The Problem

I think I know,

Why they say so;

Closed off, I may be,

Closed off, I may seem,

But know,

It's not by choice,

Maybe it is, sometimes.

I've been hurt,

Hope you got something out of it,

I wouldn't have had to go through the pain for nothing.

I think I know why it seems so.

I know I'm going,

You do too,

Why wouldn't you, I've told you myself,

I don't know where, though,

Funny, no?

A fairly good idea of where I want to be,

Not how to get there, and that is the problem;

I know what I don't want,

A list, a few meters long probably,

I know who I don't want to be,

For that, I have very good role models,

For who I don't want to be, that is;

Have a vague idea of who I wantto be like, I do,

A teacher, more like a mother, my best friend,

Helped me through a lot,

Finding myself,

Just a part though, a huge part, yes,

Another teacher, more like a big brother, a friend too,

Saying you don't know much,

Brother dear; your not much is my a lot,

Don't know what you guys mean to me, do you?

I hope you do,

If not, I'll show you.

I think I know why they do so,

And, I think I will too,

Leave, that is,

And make myself who I can be,

Who I need to be;

Leave,

And make myself a life, not an existence,

With what I love;

Books, and music, and

My family, of course,

Not of blood though.

I think I know.

But this, I do know for sure;

Like a phoenix from ash,

I will rise;

But for now,

All I gotta do is hold on, and yes,

Hope.