Ever since Jamie was a little girl, and she got a little camera for her seventh birthday, she would take random pictures of random things - might be a ladybug on the grass, or just the blade of grass, or the blade her mum used to chop them onions, or those cut and diced onions in the frying pan, or the fire itself, twisting and turning and swirling about. The point was, Jamie loved taking photographs and she took pictures of all things that sparked her curiosity. And everything seemed to spark her curiosity - she was genuinely interested, even when she was seven, in everything and miraculously, even at the age of seventeen, that basic characteristic of her remained unchanged.
So it wasn't out of order, not in the least surprising, to find a massive Sony ILCE Digital Single-Lens Reflex camera hanging from Jamie's neck, as she sat on a log on the Australian beaches, taking relentless gulps of her beer. There was a bonfire in the middle of what could only be called a late-night beach party, as many teenagers danced around it and passed drinks and barbecued fowl. The sound of the waves were loud tonight, louder than even their music, blasting off the jeep parked at some distance. The fire cackled once or twice, in time with the waves, but in between their beats all that could be heard was a constant chatter. The party was well into its dying stages; the jeep was full of passed out stoners, while some few people had crashed on the sand. Jamie was still on her seventh beer (hopefully), not being a raging alcoholic unlike the hosts of the party, and setting her mug on the sand, she raised her camera to her eyes.
Her camera focused on the distant waves, keeping the bonfire and a couple of girls dancing too close to each other in the frame, but blurred. Somehow, the choice of the subject of her picture made Jamie realize how 'absent' she was from the here, from the now, and she lowered her camera without having clicked anything. Her thin lips tightened, and she found a rubber band in her pocket to tie her short hair into a ponytail. Distinctively, she remembered her friends forcing her to straighten her hair, and how much time that had taken, but then the party and the sweat had pretty much brought her curls back. It did not matter, she preferred her hair like this, and fixing her red bikini firmly around her breasts, she proceeded to get up to leave. But right then she felt a sensation on her neck, and she jumped.
"What the fuck?"
The guy sitting next to her turned to look at her, surprised. He had just kissed her neck, and Jamie hadn't even known he was sitting there till now.
"What?" he asked, dumbly.
"What the fuck were you doing?" Jamie asked back.
"I was telling you how much I liked you for the bloody past hour, and you said nothing so i just went for it. You were listening to what i was saying, right?"
The guy next to her had black hair, and he looked innocent and sweet, although a hook shaped scar next to his eye ruined the look. More importantly, he looked hurt. Jamie was lost for words now; he had been talking to her?She had been listening to the waves. Looking around, she realized the waves weren't even as loud as she had previously imagined. Surely no one could hear it over the god forsaken music. Had she been imagining it all this while?
Moreover, what was she thinking right now, when the guy with increasingly pained expression looked at her expectantly. But before Jamie had a chance to explain, she was saved. Curt had just walked up to them, shirtless in all the glory of his greek god like body. He had a dark expression in his eyes, as he sized up the guy who had asked Jamie out without her listening to it.
"Is he bothering you?" Curt's blonde hair was wet, he had no doubt decided to take a swim in the night. He was still glaring at the guy, while addressing the question to Jamie.
Again, Jamie was saved from saying anything, as the guy stood up, frowned at Curtis and turned to look at Jaime.
"I was just leaving. Goodnight, Jamie."
***
Curtis offered to drop Jamie off, which she graciously accepted; anything to get out of that stifling atmosphere. Curt chuckled as he turned to look at Jamie, who presently was massaging her bare feet.
"Damn, what a night, huh, Curt?"
