Rainbow of My Life
Let my journey be bold
Let my actions shall behold
Darkness would shift to other side
As enlightenment would be my pride
These few lines have filled my life with colors of encouragement and equanimity. I was absorbed in my world, having supper with my thoughts .Suddenly mom came in the room. I was pulled back to reality and mom asked me to go to the supermarket and to buy groceries .Without complaining, I put up my woolens. It was freezing cold. It seemed as if the year was going to experience the coldest winter of all times.
The cold wind flew at a fast pace giving me a cold shudder that ran down my spine, the roads were vacant .The town was in the ennui of the winters .A voice called me. I was startled at once. I looked back. The face was not visible as the figure was coming from the other end where there no street lights.The voice that was saying my name seemed quite familiar. But before I could make out any guesses , the person was standing before me . It was Karthik , my classmate. It was unusual of him to call me . Moreover, when he showed up I was thinking when we had our last conversation . I was surprised to learn that we never bothered each other .
Karthik had a fair complexion and was known as the cool dude of our class. He had broad eyebrows and his ears were bigger than usual . There was a mole on his right cheek under the nose that added to his looks. And of course your eyes are going to fell for it in the very first time. “Hi, Avantika! How are you?”Said Kartik. “Fine, you tell.” I replied being accustomed of giving laconic answers. “i am okay .” Karthik replied.
Now what is the meaning of okay? I thought in my mind. Should I ask him “is everything all –right “ or shut up my mouth .oh! God, it is damn confusing. Either people say “fine” or “No”. What a diplomatic answer given!! I am a bad communicator .This was what I hated most about myself.
“So what is going on in the school??”Karthik asked. “Were you absent today?”I asked. ”Avantika, I haven’t attended the school from the past two weeks. ”he said with a surprise .oh!!Really, my goodness. I didn’t know this.
“How stupid I am!”I feigned as if the very fact had slipped from my mind. “Is everything okay?”I asked “no, not everything “came the reply. Now the conversation succeeded in its natural form. Suddenly Karthik says “I am leaving Ludhiana. “I was baffled.
“you mean you are leaving school?”I asked.
“Yup”
But what happened ?
My dad is in prison .
Prison ?But how, wwhen ,what actually happened ? I was unable to make out and posed several questions at once .
“From last one year , dad was facing financial constraints in the business . And soon the business drowned .Dad’s business swept all the savings . And the business partner cheated him. He accused my dad for a fraud that he didn’t commit. Aand I I …” kartik stammered . His voice could no longer hold his emotion .His sobs were noticeable . We were standing beside the busy road . The life of metropolitan city was on its peak . I wanted to talk . I wanted to help him ,but here in the middle of the road was not possible. “Karthik , lets go to park “ I said .we started walking towards the end of the road .
After the right lane , a nondescript park came .the entrance gate was made up of iron . It was in a dilapidated and opened with a scratching noise . A concrete cement was on its boundaries .it was a usual one. But its maintenance had to be adored . the bushes were in an apple pie order . there were two swings . I sat on the one and Karthik on the other. The darkness was kept at bay by several lamps . There were roses but were few in number. The dusk was on its way.
Kartik said ,” my life has taken a convoluted route since December 7. It is like a horrible nightmare . I wish I could start again .Avantika , I want my former life back . I don’t know . Just do something”. I got the idea how grim the situation was . Karthik was shattered .
I took a long breath. Karthik , I want to help you. But you need to explain me everything .”I said. Karthik murmured that was hardly audible .December7, I came to home after attending my tuitions . but there was nobody at home . I called mum. She was crying. I could not make out what was going on . my little sister came running from behind. She was weeping .her tears had swelled her eyes. She told me that dad was arrested because Mr.Subramaniyo had filed a case against him.
“Who is Mr.Subramaniyo ? ”I asked .Dad’s business partner came the reply
“Mr.Subramaniyo provided the court some strong evidence that made the judge order dad a sentence of two years. I was shocked. On December 20 , dad left us. But Avantika , I swear , my dad cannot do anything wrong .i am not saying this because he is my dad . but his principles, morals are so high that I fail to agree that he can cheat someone. " I looked at him. It was for the first time that anyone has worn his heart on his sleeves. It was a delicate situation . He said “I don’t think I could make a comeback. ”
The birds were having their last flight . darkness had surrounded .He hastily said,” I need to go to home .Talk to you later” I nodded .i could not resist saying “karthik , email me. I am here . you have any problem , contact me. Everything will be fine.” A smile flashed through his face and he nodded .
****************************************************************************
Time raced . I was too late ,that grocer was so lazy. He took five minutes just to calculate the bill! I groaned as I have never been late. And my watch showed quarter past 8. I was standing before the house . I was scared of the smacking I was about to get . By the way I was no more a five year old kid. I will handle the situation .With a valiant walk I opened the wooden gate of my home. I walked fast. My house had a garden at the left side, teeming with dahlias, roses and the winter blossoms. My mommy is a garden lover. As I passed over the veranda and entered through the door . Shaila, our maid servant was working in the kitchen. I asked her about mum. She replied that she was upstairs . I was relieved or I was thinking too much. I placed the groceries on the shelf and went to my room. i switched on the lights .My room is pink in colour. From last few weeks, it has become an eyesore to me. Every now and then the pink turns either in my night suite or a book brought from the market .Anyway , the room is a large one .it has got a double bed in the center, either of its side attached with a small table that is further attached to the wall. On the front wall photo frames are there.
