While everyone is trying to find the love of their life, she was trying to forget about finding hers.
She was trying to cope up with all the scars, wound and pain that were left from the man she loved.
She was trying to retrieve her old self as she was before.
She, who was happy with making herself busy while flipping every page of her favorite pocketbooks. For her, every page was important.
She was happy to believe that love had always a happy ending. Whenever she read those, everything was just so perfect. Every chapters and scene of those books were screaming LOVE.
She, who just dreamed to experience those feelings that she was just reading, but after she felt that, she just want to go back and just read it. From there, she was symphatizing the one who was in pain. Unlike in reality, she was the one who was hurt.
She, who believed that those in pain from the books that she read will eventually find their way back to happiness. The author already know the plot and will take them back to the arms of each other. Unlike in reality, there’s no one who can heal your broken heart unless yourself.
She missed those times that she just lay in bed and have a good night sleep. Unlike this time that she have more time to think of those vanished memories with him than she have for sleep.
She tried to say the words ‘I love you’ but, it didn’t feel right. Perhaps for her. She couldn’t feel the happiness or pain that she once felt whenever she was saying those words to him.
She was trying to forget all the feelings that she had for him.
She was trying to live her life the way it was before.. without him..
As of the moment, she wants to feel every pain. All that pain that she had kept.. All that pain that she thought was gone, all those emotions.. she wantd to feel it again all at once.
Today, she wants to make a promise to herself. A promise that might be broken, but, she’s willing to do everything to fulfill it. A promise of a new life. A new beginning, towards genuine happiness. She wants to make herself happy and full of life. But, she just don’t have the courage yet.. She wantd to take it little by little, in the form of baby steps. She knows for a fact, that it will take long, but, as long as she’ll get there, she’s fine with it.