Curt simply smiled at the girl in reply, as he waited for her to catch up with him. Jamie had known Curtis all her life, why his father owned the ranch north of Jamie's daddy's farm, and as such they had been practically neighbors. Jamie had grown up with him, playing tag and riding their horses in her farmyard when they got the chance. The many years spent together had made Jamie immune to Curt's abs and that soft smile that was known to make other girls levitate two inches off the ground before they swooned; likewise Curt was also unaffected by the volume of breasts Jamie now possessed, or the length of the legs and the roundness of her thighs that she was currently massaging. The redheaded curly-haired girl had a round chubby face, and full lips, while the blonde male had sharp cheekbones and an even prominent chin. For many, it would have seemed that they would be best suited for each other, but somehow neither had managed to cross that unspoken boundary of friendship and beyond. Whether either of them even wanted to - well, that was unknown for both seldom shared their opinions of the other in company of someone else. All that was known was that they were good friends - bestfriends.
Presently, Curtis opened the door of his 4x4 like a chaperone for Jamie, and lent his jacket, without question. Jamie accepted without question too. They always had this good repertoire going about themselves, that somehow everyone else was excluded from.
Jamie slept in the car, her camera laying on her lap, an oversized Port Douglas "WildCats" jacket (Curt was a part of the football team; ace player in fact) draped around her shoulder. It was only when they reached Jamie's farm that Curt stopped his SUV, and nudged her to wake up. When she opened her eyes, he greeted her with a chuckle.
"Get off my car, mate." he said.
Jamie yawned while pushing Curtis' head away. She slowly opened the door, and almost fell off. The low rumble of the engine still running was all the noise that could be heard amongst the blue-by-moonlight pastures and the endless stars of the Australian night.
"Hey, Jamie?"
Jamie turned to look back, and through sleep laden eyes, she noticed concern in Curt.
"What?"
"Be careful about Evans."
"Who?"
Curt started scratching at the end of his eyebrows, a common expression of annoyance in him.
"The guy who was bothering you. He don't got no friends, and he don't got no life either, you know what I mean? He takes a special interest in a girl, and that doesn't go down well, not for the girl, you know?"
Jamie didn't like having to stand out there in the cold, with sleep in her eyes, having to listen to whatever Curt was going on about. He had always been protective of her, Jamie figured.
"I am done knowing, Curt. I am sure he is harmless."
"He stalked this particular girl named Melisa till she had to file a complaint with the coppers, yeah? Best you be careful, James. What was Evans talking with you about anyway?"
"Some of this, some of that" Jamie shrugged.
Curt's eyes narrowed.
"You zoned out completely while he was talking, didn't you?"
When Jaime didn't answer, Curtis finally broke from this serious self and laughed in his loud booming voice.
"Where's your head been lately, honestly, James?"
And laughing still, Curt backed up his car, causing Jamie to raise her hands against the glare of his headlights. She stood there for just a moment, watching his vehicle go down the slope, her fingers itching furiously, asking her to pick her camera up lest the moment fade away. But then it became too late, and Jamie prepared herself for the scolding she would undoubtedly receive from her mother as she headed home.
***
Everybody liked Harry. On a bright Sunday morning such as this one, the waves of the sea reflected the sun like a silvered mirror, yellow and white. Harry could be seen walking down towards the freshest markets in Port Douglas, where the early fishermen would unload their nets to fill crates after crates with scallops, oysters and lobsters of varying kinds. Harry was well-known around these parts; heck, he was well known everywhere in Port Douglas.
It must be the fact that he was nice to everyone, nodding to everyone who recognized him, stopping to talk to elderly women who often came down here with the same intentions - "Raymond's caught the biggest lobsters, i hear, 'arry, my boy", one of the ladies would say, and Harry would bow his head and say thanks and walk towards the aforementioned shop.
Or maybe it was just the fact that he was a demure, polite and an exceedingly private man. For someone who was well known, privacy was hard to keep, but Harry seemed to do it like flowing fluid. He talked to everyone and kept a keen ear for their problems, while sharing none of his own.
Yet, not even he could keep everything about his life a secret.
"Oi," a man smoking a cigarette raised his hand in recognition. Harry clutched his paper bag full of radishes and scallops and that big lobster Mrs. Morrison had mentioned before closer to himself, as he waved back.
"How's the morn'n?" Harry asked with a light smile.
