Forcing some secrets out can bring about good things and bad things alike. We never know what will be the end result till we force it, right? Well, in my case, I am still hoping I didn’t do it. I forced it out form another in order to case me hurt; to ruin me. Why? Personally, till now, I have no idea. And I guess, will never have a definite result..
Life can be challenging in itself, but have you ever thought about certain actions that have caused those difficulties? Have you ever tried thinking to yourself, “what if?” . I know I always do…
When I reached the age of 6; my parents are exceptionally busy dealing with their work. The only person I grew up is my nanny. Which I often disagree with; control and manipulate... I was a brat… A fully pledged brat…
I was being sent to a prestigious school, provided with the best things a child could ever ask for. Was I happy with my life? Nah, not at all... I was depressed beyond depression. I was looking for love; hoping I would find it. I continue to search it, I hope I have found it at last…
Being one of the students belonging to the honor roll of our school, I was proud. I thought by doing great at school my parents will finally focus their attention on me. Nope, I was mistaken. It was a falsely lived hope.
Since they were providing everything a young girl’s heart would ever desire, I was a school celebrity. I am always ‘in fashion’. Everything I have, from my shoes to the very hair pin I am wearing. Due to this, I had a lot of ‘friends’. I could call them that way; I wish… Maybe for the sake of being formal here I would let them keep the name; just for term sake.
Living in my world, I show that outwardly I am happy. Even if it was a lie, I desired to keep it… one thing about sadness; it is easy to show. As for depression; you won’t show it till it eats you up from within, till you are dead emotionally…
Being a queen bee at school was great. It gives you lots and lots of followers, lots of ‘friends’. But, of course; since all things have a good side and a bad side; I had rivals to face… I had to deal with several girls that want to take my place. There was one in particular; who came from the same area as I live. Our families were rivals from the oldest to the youngest. Thanks to this, the school was a battle field, the gym was an arena, and the canteen was the wild coliseum. Both had followers igniting every meeting into a duel. Fed up by the situation, I confronted this person… Never imagining what will come out of her mouth could destroy me forever…
I was adamant with her avoiding me. I went so far as to block her; the two of us; one on one… She gave me a sarcastic laugh, an eye roll and a tone which can irritate even the meekest person on earth. I still didn’t give up; I forced it out of her… How I wish I didn’t do it. Why did I do it? I know now… it was all because I had too much ego, too proud to accept a defeat…
The secret out, yet I won’t believe it… I WAS ADOPTED… This was the thing that destroyed me a few hours after I was told. Proud person that I am, I refuse to believe the girl. Me? Adopted? You must be kidding me. Reaching home that day, I waited for my parents. Surprisingly, they were home before me. I rushed into the study; mom and dad were till their neck with work. Still all aflame with the desire for truth, words just came out of my mouth… AM I ADOPTED?! A GIRL TOLD ME I AM, I WON’T BELIEVE IT!!!
The thing that came out of my mom’s lips; how I wish it literally killed me... YES DEAR, WE ARE SORRY… No one could imagine the pain I felt that day. Till now it hurts me, kills me every time I remember it……