I had a serious argument today with a classmate,it was about how the youth is wasted on the young, she thought that she could make me believe that I said things I didn't really say.I tried my hardest to keep a straight face,but I don't know if she bought it or not. She said that I overthink alot, and that I should just live the present for what it is. That is partly true but I can't help myself but think about the future and mostly the past. My life hasn't been exactly what I wanted it to be but then again it's not a life that I detest it is what God chose for me and I accept it,I may not love it but I have to accept it and enjoy the most of it. I try not to have any regrets I try to change, for example I've been working on making myself accept others'points of view,because to be honest I've never accepted anyone's point of view I always tried to change their thoughts,but what I forgot is that they were trying to change mine too. So I decided that it was about time for me to make a change. It was a choice ,a lifetime's choice. It's true that we only live once and that the life that we're going to live may not be what we want and probably we won't accept it but we'll try to because that's all we can do. We are humains who live Under the same sky we share the same air and we breath the same way. Each and every single one of us is living his own story but in a different way.It all comes to acceptence. When you accept who you are everything becomes easy. I tried but I couldn't I guess I'm not in that state of mind yet. I have a lot to learn I just need a mentor, someone to take my hand and open up my mind to new things and new ideas,someone to help me see the universe in a different way,in a way that can help me understand it ,understand my own existence. I haven't found this person yet and what scares me is that I may never find him because he's too busy living his life. I try to make the most of every moment but lately I noticed that I havent sat with my family for more than a minute for what is close to two years now. All I do is Watch movies and tv shows. I see my dad once in a month and all I say to him is Hi and then I go to my room, close it and wait for him to call me so I can say bye. That kind of life is terrible; I know ,but it's not what I really want if I could I'd change it right away but something Inside me makes me want to just be alone.I think that what I'm writing doesn't make sence and I really want to write something that can make people relate to me since they don't know me by name, because I hate sharing my story with people who are close to me ,for no reason; just because.Which made me think of something else. I've always wanted to be remembered, to have people know who I am as a person and to admire me, but I've never done anything to be remembered with. People do not believe me although I've always ;well! not always but most of the time; I only told them the truth. This may seem insane but I just recalled something. Remember the girl I talked about in the bigining of this article well let me tell you what happened between us. I met her at my new school this year we are in the same class. For a brief amount of time we used to eat lunch together, go home together,talk about our daily life and then I realised that all she talked about was how she needed to help her brother do his homework and how she needed to take her brother to his school, or even how she always needed to make him breakfast,lunch and dinner. Her brother is fifteen and from what she said he never enters the kitchen because he is too afraid to go there alone. Believe me even after I stopped talking to her she still talks to me about how she needs to do things for her brother. Anyhow I felt like she was lying to me, she said alot of things that I discovered weren't true,she said that she is very shy and that she cannot talk to people and believe me when I say that she holds the number one spot of the students that never shut up in class and when I say shut up I don't mean talk to friends and make some noise,uh uh she litteraly asks the professor about every small detail in every single sentence he says. She always needs to brag about somehting.Anyways let me tell you why I decided to push myself away from her.I had a seat that I liked and after having lunch we went to the classroom,the classroom was empty,no one was in there and she went to MY seat, put her stuff on MY desk and sat there,so I asked her why did you do that?That's my seat.And I promise I really said it while smiling it was only a joke I wanted to see her reaction,and then she said to me: Well it's not like you have your name written on the table or anything. Wow, seriously? is that an answer you can expect from someone who's always shy?she seemed cold in a way that made me feel, and I don't know why,that I should stay away from her,that is how I got sure that she only lied to me and that she never really told me the truth.So multiple things between me and her happened I guess I'l write about it later if I ever get the chance to.But the important thing is that sometimes we feel like a person is not suited to be our friend,that can happen in life,but we have to be mentaly prepared to believe that others might feel the same way about us,they might hate us for no specific reason.In brief I just want to learn more I don't want to seem greedy or anything but I wish I could know people's stories, because there are a few persons that I can tell from their eyes that they have an interesting story,that they are living a life Worth sharing and Worth listening to.I just hope that someone reads what I write.Don't like it and don't think about it,forget it after reading it,or laugh about how bad written it is or about how I make a lot of spelling mistakes. But please just read it.
Thank you.