"Fine, bloody fine, matey. Fancy a smoke?"
"I quit, Rogers" Harry replied. His smile was fixed in his eyes.
"Oh, I keep forgetting. Ever since - oh."
But Harry only smiled wider and gentler.
"Its been two years since my divorce, Rogers, no need making that apologetic face."
"Gosh, don't know how you quit after. If anything, i started smoking more after mine."
Harry laughed. Rogers waved the hand holding his cigarette in goodbye, the conversation having become too awkward to continue, while the other man proceeded on towards his house.
Everybody liked Harry. He was thirty-five now, not young but not old either. He maintained a flat torso, curtsy to a strict fitness regime and an organic, healthy diet. He remembered a time when he didn't need a fitness program or a diet plan to look good, and with a regrettable sigh he held his bag of goodies firmly. He had become older, there were wrinkles at the edge of his eyes, not crinkles. His eyebrows had drooped lower than he remembered, and he kept his hair cut short not because he liked it that way, but because he couldn't hope to grow it as long as his college days anymore. Still, all in all, he had only grown more handsome with the years, albeit with the necessary hard work to keep it that way.
Everybody liked Harry. Maybe not his ex, but that did not matter anymore. Harry didn't require constant reminders of "past is now past"; he didn't look back and think of all the beautiful years with his wife (partly because there weren't many of those); he didn't sit in regret, thinking about "what ifs". He moved on. Instead of asking himself "why me?", he carried on and asked "what's next?"
Everybody liked Harry. How could you not? He was a man, living as a man should, with head held high despite what life threw his way, dedicating himself to his work - a small restaurant near the Northern beaches, where he was a respected sous chef. But today, his shift began later in the night, for he liked to keep Sunday mornings for silent retrospection.
In another part of town, Jamie was wearing sober Church clothes, as she hid her hungover eyes in the shade of the black wide-brimmed hat. Jamie's family flocked to Church every Sunday; it was an important part of Jamie's upbringing.
Jamie shifted in her wooden seat. In the distance, she noticed a boy looking in her direction, and she recognized the hook shaped scar beside his right eye. Evans. But as soon as he realized their eyes had met, he quickly turned away. Jamie turned back too and tried to listen to her mother's constant tirade of murmured ranting (she had sill not had her fill of her daughter's rebellious phase and her partying all through the night), until finally the Father began his sermon, and there was quiet all around. He said:
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."
When it was all said and done, everyone stood outside the white walls of the Church. Jamie stood by, waiting for her father to drive the car around, while her mother talked to a friend of hers. Only snippets of their conversation reached Jamie's ears:
"Why, Lorrie? I do not know what to say about her."
"Shhh" Jamie's mother forewarned. The other woman lowered her voice and part of what she said was lost, until she raised her voice again,
" ... the sins of her! Like a common whore, she sleeps with other men. She is not married, i say, never once!"
"Not that age and day anymore. There used to be Belief in young girls in our time."
"Oh there still is. Look at your daughter - Jamie is such a fine example of a young woman!"
Jamie shut everything else out.
Later, in the car.
"Dad?" Jaime said, "Drop me off at Mr. Harry's."
"Oh, you are working today, dear? I was hoping we could grab some lunch -"
But Jaime shook her head.
"I can't dad, I was supposed to finish the composting in his greenhouse yesterday."
"Ah, well, let me gather some waste produce from the farm."
Jaime muttered her thanks. Harry had the biggest greenhouse in all of Port Douglas, and Jaime was working there for the summer, just the odd everyday gardening work. It had already been two months since she started part-timing there. It was a bit of extra money, and a lot of fun watching all the different ingredients he grew at home. Moreover it gave her an opportunity to click pictures of the plants and the insects that dwell there.
So every Sunday, as had been her schedule for the last couple of months, Jamie put on her protective gloves and her high boots and marched inside the greenhouse with determination etched on her face. An hour and half spent knees-sunk in black soil, and gathering all the bio-waste into the pit that was the compost had its own therapeutic relief, Jamie kept telling herself, even as she angrily shoved the waste in.
