she's an awesome graphic designer who's still learning.