Tomorrow is Tuesday . the school is going to be a bore. ’school’ the word echoed and filled my mind with the latest development in my life that is of Karthik .should I email him or let him remain by himself. I was in a fix, as this was damn so confusing . I laid upon the bed with a thud and watched the ceiling of my room ,my mind flashed back into the past ,almost three years from now..
18 November 2013
My world stopped at that particular time .it dawned with usual routine ,and I was getting ready for my school. I was in the seventh standard . My friend Ananya didn’t show up at the school that day. We were great friends and had envious school attendance .and would inform before hand if we took a leave. I was so tensed and waited foe the clock to turn 2 o’clock. My heart gave a cold response to everything as my mind was preoccupied with Ananya .At last the day got over .and I rushed home . My first job was to ring to Ananya .it went engaged in the first go. I waited for the call to get over and dialed her number .the call went and after a short while somebody picked up the receiver . I hurriedly asked the person about Ananya . ‘Who is talking ?” came the reply. I impatiently said that I was Avantika , Ananya ‘s friend and wanted to talk to her. I was answered in negative . I asked him why I could not talk to her . and the person on the other hand failed to give me a good reason. And put down the receiver . waited for the next day . and in the school ,Ananya was not there . I came home that day with much more anxiety but my call went unanswered. It went on for two weeks. My mom told me that she might have gone somewhere . I always said that it was wrong .and when my patience could not wait any longer, I at last went to her home with mom. My mom was very reluctant but she understood me . my mom was driving the car. And as we reached her home , there was a white sheet being hung on the gate When mum pulled out the car I opened the gate and hurriedly ran to her house . As I entered her house , men in white clothes were standing ,surrounding something. I with much force tried to move front to see what actually was happening . I could also hear groaning of a lady. And as I thread my way out , I failed to see my eyes. Ananya was on the floor , covered with white sheets and cotton balls were placed at her nostrils. I ran to her and shouted at the people over there’ how will she breathe? ‘ and somebody got my hand and pushed me backward. Ananya ‘s mom was in great despair. I got my hand on my forehand and started saying that this was not real. It was a bad dream. I wanted to scold her, for this was not a joke to laugh at. I stood up and turned to see mom as she was my last resort for truth. Her eyes were in a shock and I ran to her and asked’ mum , what has happened to Ananya ?’ she pulled mme towards in her arms and whispered “Avanti , she is no more.” And with that thing I collapsed on the floor as the reality was too hard for me to accept.
I opened my eyes and found myself in the bed . when I found that I was in the bed , I was on the seventh heaven .as it was a bad dream. I went to the telephone and rang Ananya. My call was picked up by a man. I asked him if I could talk to Ananya. The person replied in negative. I was fed up from all of this. i could not find any wrong thing to talk to your best friend. And I went to mom who was working in the kitchen. She got the phone , talked to that guy , apologized to him and ended the call. I failed to make out any sense of it. I yelled in frustration. My mom left the work and got my hand and slapped me saying “Ananya is dead .” “ so that was not a nightmare?”I asked her. Her expressions changed and she got me in her arms . I was made to lie on the bed . my mom sat beside me and I stared the dark for long till eyes shutted the world outside and went to dream and bid adieu the last time my sole best friend ..
****************************************************************************
“Avantika !!are you listening me?”said my mom and I returned from the retrospect. I nodded and she asked “How you came so late from the market?”
“ I met a classmate on the way” I replied .Mom’s eyebrow raise with a small smile and I quickly said “Karthik” before she could ask anything else . I was an introvert and socialism never interested me. Mom was quite happy after hearing a name from my mouth after these years . I put aside the topic and asked her what she had cooked in the dinner.
I saw the watch on the wall and it stroke nine. And my dad simultaneously walked to my room as I could hear his footsteps approaching. He was a man approaching to forties. He asked me about my day. I said that it was okay. I wanted to tell him about Karthik but he was tired. So I thought to touch that matter while dining. He went upstairs to his room to get fresh. And mom went to lay the table. And soon we three were seated and were dining . And I don’t know why I was feeling odd to start a conversation about the fourth person who was not there , who was just a stranger. And as I started , dad and mom listened with every bit of interest and I was amused. May be because it was a grave situation. Just as I finished off , my dad asked me “how are you going to help him?” I replied” that only I am asking you that how we are going to help him?” “Avanti, be his friend!” “ no way, dad . how my being will help him?” I asked him. And he said “ the more he shares his problems , more good and light he will feel otherwise..” the sentence went incomplete. I asked him “otherwise” and dad left me in doubt “ Else you know what happens when families break , Avanti” I just nodded .
****************************************************************************
Bag pack done. School uniform is all ready. Should I see my email , in case Karthik had sent me one. And there is no harm in checking one’s email . I got to the computer which was in the next room . it was a separate room where I seldom came as I was not at all a tech-savvy girl. My account was made by Ananya only. I switched on the computer. And went to gmail to open my account . Surprisingly I do remember the account name as it was Avanti27@gmail.com . Ananya always used to say that 27 was a very lucky number for me but I never sensed any luck in it. Moreover today was also 27th only and not a great deal had happened. And now came the turn for the password . “What was the password?” I pondered and sank in the voluminous chair that was on my left side. I racked my brain for hardly a minute when “Famous Five” came in my mind. This used to be my favourite series . and Ananya took two hours to get me this password because I am a forgetful girl. And she knew she had to conjure something that would last in my memory for a long time. She had succeeded in that .As I logged in, there were scores of messages . all were from google only when my eyes went to a message sent by Karthik. It read like this
From : Karthik To :Avantika Subject: hi
Avantika, hope you reached safe and sound. Sorry for getting you late.:)
What should I ask him . what about his mom? Well , now I know why he was in a hurry because . He is very thoughtful.
