I'm not good at writing
Not even good at reading,
I'll better play video games rather than that.
But I'm writing this now.
This time I am writing everything.
Not literally everything,
Because it could take a months
For how so hard to explain these.
But I'll try my best
To let this out
To let these sadness out
Even a seconds, even this time, even only this night.
I am tired.
Not physically
But mentally
Drained and empty.
I felt like I don't deserve what I want
And I felt it
How sad to be with something you wanted
but didn't wanted you back
I want a happy life
Happier than I could imagine
Imagine a smile of the day
And an over thinking moment each night you lay.
That's what I feel
That was hurt
I'm actin like this, or like that.
But that was me.
Me
The person who try the best to be there
Person who give efforts
Person who feel worthless.
I'm not literally alone
That in fact I have a lot of friends
I've been alone once
Once in a full 24 hours
In a full 24 hours
There's a 5 to 7 preparation
There's a 8 to 17 of pretending
there's a 18 - 4AM to over think.
Hate when I can't get these on my mind
Unlucky if I can't sleep
Lucky if I fell asleep
worst sometimes If i woke up can't move, even my finger.
I'm not depressed.
I hate using that word
I'm just a man
And real man must fight, even alone.
Alone.
Why does people feel alone?
Even though we were there for them
Are they seeking for someone.
Without knowing we were the one who always there.
There at good
Or at bad.
Maybe they think, they don't deserve love.
And maybe we think we don't deserve It also.
Life isn't just about living
Life is about having a role
About how to live with it
And how to pass it.
Am I gonna pass this?
Who else wanted this?
I believe everything will be easily done
If I'm already gone.