"Hey, Nick!"
"Y-yes?"
"I want to talk to you," he glances at my friends who were obviously ogling in the background.
"Alone." he spoke in private finality.
An unfamiliar heat crawls through my cheeks as stealthily as my DOTA ambush strategy could ever wish to be.
"Ye-yeah. No problem." I tried to sound confident but judging by how shaky my voice sounded, it didn't work.
Wordlessly, he took my left arm which was pathetically sweaty. Before I could pull my hand off or even utter a word of protest, he gently pulled me to a semi-vacated part of our classroom. I could still feel the phantom-stares of my best friends nearby.
"Listen, Nick. We've been classmates since the second year and until now, as seniors, I still don't know you." he trails off for a bit, inhales sharply, and continues.
"I'd like to fix that. Will you go out to the Prom with me?"
For the first time in years, I get to observe him face to face. It was common classroom knowledge that he has brown eyes but I never saw it up close until now. It was the shiniest and biggest pair of hazel eyes I'd ever seen. My breathing hitched and the pounding in my chest began ringing in my ears.
From this angle, I could see the edges of his ear lobes redden in slow motion. Because of this scene, my cheeks responded by getting impossibly hotter. I'm definitely blushing and his hold of my hand grew questionably tighter.
"Ummm.." then, everything snapped.
-
"Nick!" I could hear my seatmate hiss my name. My head did a quick-twitch which I automatically regretted as I was starting to have a headache from the sudden movement.
"Miss Alvarez!" comes the stern voice of my Chemistry teacher.
"Ma'am?" I meekly replied as I stared at her quizzical face. If there's one thing I knew for sure about Ma'am Casible, it is to never tell her that you fell asleep in her class.
"Balance the chemical equation on the board."
That sealed my fate.
-
"Geez, Nick. Of all the subjects you can sleep through, you picked Chemistry," commented Gwen as we were walking away from the Chem Lab after my self-inflicted community service.
"It's not that I'd done it on purpose," I replied, indignant.
"Still. If you weren't good in lip-reading, Ma'am Casible would've had your head sliced and dissected in her golden platter." chimed in Martha from my left side.
"Whatever." I scoffed getting annoyed by the sudden scolding I've gotten from my friends. "But really guys, thanks for saving my butt earlier."
"No big deal, Nick." Gwen smacked my back so hard that it rattled my thin form.
"What're best friends for, right?" Martha smiled warmly.
-
After a whole month of hellish work, a typhoon went in and decided to give us young adults a much-needed break for a day. Now as the last drops of rain, fell off from my windowpane, I started to type on FaceBook.
hi! it's a holiday. wanna hang out?
SEEN 1:05 PM
"Must be busy with work or something" my mind automatically comes up and I move on to do other things.
Heya Gwen! Saw your mom and sister at the mall yesterday. How're you? It's been awhile. When can I visit you again?
SEEN 2:34 PM
"Hmm.. she must be busy." I quipped as I scroll on Gwen's post which she shared a minute ago.
Martha! Guess what?
-uploading picture-
He proposed! I'm getting married!
I blinked unbelievably.
You're probably just becoming too emotional, Nick. Stop overthinking on that emoji!
I waited for those familiar three dots to come up and tell me that you have more to say. Not even a word ever came after the emoji.
You have no right to expect too much, Nick! And besides, this is social media. Folks communicate differently in person.
#choosingplacesoverpeople
This was Gwen's hashtag on her recent IG post and a twinge of pain stabbed me a little.
"She had been sheltered since high school so it's no surprise if she enjoys her freedom now as an adult. Relax, Nick. Everything is not all about you."
3 AM: I've murmured repeatedly as I snuggled like a fetus against the sleeping warmth of my fiance.
Sorry. The number you're calling is currently unavailable or out of coverage area. Please try you call later.
It was after the fifth call that I heard the operator say this. Ultimately, I stopped trying.
It's late, Nick. Maybe Martha is tired.
hey, dude! please reply. I'm getting married this year and I'd just wanna know if you'll still be there to help me?
Gwen's latest post emerged in my Newsfeed.
I felt paranoid.
Was this post meant for me?!
Enraged and confused, my pathetically sweaty hand let go of my phone. I numbly heard it crash nearby. I wanted to post something back or maybe, chat her to ask about that post. I took a screenshot and was about to send it to her and a piece of my mind when I stopped typing altogether.
I don't want to read Gwen's reply.
I don't want Martha to tell me that what I've been thinking was absolutely true.
A taste of bile suddenly assaulted my tongue and my stomach lurched. Hurriedly, I reached for the sink and threw up.
Had it really been a year? Was she really that busy every time I tried to reach out? What have I done? What's my fault? Should I have done more? Am I not her friend anymore? Am I not as important to her as she is to me? What happened to what are best friends for?
Were the compressed thoughts I had to drive off with every FaceBook Seen incident, every curt emoji, every ignored DM, every phone call hang up.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
These thoughts sent me crumbling on my cold, tiled, bathroom floor.
Like an invocation, I kept on mumbling this very passage to myself in hopes that it will shield me from the truth.
"Are you all right there, love? I've just heard you retching and then a suspicious thud. It's been 30 minutes." the sound of Ivan's worried voice infiltrated my thoughts and warped me back to wakefulness.
"I'm fine, love. Just a little sick." I tried to grit my teeth as I spoke. My cheeks continued to grow hotter and my shoulder felt too heavy. I just let myself succumb to gravity and laid my sorry self on the bathroom floor.
"Just five minutes more. Then, I'll be all right." I whispered to myself.
I'll definitely be all right. This too shall pass. After all, If they can change, so can I.