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"What if all this is just an illusion? You and me sitting here in this coffee shop; that couple there, crossing the road; that old beggar there, sitting all alone on the pavement; that car there which just narrowly missed that cyclist - what if all this is predestined? If someone knew all this?"
Ayesha realized that her boyfriend was in yet another one of his “thoughtful” episodes. She eased herself back into the cushioned chair and stared at Arjun. She remained silent. Another failed attempt. This is going to be tough.
Arjun was looking intently at something outside through his black rimmed glasses. He took another sip of his coffee and continued to hold the cup tightly as if to derive the last ounce of warmth to soothe his hands.
“So, tell me, as I am not that person who knows everything, why are we here right now? You told me over the phone that you had something to tell me, right?”
It has been over a year now, but still every time, Arjun’s deep masculine voice kind of intimidates Ayesha.
“Umm…right, listen Arjun…”, began Ayesha.
“You look beautiful today.The way your hair is falling over your face - I like it.”
Startled by the comment for a second, Ayesha mumbled, “Thank you.” O God, Arjun, are you trying to make this tougher than it already is?
Arjun was always this nice to her. He was one of those few good people in this big cold world who would always care for you, would think for you, stand by you in times of need and make you feel special when you yourself would feel like a piece of shit. Ayesha knows that well from her experiences.
A physics enthusiast, pursuing a PhD in "Relativity, Cosmology and Semi-Riemannian Geometry" - he is "thoughtful" many times in a day. His subject necessitates imagination. Ayesha knows that too. She likes it in him, but presently she had other motives. She was about to begin again when she was interrupted by the waitress who came up with the bill. Arjun paid for their two cappuccinos and the waitress went away.
"Listen Ayesha, you know what, if somehow you could travel faster than light itself then it would be possible to know the future. You know, that "Time-Machine" type concept. Now, won't that be a funny thing? If I could do that, then the first thing that I would look into is our future. How far we go down the line. I know it would be a long way down..."
Arjun smiled weakly and placed his hand on Ayesha's. He looked into her eyes. That passionate look.
Ayesha looked away. She can't take it any longer. With every passing moment, it was becoming more difficult. She has to do it. Forgive me, Arjun, it's not your fault.
"Arjun, its not that far down the line." She removed her hand from underneath Arjun's. "I am breaking up. I am sorry, but it's over. I have my reasons." She looked up to his eyes. There was a certain calmness in them. He was like that. He never overreacted. But on the inside...
"Is it me? Tell me, Ayesha."
"No, you are awesome. The time we spent together was great. I never felt so alive..."
"Then why?" Ayesha sensed a hint of pain in his voice.
She remained quiet. Arjun didn't force her. He knew better.
There were no words between them, but just the deep silence which was engulfing her by the minute.
At last, she spoke while looking outside,"Arjun, let's be realistic for a moment. I have thought about it for days before reaching this conclusion. We could end up together only in your utopian world. I am a realist. You know how things have been lately."
Things have really been tough lately. But then Arjun was always optimistic.
Ayesha realized that he has got up.
"I love you.", Arjun said, absentmindedly, and went away.
Ayesha suddenly felt a few drops of tears roll down her cheeks. She looked outside the window of the coffee shop. He crossed the road, and disappeared from her sight.
It was 3:30 am. Arjun was wide awake. He couldn't sleep, he needed answers. Was all of this predestined? But, then why? Why can't he control the outcome of the events in his own life? He had never wronged her, then why this injustice in return? It was injustice to him. Fate has taken away something precious from him. It was not her fault. He couldn't blame her for this. He was far too attached. Maybe her decision was for the better. Was it? He suddenly felt weak. He realized that he could never get hold of the much-needed answers. He picked up his phone.
Ayesha's phone beeped. She was awake as well. The anguish. She immediately picked it up. It was a text from him.
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
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Part of the Life collection
Updated on January 10, 2017
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