I’ve always been concerned with what others think about me. I wanted to do well in the world. I had a deep need for outer acceptance because I wasn’t embracing myself on the inside.
I thought that if I just stayed out of trouble—if I just avoided controversy and did my best to please the people around me—I’d feel safe in the world.
Perhaps even wanted.
And so I became the nice guy.
I let other people come first. I put my own needs aside. I sacrificed my wellbeing.
And I was miserable.
But in the last years, something changed.
I put me higher up the priority list.
It’s not that I became an asshole or stopped caring. I realized that I’m still someone who feels and empathizes deeply with others.
But I decided to stop operating out of fear and guilt.
And I’ve realized that, as much as it sounds like a cliché, you have to cultivate happiness within instead of expecting the world to hand it to you as a trophy for your “good” behavior.
So, I began practicing martial arts and became more confident.
I resolved to not put up with other people’s shit.
I gave up being nice.
And in doing so became more empowered. More genuine. More me. 👌