Writer note: I'm not trolling, please read at least four chapters before you judge the story.
This is my story. I was a scatophobic, autistic ten years old child; I would spend most of my time alone inside of my dark sinister room, always sitting on my bed, admiring those beautiful, brown and gorgeous silhouettes and, even though it was hard to actually see them, they were amazing, beautiful and very smooth on contact. At least to me.
I have always admired potatoes; Believe it or not, I dumped my best friend because I have seen him eating one, yes. Although I was a narcoleptic, I woke up every Tuesday at 8 o' clock, only to go with my mom to the grocery shop in order to see nice fresh potatoes on the shelves. Day in day out, I've grown up into a mature young man; Fortunately, my unconditional love for potatoes grew with me, I literally became "potato-holic", I'd get a severe headache with a terrible fever only for not seeing potatoes and eventually, I started doubting my sanity, I wanted to suicide but my faith kept me from doing it.
Finally, the shock came later on, I can't really remember. But well, I recall seeing a spoiled brat stomping on a potato. Unable to control my anger, my body did commit the sin that cannot be forgiven. Yes I managed to escape the physical punishment, but how could I heal the terrible wound on my heart? The answer is simple: I could fucking not.
So I decided to slow down and stop for a second to take a look at the bloodthirsty monster that I have become, I didn’t like it, I abhorred it and instead of accepting it, I decided to kill it for the good of humanity, for my own sake because I was a useless individual who ruthlessly massacred a human being.
In order to take action I had to wait until nighttime, after stealing a knife from the kitchen I returned to my room and opened the window, there was a beautiful forest behind our house, and the sky was so clear. “No matter how far they try to leap, they’ll always be under you. Huh, pathetic.” I peeked at the moon, it was crescent. “What a shame, I'm going to die in such a beautiful night, under a splendid starry sky, couldn’t you at least be pitch black black and rainy you fucking slut.” I said to myself in an angry tone. Soon enough I summoned my courage and pulled the knife out, one stab, two stabs, the blood began to flow out and just when I was about to go for the heart, the moon turned brown, shrunk, and levitated slowly until it reached the window. It took an ambiguous yet divine form and sat right next to me.
Intrigued, I looked at it, I was unable to control my words. "Are you..." I said before it interrupted me, "Yes, I am, no need to say anything, I understand you." I was so relieved.
Later on, we went through a very deep conversation, which has shown me the truth, the true reality, the ultimate achievement. The mysterious entity asked for a pen and a sheet of paper on which it wrote forty two words and with these words, I learnt how cruel reality was, I learnt how good it was too, I learnt what life is, what dead is, and what lies between them, what scientists, writers and philosophers seek. With a deep voice, the entity asked me whether I was ready or not, I didn't understand anything, after all what am I? Nothing but a humble servant ready to give up his useless life and, with no hesitation I said yes, the entity took my hand. We levitated for a while and flew away...