Holding back his emotions,
Always been said to become like someone he's not,
He started behaving like others, eating like them, treating like them, still he wasn't able to become like them,
His feet weren't of the correct size for that life's shoes,
As the time passed by,
the boy become lonely,
started believing that he don't deserve to live, started giving up on life,
He thought of letting it go,
He thought of just going with the flow.
He desired friends,
He tried to buy them,
Of course not with money directly,
But by spending everything on others,
Others also took him as a hen with golden eggs,
They used him, used him till the time they can,
They don't want to get loose of him,
They wanted him to keep on spending,
For that, they started putting him in trouble,
And then protecting him from the trouble,
But then suddenly a person entered into his life,
That person changed his life,
Showed him that you don't need to get yourself used,
Showed him the better world,
But still the man he always tried to be,
He was never able to achieve that,
Because he wasn't that person.
From the adolescence till the end of the teenage,
He dreamt to be the one he was always told to,
He tried years and years in becoming like him,
Now when he finally achieved that position,
He found out that he just lost the vision,
The vision of what that person have become,
Whom he admired the most,
Like whom he wanted to be,
Now, it was the time when he realize,
While looking at the back of someone,
He didn't realized,
when he started to see hallucinations,
Hallucinations of his dream getting closer,
When in actuality his dream was way far away,
So far, that he couldn't even see him,
He was lost, he don't know what to do,
He don't know what to be,
He don't know whom to be,
By chasing that person, for so long,
He forgot even himself, in order to achieve what he desired,
And when he accomplished his goal,
He found out that the goal was just a hallucination,
Actuall goal was way far away,
what he achieved after so many years,
Was just that position of the goal,
Which he was told to achieve years ago,
Now he's lost,
Now, he have forgotten even who he was,
Now, he don't know what to do,
His wants, his desires, he likes, dislikes, hobbies,
He wasn't able to found anything,
All he found in the end was the darkness,
The darkness swallowed him,
And asked him to kill himself,
Until he does that,
he won't be able to get out of here,
The boy didn't knew what to do,
The boy was afraid,
He tried to kill himself,
But wasn't able to finish the work properly,
He is now half dead,
He didn't knew what he was,
But now, he was a wanderer,
A wanderer looking for answers,
Entering into the world of other people,
Looking for answers,
Trying his best,
Trying to show others the correct direction,
"It's a hard job, specially when you are lost yourself"
He was half dead...
Maybe if the society, the family, the peer, haven't pressurized him to be someone whom he is not, then he might still be alive, he might still be what he used to be, then he might still be able to grow up into a better person, instead of gaining others' strength, if he had tried to find his own, then it might be a different situation now, he might still be alive.