S.A.M SavingAllMemories

I was  exactly 4 years 2 months and 3 weeks old when my father left my mother. I don't remember much but my grandmother told me she died of grief but that was a lie something she'd tell me to "improve" my life. My mother was useless she killed herself how selfish she stole from me. I couldn't love someone I didn't know but a part of me yearned for her touch her voice and her love. By 16 I was unstoppable or so I thought. I personally blame the drugs for that illusion. You have no idea how much promises was made but nobody kept their word it was a cycle and it kept repeating itself until I freed myself from the chains the ones I created I must admit I've lost more than I gained I've had my will to survive knocked out of me. Nothing I bought was mine cause soon I'd sell it for my next fix. I spent nights crying like a baby holding my pillow so I don't have to feel so damn alone. at 18 I met my father I have 2 sisters from his marriage they were much older than me. My mom got pregnant and Threatened to tell his wife so he paid her off and my mother needed money to raise me she dropped me off at my grandmothers house on the 11th of December 1999 she was supposed to work night shift or that's what she said she left the money in a bag with me. My grandmother still refuses to use it. When I met Sam she was 16 my first friend her tale was very tragic all on its own a friend of ours knew her older brother Travis one night they got high Sam and Travis passed out and his friend raped her on the mattress right next to him she was fragile very petite and short with a fear of everything somehow I grew to love her when she needed a mom I was there although it was just a two year difference. Sam had a crystal habit so she managed to get herself into all kinds of shitty situations and I was the one she called to pull her out of it at times I've had to fight off men twice my size she's gotten me shot until I begged her to stop she'd promise me time and time again. She slept with a lot Of dodgy men to get a gram or two if she didn't have money and they all ended beating her up or passing her around between a few of them like a fucking toy I was furious but never with her I couldn't be but deep deep down I was jealous why did they get to have her but I never could I refused to buy her love with drugs. Sam ended up getting me killed I died holding her in my arms as low as I've ever been but her head under my chin and her heat next to me was enough to make the pain worth it. I don't know what happened to Sam I don't know where she is and if she's safe...... I'm just hoping nobody makes our mistakes