Jaime is such a fine example of a young woman. She didn't know why that comment bothered her so, but it did, and all she could think was: i don't want to be your example.
Harry suddenly entered the greenhouse, carrying a shovel and a small sapling in his two hands.
"Oh, Jaime, you are already here?"
She pulled her cap off to reveal sweaty red hair, and looked at Harry askew.
"I am always here on Sundays, aren't i?"
Harry nodded absentmindedly. He set the sapling and the tool on the nearest table and squatted next to Jaime.
"Where's your camera?"
Jaime shrugged offhandedly. Harry looked at her for sometime.
"Never seen you without your camera before, that's all."
"Well, now you have seen it all." Jaime replied acidly. Why in God's name was everyone annoying her today?
"Here," Harry said, ignoring her effectively, and reaching into his pockets.
He handed her an envelope.
"What's this?" Jaime asked. Birds chirped happily outside.
"An invitation. I'm getting married again."
Harry's eyes crinkled into a smile. Jaime took the envelope without congratulating him.
Several hours later, Jaime was walking down the usual path that led to her home. She was deep into her thoughts, wondering who could possibly be Harry's bride? Some southerner, no doubt. But how could he suddenly make the announcement like that, just like that, out of nowhere? No one had even known Harry was dating someone, let alone be engaged. It all angered Jaime, the secrecy of it all. Were all men like this? But then again, Harry was twice her age, and just because she had a crush on him didn't necessarily mean he had to show any sign of affection towards her. Still, it angered her that he had shown signs of affection - only for someone else.
But then her train of thoughts was halted almost immediately, as she sensed a presence behind her. Turning to look, she found Evans staring back at her.
Jaime took a step backwards, and Evans did not fail to notice that.
"I..." he began, "I wasn't following you."
Jaime noticed the look in his eyes, and realized her reaction, although precautionary, was unwarranted.
"What were you doing then?"
"I mean, i was following you... but not in that creepy sense. Shit, i hope i didn't creep you out."
Evans had a genuinely apologetic look etched on his face. In the spur of the moment, Jaime decided something.
"Walk me home."
Delighted, Evans fell in step with her.
"Is it true? That Melisa called the cops on you?"
"For stalking, yeah. Her brother gave me this scar too."
Jaime looked at him, again unsure whether her decision was safe.
"It was a misunderstanding," Evans continued, "We had been dating for sometime, and then she cheated on me, and i ... i just wanted her back, you know? i didn't mean to harass her, but i wasn't thinking straight. I kept asking her to let me speak to her once, face to face, and she just wouldn't let me. I loved her, and i shouldn't have."
Jaime believed him.
"So, well, my reputation is all gone to shit now, everyone thinks i'm some crazy."
"You did stalk me just now," Jaime said, trying to make a point.
"actually, no. I was passing by, and you happened to be there. I was walking behind you trying to gather up courage to talk to you. Wasn't stalking. I'm not some weird creepo, despite what people think."
Jaime thought Evans was definitely a creepo, and he was definitely stalking her, but decided to keep that to herself.
"Yesterday," he continued, "before your friend rudely interrupted me, i was waiting for your answer. I had asked you out. So?"
"So what?"
"So what's your answer?" He couldn't keep a hint of exasperation from his voice.
Jaime surveyed him for a second, before answering:
"No."
And she saw the black-haired boy slowly deflate.
"Yeah, i thought as much." He was looking down. For some reason, he seemed dangerous now.
"Why?" he asked in a low voice.
Jaime decided to answer this question in her own way.
"Are you religious, Evans?"
He looked up, confused and angry.
"Are you mocking me, or our God?"
So he was religious alright. That was good to know, Jaime thought.
"Well, Evans, you seem like such a nice guy but the thing is - we are both raised in Catholic families, and i couldn't do this to you."
Now Evans looked just confused.
"Why? Do what to me?"
Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.
"I can't make you date me. I am getting an abortion next week. Please keep it a secret." Jamie answered.