From : Avantika To :Karthik Subject: it is okk..
It is fi9. Anyway , how is your mom?
The next email came quicker than I expected.
From : Karthik To :Avantika Subject: ----
It is quite difficult for her to digest that dad is in prison. Well, how is school going on?
Karthik was touching this topic again . he is missing the school so I thought to give a luke response to it .
From : Avantika To :Karthik Subject: Christmas Celebrations!!
Nothing special , just celebrated Christmas and tomorrow is the last day. After that we are going to have the winter vacation for two weeks
From : Karthik To :Avantika Subject: wish I could be there.
Avantika , don’t you enjoy Christmas ? it is one of my favourite fests. U are so boring..
This guy is saying me boring . He does not even know that I am saying this because he does not get hurt. Foolish guy!! I looked at the watch . it was ten minutes past ten . then I stared the computer screen . it was my walk time .but what about this person. I thought to leave him a message. And ran upstairs typing this.
From : Avantika To :Karthik Subject: ha ha, it was a nice joke. Gotta go .
My parents had already hit the sack .and my dad was listening to songs. My mum was asleep. I tiptoed and whispered “dad, lets go for the walk” He murmured, “can we go tomorrow” I could see how tired my dad was after this all day , he needed rest. So I said “I am going myself” and was about to say good night when my mum protested “Avanti., it is too late for you to go all alone. And it is so cold outside.” “Mom, aren’t you sleeping?.”I asked her.
Dad also said “ your mom is correct. Now go to sleep.” Sleep eluded me and I didn’t want to go to bed and that too much early . My parents knew that I was stubborn in this thing as I love walks. So my mum said “why don’t you go for a terrace walking?” the idea was inviting and I went to the terrace. I climbed a bunch of stairs and there was a small corner which lacked any means of light and gave way to a small door. The door had a lock and wisely I had brought the keys with me. I was trying to figure out the keys when something moved in the dark. I was horrified as this area is locked the most of the times .
Suddenly something moved even faster than I expected and I gathered all my courage to move to the corner to see what was there. And as I got there , it was a ball. I started laughing at my dumbness. Anyways, I finally got the key and tried to opened the door . It was jammed and few days more would have resulted a big trouble to open it. I stepped out and it was dark except the light given by the moon. It was a full moon day. I was awe-struck as the beauty of moonlight had no parallel. A cold breeze flew by that flushed my cheeks with a glow of happiness . Today only I got to know that I had a lovely terrace. I enjoyed the calm of the terrace as it was pretty long in the length and gave me ample space to walk. There was a room on the left side which was used as a store by mom in most of the case . And there were tiny pebbles and tiles that were left after the renovation and there were further stairs to the water tank . it was a great panorama from there as all the trees were looking so great on the winter night . Life was in full bloom in them as they were looking pretty in the vacant streets of the city. I walked to and fro , living to the scene when I passed the stairs. And a thought came to climb them . first I rubbished this idea as I was strictly prohibited to climb these one, years ago as it had small fence. But why not to have some adventure ?? came this thought and I started climbing. The stairs were laid of mere bricks and one had to walk very carefully .
I , somehow managed to reach and there was boundary set dividing the water portion and an elevated platform.” It was quite a thing to do!,” I said to myself. I jumped to the boundary and quickly sat there with my legs crossed . and as I looked up, the moon was shining , laminating the sky with its beautiful light borrowed by the sun. The street lights seemed as small bulbs hanging in the sky as poles were not visible. My smile was glued as this all seemed a dream . I , in my tiredness pulled myself to the floor with a jolt , stretching my legs out and hands in a soothing position. And before me stood a star –studded sky!. It was so shining and I was euphoric . there were countless of stars. With moon to accompany , I was in heavens sailing in the sky. I closed my eyes and stared them till my eyes got tired and lulled to slumber. The next morning was quite a surprise as I found the blue sky instead of mine room ceiling. The change is good . the world was still in sleep when I felt cold . I fail to see how I got to sleep under such a cold sky for hours and now when I am awake, am feeling cold. I descended and retraced my footsteps to my home. It was quite warm there inside , and I tiptoed to my room
. My clock showed 5:30 , giving me enormous happiness that I had one more hour to sleep before to get ready for the school. And I jumped on the bed with my blanket on to savour my one hour sleep.
****************************************************************************
I had my lunch. There was not much thing to do as the school was closed for the winter vacation for about two weeks.
i was getting bored . My book had already finished that I was reading . so the best thing that I find appropriate is to sleep. And getting the time that it was just three in the evening , I went to my room for my siesta.
I opened my eyes and saw some light streaming in to the room. I lazily got up and went to the lobby. Nobody was there . I lied down on the sofa that stood in the middle. I had a comfortable sleep but at the same time felt very boring. Or was it that the very fact of no school brought boredom in the life. It is damn thing that when we are in the routine , we cry for holidays. And when we got the holidays , we miss the school. I thought to go on a stroll as it was the best option to be active. But it was pretty cold, and I give damn to it. I wore my woolens and the shoes and left.
