REASONS TO STAY ALIVE

I gave it a try. And I've read opinions that have given me more hope than littlest of what I have. And I am thankful for those that have given me their opinion and a little of their experience, as well. Maria Kurenai, you are not alone, my dear. If you ever need someone, I am here. Ywens Hime, thank you for telling me that we will get better and to survive. Jane Doe, thank you for sharing an experience and for inspiring me to inspire other with what I write. I sure hope I do inspire them.

You see, I want to live. I want to see the beauty of the life I am yet to have. I want to see the world and all of its goodness. You ever had a bucket list? I do. It's not yet complete but I hope I would complete them someday.

HERE ARE SOME REASONS TO WANT TO STAY ALIVE. 

1. You have forever to die. Let me tell you this. Once you're dead. You really are dead. You can't come back to life and experience all the great possibilities that were waiting for you at the right time. We don't know for sure about reincarnation or the afterlife. I believe in God, I do. But when we die, we die. There is no coming back to life.

2. The little things. You could get by with the little things. Maybe a beautiful sunset? I mean, who doesn't admire the sky? Not when it's gloomy of course. But it (the gloomy skies) can be beautiful, you know. You can be beautiful whether you are a gloomy sky or not. Music counts as well, too. I am a fan of great many artists. And take it from me, one good song can really turn your day the right side up. Books are one of the little things. It's a great escape. I highly recommend Oh, the places you'll go! by Dr. Seuss or The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, and my favorite of all time— All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. If you don't read, you should try it sometime. People forget that it's the little things that count most. Take time to admire these little things.

3. Dreams. I know, when you're depressed and have anxiety, you have trouble achieving dreams. You always think negative and that you won't be able to achieve that. I get it, I've been there. I still am. But there are some days, when I'm completely awake (a state in which I wake up utterly weird and not depressed), when I dream of many great dreams. I've always dreamed to be a doctor, if not, a secret agent. I dream of having a family, a family unlike mine, of course. I dream of having a marriage where my children would say "I want a marriage like mom and dad's."  I dream of travelling to all these great places on earth. I dream of being a mother, a good one at that. I dream of being happy. It's not bad to dream, right? And those dreams, you may not realize it, they get you by.

4. Great Possibilities. Yes, possibilities. If one thing is this, then it leads to this. But if it is not that, then it leads to another. It may not seem much to put your neck on it, but those possibilities mean that there is so much more life than what you think. Yes, it's not always good, but it's also not always bad. We have our days. All you have to do is get by today, survive and then hope for a great possibility of tomorrow. And if tomorrow is bad, then hope for a great possibility of the next day. And so on and so forth. Believe, the littlest of hope gets you by. And the hope comes from all these possibilities. And I tell you, there is and always will be a possibility of a good thing. 

5. Love. Clichè, I know. But it's not always love for one's partner or love for one's self. I once asked my grandmother this, "How many times have you been in love?" She answered me with my own question, "How many times have you?" I told her I've been in love only twice. I was assuming we were talking about boys. She shook her head and hit me (yes, she did that). "You've been in love a couple times, ate (for those of you who don't know, ate is a Filipino word to refer to girls older than you. And my grandmother is only saying that for my younger siblings and cousins to follow). You cried when Pia (my dog) died. You've been in love with her. You've been in love with art, music, books, your bed! You're in love with the internet, your cellphone! And you tell me you've been in love only twice. I assume you're talking about men. You've been in love a thousand times, darling, that I can say." And I now realize that. I've been in love with flowers, skies, beaches and the beauty of the world. I've been in love with the characters of the books I read to the point that I was dreaded when Finch died (spoiler alert). I've been in love with the little things that I don't notice I'm already in love with them. Love really is inside us. It's the nature of things and why we do what we do that makes us happy. Love is everything. And I believe you can feel it, too. Go ahead and find love in life. Even if it's for the smallest of things.