Evans looked horrified, even as he promised to not tell this to anyone and left.
***
The loud booming laughter of Curtis filled his car the next morning once again.
"you told him what?" he asked her incredulously.
Jamie did not share his laughter, but she smiled in a sheepish way.
"that I was getting an abortion. Next week."
"and he believed that? What a fag!"
"thank God that creep believed that," Jamie said, "he was actually stalking me. Can't believe you were right about him."
Curtis pushed his wavy blonde hair behind his eyes.
"how did you know that would work, James?"
"All Catholics flip out about the idea of an abortion. Evans is just like me mum, and me dad. He wouldn't touch me if he thought that... You know. I was getting one."
"smart. What if he tells this to other people?"
"he won't." Jamie replied with surety.
Curtis bored his grey-green eyes into hers, but then satisfied he leaned back in his seat.
"shit that happens to you, james." he was shaking his head.
Jamie smiled a soft smile, ruffling her red short hair. Curt had this effect on her - her frustration and her feeling of uselessness died in his presence. True friends were rare, Jamie had only just begun to realise.
"oh, devils!" Curt exclaimed suddenly, his eyes looking outside the window to spot a tall girl walking towards the car. Her long straight black hair flowed behind her like a haunting veil, and her long legs covered in denims stretched beneath her like skyscrapers. Sarah was stunning, like a model, and Curt's girlfriend.
When she approached, Curt lowered his window and grinned.
"Waddup, beauty, care for a ride?" he said in his best lecher-like imitation. Jamie noted it came easily to him.
"Oh shut up, Curtis." Sarah laughed flirtaciously in a sing-song voice. Jamie felt a sudden stab of envy as she watched them kiss - she wondered whether Harry would ever kiss her like that once he is married to someone else.
Sarah meanwhile noticed the presence of the daydreaming Jamie beside her boyfriend.
"hey, Jamie" she said cordially.
The three of them hung out together at times, but it had always been awkward and understandably so. Jamie always felt like the third wheel in their company and while Sarah never made it obvious she didn't want Jamie to be there, the tension from her was still palpable. And Curt? Well both girls would agree he was a dork and hence oblivious to anything around him.
"hey, Sarah." Jamie said, breaking out of her reverie.
"I have been meaning to ask you, James" Curt started, as he pushed some papers and his bag around so as to make space for Sarah.
"What's up with you? Where is your camera?"
A flash of annoyance hit Jamie as she turned violently towards Curt.
"what's that got to do with you, arse?"
"whoa, girl, get a grip -" Sarah began, but Curtis spoke right over her.
"it's got everything to do with me. I like my photos taken. So where is your camera?"
Jamie glared at Curt, and he lazily stared back. Finally, the red head deflated even as the other girl looked on, unable to participate in this conversation of the eyes.
"I dunno, man, it's just a camera."
Jamie broke eye contact now.
"it's photography, James. It's an art form."
"Well," Jamie replied angrily, "maybe i'm not interested in art forms."
"That's not true."
It annoyed Sarah that Curt seemed to know what Jamie was interested in, even if Jamie didn't.
"look, Curt," Jamie's voice was heated, "all my life I have been taking photographs. I used to love it, but where is it going to take me? Maybe I just want to be a normal girl for a change."
Sarah, through her jealousy, thought Jamie meant that to be her when she said she wanted to be a normal girl. Sarah thought smugly, well so you want to be me, huh, Jamie? I am sorry, you can't have Curtis.
"But you aren't a normal girl, James? Why would you want to be? You are unique."
Curtis' words were like bile to Sarah. Jamie just looked out the window.
Not knowing what to do, the model-like girl changed the subject.
"Hey, let's go to the Riverside Bistro. Everything's half-price there today - their sous chef is getting married or something."
"What, Harry? Jamie here always gets to eat there for free, don't you?" Curtis was thoroughly enjoying himself now, smiling devilishly.
"Bug off." Jamie said, throwing the door wide open as she got off and walked away.