My feet headed me to the last night’s park only . The streets were vacant and the silence that had taken over the city in the early hours of evening irritated me. The houses were arrayed in an apple-pie order. And soon I stopped and took my steps in for the stroll. To my happiness , there were two men who were also on their amble. I always like the yellow light of the lamps. As the trees were moving, light of the lamps felling on the leaves gave a beautiful shadow on the walking area. A cold wind blew with a touch that regaled my senses and I was enchanted. I was feeling as one of the element of the earth when a sudden hoot near my ear freaked everything out me. I yelled . and what I hear next was the sudden uproar of laughter that boils me up. I angrily turned to see the horrible person. And I was not quite surprise that it was Karthik. Moreover, the two men also came running to see me. I was embarrassed , and was apologizing whereas he had gone hoarse with laughing. The two men also started laughing when I narrated the thing. I had become a laughing stock and went to a bench . Karthik followed me, still in fits of laughter and with his contiguous laugh, this was absurd . I cleared my throat and said “ Karthik, what nonsense! I do not like this . Watch out next time.” He ridiculed me again and said “Avantika , did you see your face? it was so funny.”
This was getting too much. I was getting uncomfortable and said “I am leaving “ and stood up . He caught my wrist . I said it was now no more a fun. he made a sorry face and hooked me to the bench. I asked him “ what are you doing here?” he replied “ after so many days , I had sound sleep last night. I analyzed my activities yesterday and my park coming here was unusual. So I came here today also . Rest you know.” And then he asked me “ by the way, I told you my reason for coming, what is your one?” I was also quite finding a reason why I was here. I could have gone anywhere else also! Then I replied “I was feeling bored .” “ ;did that haunting part added some excitement ?” said Karthik .
“ shut up” I said in an irritated way and my face frowned .
“ ok !” said he, in a mollifying tone .
“So , how is at home?” I asked .
“Nothing good..” he replied.
His face suddenly became serious when I touched the topic concerning his family life. And then suddenly a cracked voice began that made me listening to the guy sitting next to me.
“ I was just getting ready for the breakfast when I heard shrieks of someone. I ,first ignored them as I thought I was day dreaming but to my surprise they were of my mum. I ran to her room which was beside mine . she was not in her conscious a. My mum was very delicate and as I asked her what had happened .she gave me an application by the court. I ran my eyes through them and to my devastation the bail of my dad was turned down . There were strict orders that my dad could be out only after he has been proved non-guilty.”
“Oh man, one needs a courage to say all up this” I thought . I looked in him . he was just displaying the façade of being very strong but truly his eyes got me the reality that in hearts of his hearts he was also weak but cannot be as this is the time he has to have be “strong” enough for his family. ” I find hard to tackle the situation . and then suddenly I saw the time on the watch he was wearing , it was almost nine ! and my expression made him learn what was wondering me. So he said , “meet you soon” and he vanished behind the gate , leaving me in deep thoughts .
****************************************************************************
I woke up quite late today. I was an early bird but today my morning began at ten . I breakfasted and then attended my personal hygiene .By twelve, I was at my computer. I had signed in my google account when my mom entered the room and said “ who are you mailing to?”
“ to Karthik “ , I said , engrossed in checking any mails that might have come . “ oh, so he is your new friend!” came a voice that had some excitement. But my reply faded it “ no, mommy. He just needs some help . that’s all.” After hearing my reply , the door was shut behind and I was just there in the room. No reply was there . then I thought of to email him but of what, I brushed aside my thoughts and logged of my account . I went to read my novel in the lazy afternoon , having nothing important to do.
My phone rang suddenly. And a hello was there. “ yes, who is this. “ I said.
“me , Karthik” came the reply. “ yeah”
“Can you meet me now ?” I looked at the watch that showed me eight o’clock of the night.
“but , what is the matter?”
“It is important “
“Come in the park in five minutes . I am waiting there for you.”and the call ended without having my response.
I hurriedly prepared myself to go in the cold when mom scolded “ you can’t go at this hour of evening !”
But I disobeyed saying “ it won’t take me long. I will be back soon”
I was standing on the path , feeling terribly cold when I saw Karthik coming towards me. he had a worried expression. He clutched my hand to the chairs in the right of the path. He said “ Avantika, you and Ananya were great friends ?” I was baffled at the question he posed .and I simply nodded .now I was not concerned about the weather , and he asked me “ Ananya died four years before . Do you know the reason?” I stood up and said “ karthik , let ‘s not talk about it” “ no Avantika, it is important to know because today I went to see dad in the prison of ludhiana where I came across somebody…” then his words fell flat as if in dilemma . “ you came across somebody.” I repeated it , so I could get the answer . “first tell me , how she died ??” his face was so tensed .
“ it was her heart, she had a hole in her heart” I spoke with my eyes closed with enormous strength as it evoke a pain in my heart while speaking it . KArthik’s jaw fell as if he had seen a ghost .
“ Listen , she was murdered !”he agitated.
“WHAT??” I yelled . “do you know what shit you are saying?”
“ calm, Avantika. I know what I am saying, there was an important room in the police station locked and to get some urgent office papers the lawyer went in it. Only a person of great authority can do this and dad has got approach with the commissioner so it was an easy task for us , I also went there but while searching for the important papers I found something .” then he stammered
Karthik , tell me !
“ it was an FIR registered against Mr. Jigdish Jain in 21 November,2013 . it leveled a charge of murder of Miss Ananya Dikshit “
“what , nonsense!” I merely shouted at him . “ Have you got that document” “ no , I was severly scolded for going through any other document but I clicked a photograph of it covertly and it is in my mobile’’ he took out the mobile while saying this and I was just crossing my fingers for the fact that this was all false. But my eyes could not be deceived . I was standing there astounded , and frozen to stillness.
