I don't get it-
how you manage to avoid me.
An elusive being as swift as
barracudas in the dark waters.
And I always taught
I was the silent and stoic.
These times you brought me out
of my hidden sanctuary,
there in the corners
of the most remote forests
of loud people
in the rooms and staircases
where you found me.
Or should I say
I found you
and kept searching until now.
Quiet you called yourself.
Reserved was my own label.
But now I stir even my other
friends at peace
like a madman with a pure intention
to be shown warmth, to be given it
as you received the full intensity
of my blaze
until you fled the same time
my candle was exhausted.
Each heartbreak made us stronger
But each relationship was different.
You were different
and I was too.
In this world where people come and go
like fluttering likes on a facebook post,
a tweet uttering a few words
that had no relation to what this is
that we have now
or what I have for you.
You told me you were against this,
not against me.
I told you I was with you,
and now not with you.
So who am I now?
With you, a person who dropped
into my life like a nuclear bomb
and rearranged my preferences.
I even forgot that I clinged to someone
so that I could focus on something
real
like what we had a few days ago.
A life that started and ended a few days ago.
I kept saying you have the power
to rekindle flames from the ashes
I left in my position:
Covering my skin,
mixed with tears,
while I pretend to stand proud
like the phoenix I should be.
And I was a just a flailing bird
falling from the nest.
I crossed the boundary of what people call
comfort zones
in order to sustain a
kinship that this era will likely destroy
due to the allure of social media,
the distance of our whereabouts,
and the presence of people
that loved you years before
I got the chance to do so.
I don't want you to give yourself to me.
All I need is a sign.
A clear yes or no.
A clear black or white.
A clear line that will enclose us
or separate us.
And I will respect it
because I have always been generous,
haven't I?