"What's with her?" Sarah asked behind her retreating back. Curt only chuckled in reply.
And then the next few days, people in Port Douglas lived their lives the way they always did. Early mornings all the markets would open, with today's fresh stock of sea-fish, and Harry would be seen being congratulated by a bunch of passersby. He would be carrying a brown bag full of groceries and meat, as usual. The sea would throw waves at the land, and the land would parry back, sending out a bunch of small-boats sailing against the wind. The mid-day sun was harsh, and men and women alike would enjoy it, shirtless down at the beach. In some secluded beaches, the sun would find the beautiful couple, Curt and Sarah, playing like little young children with the waves. As the evening rays of the sun would find Harry's greenhouse, the only difference would be that Jamie wouldn't be seen exiting from the house, in her dirt stained boots and soiled overalls. In fact, Jamie wasn't seen at all, not by Harry, or Curtis, or Sarah or even Evans.
Port Douglas ran on, though, without a care for the absentee photographer in its midst. Curtis was the only one who showed up at her farm, demanding to see her, but even he found that he would always end up having missed her only moments earlier. This wouldn't have been a strange behaviour; not for Jamie, of course, who was head strong and stubborn and liked roaming around taking pictures. But Curtis found, in one of those visits to Jaime's house being told she wasn't in, that her camera was just hanging there, by the door, like a common umbrella. He surmised, finally, that Jamie did not want to see anyone, and let her be.
And so time went on, until it was Sunday, a full week having passed by.
A young girl was walking in a little less known and less friendly alley of Port Douglas. She was covered head to toe, wearing her Church clothes as she stepped over a puddle carefully and stood in front of a building.
A young blonde man was sitting on the steps that led to the building, smoking a cigarette calmly. Once Curt recognised Jamie, he instantly stood up and grabbed her arm, leading her away. Jamie was too shell-shocked to protest.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing?"
Curt's voice was low, almost a whisper. Jamie knew that meant he was furious and decided to handle it as cautiously as she could.
"how did you know?"
Curt snickered cruelly.
"how did I know? James, there hasn't been a day since we were seven that you and me haven't hung out together. Not a day! And now I haven't seen you for a week - what the fuck Jamie? Why didn't you tell me?"
Jamie looked down, silent. How could she have told anyone? It all happened so suddenly. She felt tears rising to her eyes and suppressed them. She could not afford to cry in front of him.
"I thought there was something odd about the whole incident with Evans." Curtis continued angrily, "You telling him you are getting an abortion in a week just to stop him following you around? Preposterous. The Jamie I know would never lie like that. She would have told him straight to the face what you said last to me. 'Bug off'
"But you didn't. How could you be so stupid, James, you are the smart one among us. And you told me you were getting an abortion in a week? You made me think that was a fucking joke? Are you mad? Of course I wouldn't take something like that as a joke; never, if it comes from you.
"I hoped it would be only a joke though. I swear I hoped so much. I didn't know, but I decided to wait here anyways. If you didn't show up, well and good, I would have rested peacefully. But you did."
The sign on the building above their heads read "Centre for unwanted pregnancies".
And he hugged her. Jamie couldn't stop the tears further. She was strong but not that strong.
"Does 'Arry know?" Curt asked.
Jamie shook her head in denial.
"Harry isn't involved, Curt, he isn't-"
"Please shut up." he said, his eyes glaring into hers, "we all know the only person you would open your legs for is fucking 'arry. God knows what's your infatuation with older men, you never even see guys your age. You don't even look at me that way." Curt looked away.
"Does he know?" he asked again, his eyes not meeting hers.
Jamie bawled now. She was unable to force words out her mouth, but she shook her head, finally.
"Enough. We gotta go talk with Harry. You are not having an abortion today."
"why?" Jamie shouted, despite her crying. "it's my fucking decision. Or are you gonna tell me it's an abomination and against the principles of God?"