“Avantika ????”
“yeah” I said but mind could not make out anything.” And I said “ what now!”
He said “ of-course we will get the truth.”
But I stubbornly said repressing my emotions because I had had this all and not again “ if you are interested you can go ahead to find truth but I am out of this. Ananya is dead . that is the truth for me and I do not have a good reason to find whether she died of a disease or murdered .”
“ how can you say all this?” but I walked past him , finding nothing worth to answer him and went outside the park, because I regret to have a friend like her. I regret to have a friend in my life.
From past few days , I was avoiding Karthik . I did not want to talk to anybody . I was in my room , doing the trigonometry the eleventh standard posed me before. I wanted to become a chartered accountant and I was determined to do so . But my mind was jumping like hell. I was in no mood to share those wounds that happened three years back.
I was having dinner , when my phone rang with the ringtone of “MY FAVOURITE GIRL” ‘by famous pap star . I picked it . and a voice said “ Any good reasons for not replying my mails??”
“who is this?” I replied and of course it was him.”Karthik , how did you get my number ?”
“ th e thing that matters the most is not from where I got this number but why aren’t you repling?”the way he posed me a question with such an authority surprised me .
“ I am having my dinner , talk to you after ten minutes”
“okay , I am waiting, “ and the call ended saying . involuntarily a smile came upon my face like never before when dad asked sitting opposite to me., who the person was . I replied Karthik , the guy about who I told you about.
I finished my dinner and rang to him . he picked my phone instantly. “ so , what did you call for?”, iasked.
“ tomorrow is 31 st December and there is a new year party at Disco Pop in Laufer Club. Everyone is coming , so you are expected to come. It is a Dutch treat so bring along with you 1000 rupees . This is our last year as you know from next year onwards , the exams will start and we all will go in for different colleges. It is kind a get together and do come and make a memory .” he said this all in one breadth.
“then shall I count you in ?”
“okay, I am not pretty sure that I would come!”
“But why”
I was not a party person . And I was scratching my head to give a good excuse for not coming .
“hmmm , I just can’t come” and ended the call. i sat on my chair leaning my head over it when I thought had I not been rude to him. I could have spoke politely. I thought what if …” now these what if are going to eat my head . I saw the phone once again. I Thought of calling him. But what would he think? Arrogant?Proud?Aggressive
The schools are open and it is so difficult to wake up at dawn. My eyes were swelled up as I was sleep depreived. Nothing makes me glad . I was again a boring day of lectures . I wished I would have taken a holiday. I was seated on the first bench of the row. And as I seated myself , Karthik entered the classroom . Girls on the other benches stood up from their seat and crowded him . the Miss had not yet come. “YA YA the cool dude is here again” I murmered sarcastically. I was leafing the pages of my textbook when someone sat beside me. I turned when I saw him sitting . I was annoyed . I wanted to sit alone . “ there are other seats vacant” I said
“so?”
“so hmm, you can sit there”
“no , I want to sit with you!” he said with a playing smile. “ What the hell , I wamt to sit alone means I want to sit alone? Can’t you get it” my reply that was rude got everybody’s attention
Now in the eyes of his friends , I was pictured myself as a villain .Karthik moved to the the next bench quietly.
All day I felt as if I was being watched by someone by the corner of the eyes. He tried to make a conversation with me but I just nodded or ignored them. Then in the eighth period he was quite as his bubbling face all went down . His friends cracked a joke or two but neither he giggled or made fun. It was business studies when I looked at him. He was sad. Something did”nt seem correct. I was not at all feeling good . But why was that . I left it over . ,the school dispersed and Karthik was low . His friends tried to cheer him up but he told them to leave him alone . They were surprised about Karthik’ s behavior. And his behavior did put me on anxiousness on hold too until he ranged me . I picked his phone instantly as if my inner part wanted to talk to that classmate who became somebody to me in just few days. I want to talk to you ? Can I ?
I replied hmmm.
“ I am not good . “
I was baffled at this thing. “ why are you saying this ?”
“ just tell me yes or no”
The other side seems depressed and I had no option to say no”
“ Karthik , what happened?”
“I just don’t know . I am feeling helpless. I have nightmares of losing my family, my school . “
“ breathe in , breath out. Just do this for a minute.”
“ no , I am not gonna do that silly things.”
“ karthik , do it!”
Then I listen his long breaths . and when he stops , an unusual instinct comes in me and I say “ come to my home “
“ why?”
“or else I am coming”
“ your home is just five minutes from mine “ “ Avantika , it is 6:30 in the evening , I am coming to your place.”
“ hmmm , come fast.”
I handed a cup of coffee to Karthik and said lets go upstairs . he ,was in his blackpyjamas , white jacket that seemed a grab just to protect from winter . “ So did you call me for this?” he said with a frowned face . he was in bad conditions . I said “ just do as I say”
“ okay” he said .” follow me “ I said .
I showed him to my terrace . he saw me with a puzzled look thinking what was the work on a terrace in the cold month of January. When I ascented the stairs for the above small space where I slept a few nights before, he questioned me , “ Are we going to jump off from that” “ no “, I said with a smile.
We seated ourselves cross legged on that uplifted place . And told him to enjoy the coffee. He looked with a ridicule to me and having failed to find words , simply took a sip.
“ the coffee is quite tasty”
“I know, I am the world ‘s best coffee maker.”
“ now , what am I here for?”
