It is the very first time for me that I sit to write something but couldn't write anything. Feeling dejected,the feeling of being useless is just rising day by day. Again this very thought of loosing my dream has taken my sleep. I can't live with one more broken dream of mine, this pain inside me is unbearable,I am loosing it.I want to shine like star but there is no one who can understand this side of me.Everyone demands me to be happy and make them happy like I am their personal entertainer,I just want to be me,I don't want to fulfill anyone's expectation but mine. I want to be selfish,I want to think about myself so that I can achieve what I want. I am fighting with God to just give me one chance to do something that I want just one chance. I don't know I will get it or not.My mind is just fill with all negative thoughts,I have this thought that I am so bad that even my one dream can't be completed.And with this thought I had all the sleeping pills.........
But I dint die what happened then to me,I woke up like I was dreaming then suddenly I saw my lifeless body lying on the floor. I saw my parents crying,my sister was devasted. I remember how she used to look at me like I was her role model,but now am I her role model,what she will learn from me,what she'll think that her didi can't fight her problems. My father he used be very proud of me whatever new I used to do,in starting of my every work he used to hate it but then he felt proud about it. My mother she loved me so much,even now she love my lifeless body she is not letting anyone to touch my body. What the hell I did with myself,I din't only kill myself but also my family. My bestie came and he just called me traitor,that I forgot my promise to tell him everything good or bad or worst and said he hates me for this. No I can't do this to them,I want to go back I don't want to die,give my body back. But it was too late the thing which I had done can't be undone..........
My alarm clock rang I woke up and find that it was just a dream,a worst nightmare ever I had seen. I ran to my parents hug them and my sister I hugged her and kissed her. I called my bestie and discuss every problem of mine. Now I am feeling relieved,my problems might not be solved but I am feeling lighter now. Thank you so much God for giving me this beautiful life and this lovely people around me.