Pretty Little Naive Heart

. . .

There she is again, drowning her mind senselessly with things that’ll never ever be. And oh, they try. They try to tell her to stop her delusions. They try so hard to knock some sense into her naive mind. But you know what? she never listens. She just can’t bring herself to do it. 

She can't just unlove someone who made her feel like her name was worth something whenever they escape those lips. All these wishful thinking is what she’s best known for, and come on, who stops at doing something they’re ridiculously good at? It's like telling someone to stop running when there are monsters chasing after them.

She wants to scream everything she feels so that they won't cloud her her heart anymore. But all these shouting only leads to an endless void, sending back echoes of the name she learned to love.

She doesn’t realize how she’s subconsciously hurting herself with all these wild thoughts that even wonderland itself can’t bring about. Because you simply can’t make someone fall in love with you the way you want them to no matter how much pleading whispers slip out of your mouth.

She tried to be nonchalant about everything. But you can't deny that when someone looks at you like you resemble a perfect scenery in the morning, you just... you just fall in love. But then again maybe, everything is just in her head. Something that plays out like a broken record with a fractured memory that never really happened. It's a mind game really. Her eyes saw what she wanted to see; not the one that is really there. And maybe she liked the mind games because there, the one she cared for actually loves her.

But sometimes it's a dance. The one she loves leads and all she could do was follow. And sometimes it's all just confusing. Sometimes she just wants to disappear until she figures out how to deal with it. But what if she doesn't find a way? What if she's just stuck within a universe where all she clings unto are false hopes and imaginations?

She got really good at this game of the unrequited. She actually mastered it all; the shattering pain, the gut wrenching heartbreak, and the incessant tears that fall out of her pretty eyes. she's used to it...even if she doesn't have to be because she deserves the world and there's so much more out there; adventures, roads that'll lead her back to herself and even love that may show itself upon an unexpected stranger. She needs to know that life is more than just heartbreaks and guys and trying to live the allure of a perfect girl who has it all. Truth is, she doesn't need to have it all. Maybe things aren't there for a perfectly good reason and let's hope that maybe someday she'll learn that. God knows she's better than what she is now.

an: i'm back :) anyone noticed the messaging feature? lmao anywayssssss...

this is just another random musing of mine. man, unrequited love sucks, i hope you don't fall into that kind of blackhole. but anyways, thank you for reading and i hope i've connected with you through my words. it makes me happy that i'm actually reaching out to you all. 

all the love

-clarke