“ can you see something out there ?” I said pointing towards in the forward direction . “ yeah , a beautiful set of houses and the far away FLY_over, “
The sky grew dark with each passing minute when I said , “ It is okay , karthik . problems do come but we need to face them . I know you are at your best in dealing them but don’t let these problems grab you your happiness , ypur smile .”
“no , Avantika . it is everytime . I am fed up . just frustrated from all the hell . my friends don’t care of me. my family is on the edge . I will go crazy in the next few days and u tell me to be strong in dealing all this shit?
Let ‘s start with the beginning . what has happened to your friends?
“ just do not ask that bloody question . they are not my friends , all are bloody enemies .” his face was boiled with anger .
I patted his back “ cool , dude . maintain your calm ,”
In the break time that silly Manik broke off the news that my dad is in prison . he got this from a newspaper . and next to it , everyone cornered me an eye of suspicion . the reaction that I saw made me feel that there is no point in justifying myself.” I left that place and felt to run away.”
“ now tell me , there must be as good friend who must have stood by you .” I said taking a sip of my coffee.
“ yeah , but “
“tell me who is that one .”
“ you “
So he considered me a friend . i wanted to clear that thing I am no good a friend but thought of doing it later. Then I said , “ so , Karthik lets know each other”
‘by’
“we won’t be taking of this.”
I am going to ask you about you . you answer me . “okay?” it was a long been I have been so talkative . my talks with him grew much after I started my quiz.
“ your favourite sport!”
“ swimming!”
“ mine too!” then he aired for a high five and I missed it clumsily. We laughed .
“ your favourite movie!”
“ I like movies . but donot have anyone in particular .”
“ any actor you like ?”
“ yeah, Tom Cruise , I just love the way he acts .”
Then he posed ,”yours?” . there was glee n his eyes.
“ yours one only !”
“ now , your happiest moment ?”
“ not come yet.”
“ your role model ?”
“dad”
“ yours?”
“ this can”t be . how can we so similar ?”
“ okay , let us play rapid fire ?”
“ what is that?” I asked .
“ I will say one word and you the thought that comes next to your mind you have to say that .”
“ no , you will play that first , then I follow you.”
“ karthik , get ready !”
“ yeah , yeah . lets see how survives in this game ”>
“God” I said
“ atheist” .. “ trust” .. “friendship” “ enjoy”. “ craziness”… “help”.. “society”… “ humble”.. “ nice”… “being human”… “ passion” …. “management”.. “ musician”.. “fame”…. “ money” …“ artist”.
Suddenly the lights went out. The lights of the street lamps and the lightened houses went out. Only the moon light lifted the darkness in the surroundings. “ I didn’t know you wanted to be a musician “
“ avantika , nobody knew it till now . you are the first person to know this .”
“ but I have never seen you singing or playing an instrument?”
“ I never made it public”
“ so you show only those things that you want people to look or see at”
“ kind a”
“so which instrument you love to play?”
“ piano , I have got it in my home . I will show you one day “
“ surely you must!”
I started talking as I came out of the cocoon of my shyness . I talked on every subject under the sun from movies to politics to going places to hobbies to what not. I spoke and he listened . it was after a long while that I spoke to somebody else like that in years except my parents.”
He had a great sense of humour . I went hoarse with laughing . The time flew . . I was feeling cold and rubbed my palms to generate some heat. And by seeing this , he said “ It is late now, moreover the cold is becoming intense. we shall run downstairs.”
He patted his pyjamas in case any dirt came on it .
“ Thanks “
“for what “
“ just making me feel good. It was nice to be with someone like you” he said . we called our goodbyes and I said “ sorry , for being rude in the class.” He winked and went.
Now the next few months were so lively. I startted opening up . We talked for hours on terrace as it became our routine to meet there on Saturday evenings . in the school of-course , when he cracked a joke or two , I laughed without minding. Our friendship grew. We got to know each other . Now , I was with him only in the school, during the break time . we used to go the farthest end of the playground and have our lunch. I was enjoying this milieu of friendship.
Of – course in front of his friends I used to be quite. I was just nodding. They used to complain about this but Karthik would say “ she is very much fine in being this.”
I felt great. Months passed and on April , we were talking when he said , “ there is an extempore coming on.”
And I said ,”yes”
“ so , I have submitted your name for the participation.”
“What?? You are kidding ? this can’t be!”
“Avantika , calm down. It is just a competition”
“ no , Karthik . I have stage fright . You really do not know.”
“ just blot out my name from that competition .”
“see Avantika , I know it is difficult , but you want to be in management. This requires good communicative skills.”
“ It has never happened to me , how will I do this “
“ believe me , I am also participating . we will prepare together.”
“ then what about winning?”
“ leave that thing , we will figure it out later.”
**************************************************************************
Was I going to speak in front of 100 students? My heart gave a fierce beat as the thought flooded in my mind. I was in the mood to kill Karthik, how could he just give my name for an extempore. The break was over and he must be coming in the class only. He entered in the class and the very moment I stood before him. He raised his eyebrow and I just stammered in front of that person. I was driven crazy with the very thought of the competition and voice failed to come out of the voice box. This was the worst of the nightmares I ever had .
“after 3 days there is an extempore. “he said.
“yeah , but I am having butterflies in my school now . I am trembling with the mere thought of it .”
“you can do this. “
“How do you know?” I asked him by gesturing my hand in a question form. Then I said “ you have the knack of speaking but I can’t . I do not want to become a mere joke in the school. Today in the recess , your goody friends were laughing on me when they got that I , I was participating.” His expressions changed when I bubbled everything out.
