The Seeker

When I wake up every morning, I begin a routine. I do this every day and it is like my muscle memory does it rather than my brain. It tells me freshen up, cook, get ready and go to work. And, honestly while I am writing this, the above words feel so mundane.

I am so caught up with this routine that it makes me hate it. I am alive and I have so much information available to me that says life is not supposed to be lived in one set way. I see people chasing their dreams, achieving them and creating newer dreams. They make it look so easy but it definitely isn't. Seeing them reminds me that I used to have dreams when I was younger. I used to feel invincible when I was younger. What happened to me now? (That's rhetorical so please move on)

It takes a certain amount of courage and patience to stick to your dreams. But it takes something intangible to have a dream. And, that is what I seek. I seek to be someone who could make the most of my present but have those imaginable dreams that I work towards. There have been times where I have done things because most people did it but given a choice now, I would not go down that way. Maybe if I believed in my invincibility and those old dreams, I would not be writing this now.

What is that I dream to dream? Where do I go from here? Or should I go at all? Brooding about it made me realize that I seek to develop this dream like a child. I would feed it, play with it for sure. But, I would leave it on its own so that it learns how to walk and that is only by falling.
Maybe that intangible thing is not just a thing but it's a combination of things. Like I said before, a child learns walking by falling. But the fear of failure makes it difficult to try again. Maybe it makes you feel not accepted by yourself and your people. This is the second thing I seek acceptance. Woah, it's going to be a really long road.

The third and final thing I seek is the journey. When I feel hopeless, I need it like a story to tell myself. To cherish the good times and to seek a moral from it. To believe that sometimes life may seem mundane but there were good times in it as well. To be aware that I had privileges that most people would probably look at with dream filled eyes. To push myself to take that next risky step again.