And, I won.
The golden medal around my neck; a first for me.
I've always longed for this moment.
The thing that I so desired is in front of me
and yet, I stood frozen.
Ages ago felt like a dream...
No matter how hard I try
I've always been second fiddle, option B
nothing but a viola to a violin
Like a sickly child to medicine,
I've swallowed this bitter pill for years.
Now here I am mere inches to a sweet balm
yet, I cannot help but vomit before it even touches my lips.
I am my own fool.
Victory feels like an impregnable wall.
It dawned on me.
There was nothing after this,
All but a championed abyss.
Recall the years of determined practice
the gritted teeth of being announced second place
the slow loosening of grip and the congratulatory handshake,
the hope for a comeback, a redemption from losing yet again.
Those feelings are invalid now.
Please, I beg of you.
Give me silver instead of gold.