Then he remarked “ He who laughs last laughs best. Prove every one wrong.”
His eyes inflicted me with some power, that power of his confidence in me.
“I would prepare you. There are 4 topics to prepare . Be ready at 6 in the evening , at your place !”he said
I had nothing to do but except to get my hand on my forehand in despair. This was really not going to happen. I thudded my foot on the floor and Karthik gave a childish grin that irked me to hell.
****************************************************************************
My mom was so happy . she was on the seventh heaven when I told her I was in an extempore. And in that joy I was treated with a palatable lunch to my no delight. Of coure it was difficult to digest this.
“Bless you , son” I heard mom ‘s voice.
Who was she saying it to? I thought and then I saw the clock , it was six.” ohhh, shit . it is Karthik”I jumped into the bed with my blanket on me ,cooking an excuse . Karthik came in the room, “hi!”
“so have you started preparing for anything?”
I replied in negative and mentioned that I was not interested in the competition.
the reply came “i do not know anything !just participate” that’s all I am asking for”
“Kar…Karr..thik I do not feel comfortable in speaking” I stammered a little and turned the other side feeling embarrassed.
“look at me!”Karthik ‘s voice said.
he walked to look at me but I turned around in order to avoid him. It was something that I was not used to. It was like a room in which I was closed for years and now the walls of that room were being destroyed without my will.”
“okay , we won’t be in the extempore . let’s go to terrace !”
“that idea was well-received and we were on the terrace.”
“So what are your hobbies?”
“reading books”
Me too! Avantika , then tell who is your favourite book?”
“the kite runner”
“Nice.. I love reading adventurous novels” , he replied .
This was a subject that intrigued me and I was dishing every part on it like who my favourite author was.
While making me comfort , he got me “ shall we start preparing?” I was left with no choice but to experiment with me and I unwillingly went for it.
****************************************************************************
Karthik came . I didn’t want to go anywhere so I said to prepare for it in the room only. But he was stubborn that we would prepare it on the terrace only. I made him found of terrace walking in just three days. We were on the upper embedded floor near the tank. Karthik was giving me tips regarding some rules that are to be followed in an extempore. I was lost in the sky that was twinking with a few stars with a moonlight to accompany it. The moon was surrounded by clouds and as darkness grew it became prettier to see. The lamps of the locality kept the darkness at arm’s length.
The moon gleamed and enlighted the sky with its sole beauty!
“Karthik, see the sky”
“He lifted his head out of the notes that were in his hands.” A smile flashed through his face.
We both were enjoying the sky when he said “Avantika, our topic is not sky, so prepare!”
It seemed he was acting to be annoyed but his face gave me the expression that he was enjoying every moment there. He got his arm on my shoulder and I brushed it aside.
”what?” he said.
“It irritates me”I said.
“ like I care, huh?” he said and i just punched him in his stomach. Then what, we were behaving like cats and dogs.
“enough of this”, he said. “ prepare.”
And we prepared . I spoke in front of him and forgot also when he explained, “ do not learn the matter. Speak it in your own style. This will eliminate the chances of forgetting.”
“karthik, how you know so much about all this .”
“ I just love doing all this stuff.”
“ what if I won the competition yesterday by the tricks you are telling me .”
“ I will go mad with happiness. “
“ won’t you feel bad about not winning.”
He looked into my eyes and said , “I won’t . you know why , because giving something good to someone is a privilege and mind it winning does not matter as much participation does.”
I was touched . And we prepared . I used to listen from him and would tell him his mistakes and visa versa would happen too.
After we winded up , he told me to have a good sleep for tomorrow.
But the sleep was in an alien land and I was chasing it .Till the twilight my eyes were wide open with nervousness of my coming extempore .
****************************************************************************
I was in the auditorium with twelve more students who were glued in their topics . I regarded last minute revision as absurd . It was tantamount to adding headache. I was waiting for Karthik , I saw him downstairs only! His turn was about to come as he was the first participant . I didn’t get the chance to talk to him in the morning .He just gestured me a thumps-up.
The competition had started already and the rules of the competition were laid out too. My heartbeat grew faster despite I was the eleventh contestant . Karthik ‘s name was announced on the stage . He appeared immediately from the stairs. He was nervous but he composed himself as he walked to the stage .There were around 300 students seated in the hall much than I expected. But the nervous level remained same. My classmates of 2 –A were encouraging him with whoops of excitement, faith .
Karthik adjusts the mike and picks up the chit. From past months experience , I learnt his facial expressions and he was tensed .He returns to his place and starts with his part. He progresses with a quote fueled with zest that connects the audience to him. I was amused like always but I knew my teacher is the best. He makes a statement of humour and there is a roar of laughter. He ends his topic .this was followed by a thunderous applause and he descents the stage. I hoped he would come to my side but he went to the other students and started talking to them. The contestants got in their turns and I examined each one of them , thinking what I can learn from them.
It was the tenth contestant on the stage and my hands grew cold .I rushed to the washroom as I could not hold those feelings all up together. Karthik called me from back but I ignored as I was not in any position to answer anybody .
I entered with a jolt and closed the door behind me, and saw myself in the mirror.
Million questions were there that I posed to myself . I remembered the verse “let my journey be bo..bold , let my” then what . how I could forget it. This was not good.
