I think it's the forbidden part that attracts you. You just can't help being in love, can you? They say your first crush is just the beginning, but what if it turns into more than just a crush. What if it ends up being love? What if we both can't cope with that one word, love?
I've had my eyes on him since the first time I saw him. I just can't believe it took him this long to tell me he loves me. How could I even trust those golden curls when they've been played with by nearly every girl in school?
"Trust me," his voice sang in my head.
I could feel my blood turn cold as he lifted my chin; our noses almost touching. I could feel the warmth of his breath brushing the top of my lip. And then he softly kissed me. It was magic, the way his lips connected with mine. It was right, and somehow, in the midst of the dizziness and the clinging to him like a life line, something inside me changed, never to be reversed. This new feeling could be dwelled upon later, because, for now, I was content to feel his breath come and go with mine.
But that wasn't right.
He was Jason Vaderin, our families had been in a feud for years. I couldn't break my family's promise. No matter how great it felt.
"No," I pushed away from his soothing lips, bombed by his honey eyes.
He looked hurt and broken, but what could I do? It had been years, why now? Why now does he finally tell me how he feels?
"Why? How do I know this isn't a trick?" I could feel tears fighting to get out, but I didn't want to prove that I was weak.
"Do you think that's what kind of guy I am?" His eyes dragged down at the marble floor.
The school was empty other than the drama teacher, who at the time was working on the new production of Romeo and Juliet.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to think?" I admitted, my voice was quiet and rusty. How could I say 'No' to the love of my life? I've thought of Jason and me forever, our first kiss and everything. Now that it's happening, I'm terrified.
"I want you to know this," his eyes met mine as he spoke. "When I first met you, I knew you were a Granger, so I instantly hated you. I mean I literally wanted to shoot myself when I heard about your family!"
Was he insulting me? Is this his way of getting girls to kiss him again? My feet moved away from him, but I was startled when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him.
"But then we started to talk, and you helped me through the difficult times. I don't know how I can thank you Violet? But you and I were from two different worlds, so I didn't try anything."
I bit my lip so hard that I could actually taste blood.
"Then why did you?" Wasn't that the question that was flying through my mind since fireworks flew as we kissed? "Why did you kiss me when you know nothing can happen? Our families won't allow it."
"Because," he took a long breath and I could feel my pulse starting to run. "You're a Granger Violet and I respect that, I do. But I can't stand it looking at you every day and knowing I can never have you!" My heart began to sprint as tears flew down his cheek.
What better way could he say he loves me?
"Kiss me," he whispered into my ear, my body shaking in excitement.
But, this was wrong. I- I can't. No matter how much I loved him, and how I adored how he would listen to me and-
It was too late, his lips crushed against mine. Even with all these mixed feelings building up inside me I threw my arms over his neck.
It took a few seconds before he pulled back. His eyes sank in to me like the Titanic all those years ago. He began to trace my face with his thumb, his finger soft and gentle. Once he reached my lips he sighed in joy, and leaned over. I expected him to kiss me, but instead his lips danced along my ear and he said, "I love you Violet Granger."
My heart burst. I heard these words once before, but I was younger. Now, now I know exactly what Love is. Love is when you are able to put away all your wants and needs for someone, someone special. My father said that there was no such thing as love. But he knew nothing. Love is special, and sacred. Love is what I felt for Jason, and it was so strong and pure that I was afraid what this love would lead to.
I pushed him away from me, and his face crumbled in fear. I slowly reached for his chest, and placed my palm on top of his heart, his strong rhythm pushing against me. Thud, thud. Without a second to spare I kissed his forehead, and gradually moved towards his lips.
When we finally broke apart, I instantly noticed the smile on his face. It warmed my heart to see him happy. He was a good man, a kind hearted special guy. I knew what I had to say to prove it all to him.
"I love you too."
"Miss Granger? Miss Granger?" I couldn't see anything with the white light blasting into my eyes. I felt blind, completely clueless and unsure what brought me here.
I was in a dull, cramped room, decorated in colors designed to be restful but come off as akin to a decorator's choice(s) for a funeral home, desperately trying to look like someone's bedroom but lacking personality. There were cold, institutional tile floors and windows that look out on neighboring roofs, with no real view. The bed I lay in was somewhat lumpy with padding and sheets that were trying to mask the thick plastic covering the mattress. The sheets were sterile white with a pale blue blanket, which scraped my bare, unshaved legs every time I tried to sit up.
The atmosphere gave the room a darker feeling, as if it was empty even though nurses had been jumping in and out all day. A few items, that I'm not sure even belonged to me were scattered around the room. I could hear the digital monitoring system that tended to beep every time I moved and the sounds of coughs and moans coming from the rooms across mine. There was a tube connected to my arm, which carried dark red liquid into a container over my head. My nose began to burn from the strong smells of antiseptics and bleach. Is this how it felt like to be a prisoner?
At the foot of my bed, a blurry figure looked at me. Her eyes were sapphire blue that you were effortlessly mesmerized by, with long skinny eyelashes in the color midnight that she flicked almost constantly, trying to hold back her tears. Her skin was slightly lighter than mine, with a burning rose colored tint to her cheek. Her faultless moonlight black hair fell loosely over her shoulders into skinny, slack curls. Her lips were like a frozen rose, dangerous but beautiful.
Of course I knew who she was. My mother. The exact picture of me.
I never thought I'd see her again, not since I told her about Jason and me. That's why we ran, I guess? No one understood. We loved each other. How were we supposed to know what was going to happen?
The bright light of the car raced towards us. The windshield imploded, showering the insides with deadly crystals of glass. Both the driving wheel and dashboard compacted into one mangled mess. The rear side passenger door was savagely torn free from its hinges and the front two wheels were sent spinning out into the night. My head throbbed from the dark and frightening memory.
But just like that she began to disappear, her blurry figure flying away into the air.
Just like Shakespeare's tragic love story, first Romeo killed himself for his love. Then Juliet, with no reason to live, closed her eyes and let herself go.
Love can make you do a thousand things. There are heartbreaks and fights, but when you finally let go. That hurts too much for you to handle. Maybe that's why it was forbidden?
BEEEEEP
"Time of death 7:01 am."