But I l saw myself in the mirror and the words of that guy echoed in my mind “prove everybody wrong!!” and boldly took my steps back to the auditorium and karthik came from nowhere “ you are late! Go upstairs !it is your turn now”
My name was announced and I was up there ,first time facing the crowd, and here I remembered the verse that always gave me strength
“Let my journey be bold
Let my actions shall behold
Darkness would shift to other side
As enlightenment would be my pride”
I started with a question to engross my audience and then to the content matter. As I was saying my eyes fell on one of the judges ,whose hand was on his head as if in dismay!
“Was I being boring ?” this thought got in my mind and I stopped. I became blank. I saw every body staring me , my legs were shivering . “ what am I doing? Are people really enjoying me or am I a bad speaker?” all questions dented my self-esteem. Then as my eyes reached the corner , there was Karthik standing beside the pillar and imitated to “ speak”. His hands again gave me a thumbs- up and he with much more stress imitated “speak”without his voice being heard to anyone in the whole auditorium but it gave me light , it gave me the support in that obnoxious silence. The voice immediately came from my voice –box in its own charm that I enjoyed speaking because somebody else was also enjoying me. And as I ended I was being applauded , I felt more than good at that time. It was something I had experienced for the first time and it was an awesome feeling to be a face in the crowd . I straight away went to Karthik and I shook hand with him, he smiled. “thank you, Karthik” a freezing voice came within me and he said “ Thank YOU ,Avantika” “for what?”
He just hugged me and I felt that warmth of a friend after a long while , the tryst with that emotion that I feared was there, the fear ruled me again. I drew my steps back and went in to the class.
****************************************************************************
The sky was grey . The winds blew hard . I was walking towards the park , Karthik had called me there . I asked him what the matter was. He just said to come and meet him . I said that the weather was very bad , but his voice was strange and demanded my presence . I was walking with much force as wind disheveled my hair . I ws pushing myself in that direction. It was strange of this weather. It was too treacherous for the month of April. In north india , we don’t expect rains . Any way, I at last reached my destination . Karthik , was standing . I called from behind . he turned and came . “ what is the matter with you?”
“ what?”
“you won the third prize in the competition . but you ran away . what was the reason behind this behavior.” .
“ uhh , nothing . I was just not feeling well . so”, I said pretending getting aware of his annoyness.
“ Avantika , why don’t you let it go?”, he said in a soft tone.
“what to let go?” I said with a laugh. But that was not funny to him. He was really annoyed .and to calm his anger I just reminded what he said to me “ participation is more important that winning.”
“ Just shut up.do not pretend in front of me.”
“ I am leaving . you stay here in this bad weather . when the rain will wash away all your anger , do call me afterwards .”
“ Ananya , you are still in those blues, ?”
I was turning to go but I stopped . “ how did you know?”
The wind rushed over my face . my hair blew . I was shocked for a second then I make up “ you really do not know anything . so keep quiet.”
“ Avantika , in all this you forgot that Ananya was my friend too!”
“ oh !really . then tell me how good she was.”I acted in my superior frustration. Karthik came closer and said, “she told me the truth about her illness before she died unlike you .”
I just headed to the gate . I knew he had gone mad. He caught my wrist and I shouted , “let me go”
“no, I won’t”
“what I have done? Do not make me remember the past”
“just avoiding has not done any good to you either.”
Suddenly the rain started . in no time it started raining in buckets. I pushed his hand and ran towards for the shade . But he blocked my way by coming in front of me and said , “ no , not today, I am not letting you . we will talk here only no matter how much it rain , how sick we get.”
“you are inane.”
We stood there facing each other. “ I know Avantika , these years were not good. Your best friend died an early death. You didn’t even aware of this . but how much more isolation , how much more time ? you can’t give up your life for that sibling friendship!”
“ You want to listen this shit , then listen Mr Karthik. She just left me a small letter that I was handed after she died . She never thought of telling me herself.”
“ so what? What would you have done if you were in her shoes.” The clouds became bad with each passing moment.
I was silent then I said , “ she didn’t think I was capable to say her last bye. I was a nobody to her.”
“ oh , shut up, then why she called me and said to see for you after she is dead .”
“ what the hell are you talking about?”
“ Five days before she died , she rang to me . she told me everything about your friendship. I also said her ,”ananya , it is best for you to tell her the truth”
Her operation was on 18 November , and there were only 20 percent of success. She told me that you would be shattered if all these things reach you. She was just 14 at that time but acted like a mature girl. I was told to shut my mouth and to see for but I failed in doing that”
As he said all this , my head was banging from inside.
“I tried to befriend you , but you always ignored the class ,firstly you were an introvert by nature then the experience of getting lost a friend aggravated this nature. I thought to quite but I wanted to keep the promise I gave to your , my friend . And Avantika , I want to confess one thing ,”
“what ??”
“ I have been lying to you about my family , that dad was in prison .it was a way of getting to you to talk. Moreover , I was present in the class in the month of December. It was your introvert nature that never bothers you for others helped me.”
I was gaped and I punched him on his face , “ how could you lie to me?”
“ Avantika , I know but let it go , she had to go.” I broke down . I could not hold my emotions anymore .Karthik hugged me and I cried and cried . the pain of those three years all came out when someone was holding me tight . The storm that was outside and the one inside me slowed down.
I was on the grass hugging a friend , when the trees and bushes stood s till after all this while . the rain that came washed all the dust . It left a new fragrance of new life. It rejuvenated the trees , bushes . the view became crystal clear. I stood up and saw the sun coming out with its finest strokes of rays to lighten the dark when Karthik said , “Avantika ,rainbow!!”
He pointed towards the back and there was the magic of seven colours after this tempest . I grabbed his hand , and said “ yeah , Karthik . this is the rainbow of my life.”