"I don't give a fuck about God." he replied calmly. "but abortion is a long process and it will cause many changes in your body. We need to know all the side effects and everything else. We need an adult. Moreover, he is the father. He has a right to know."
Jamie couldn't say anything. She knew he was right. She hugged him close.
"The shit that happens to you, James. The shit that happens to you." Curt said, stroking her hair lovingly.
***
"Could I talk to you for a second?"
Sarah had shown up in Jamie's farm one morning. The incident that had happened in that alley hadn't been talked about by either Jamie or Curtis, both obviously choosing to keep it a secret from other people. Yet, Jamie wondered whether Curt considered his girlfriend "other people".
"Sure", Jamie blinked, taking her out near the horses. The stench was very real, but it wasn't too offensive. Well, at least not to Jamie, but the other girl pressed a hand close to her nose.
"So what do you want to talk about?", Jamie asked.
"Curtis."
Sarah looked at Jamie with intensity in her eyes. The farm girl tried not to laugh; the mere thought of fighting over a boy was such a cliche, and the fact that Sarah was totally serious about it, in the light of what was going on with Jamie seemed so... Hilarious.
"Okay," Jamie said slowly. "what's up?"
"look, me and Curtis, we are really getting serious now. You have known Curtis all your life, so maybe you can even tell."
Yeah, Jamie knew Curtis was as interested in Sarah as an obese American was in a cheeseburger. Mighty serious.
"yeah I can tell" she replied diplomatically.
"so recently I have started feeling..." Sarah said this slowly and stopped for a dramatic effect. Jamie found her insistence was needed.
"feeling...what?"
"Look it might come as a bit of a shock to you, but I think somehow you are holding him back. From being more serious with me."
Sarah placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Jamie now had to fight the urge to puke.
"look man, take it up with Curt. You want me to give you guys space? Sure have it. I wasn't really ever between you two, just to make things clear."
Sarah's eyes held rage, which she sweetened over, like sugar cubes in bitter coffee.
"I understand. It's just, lately you guys have been hanging around too much..."
Jamie just shrugged.
"we are friends, man."
Sarah left after that. Jamie hadn't ever hated that girl before, but now she did. Sarah was just so dense, so utterly stupid, that Jamie found it shocking that she was the one pregnant between the two of them.
But it was true that Jamie and Curtis hung out more than usual. They would read books on what a woman undergoing abortion should expect and try contacting Harry, but that was becoming increasingly hard to do - the closer his wedding day arrived, the busier he seemed to get.
Spending time in Curtis' car, laying on her back, and pondering through various sites on her phone, Jamie realised she was looking through baby garments. She turned to look at Curt, sitting beside her.
"hey,"
"hmm?" he asked without looking up.
"I will be eighteen in a month."
Curt looked at her.
"yes?" he asked curiously.
"I could just raise the child on my own. A single mother. I mean, it would be helluva cute baby..."
"you wouldn't be a single mum, if you decided to raise it." Curt said, almost a whisper.
But Jamie turned on her back again. It was nice of Curt to say all this, and it made her heart tear listening to it, but she had already made a stupid mistake. She wasn't going to make another. Besides, she wouldn't know how to raise a child. They would have no money for it. Nah, the world was too harsh and too real for the two of them.
"you still have the money for abortion, right? I could work a bit extra, help you out with some cash" Curt was saying now
"I won the Letterman Photography contest. Got some money saved from that. Should be fine."
But Curt knew "should be" wasn't "would be" and next morning he spent talking with the manager of Cinepolis theatres for a job.
Meanwhile, time had flown so that Jamie was now two months pregnant. It wouldn't show for another month, she knew, but she was getting worried. She needed to talk to Harry as soon as possible, before he got married.
One morning, when Harry was crossing a street with hands full of cans of frozen food, he found Jamie waiting for him beside his car.
"Hey, Jamie" Harry smiled to her.
"We need to talk Harry."
So they both headed to his house, where she was treated to some tea.
"your fiancé?"
"She is at her mum's." he added some sugar to his perfectly orange tea.
"look," he said, "I would appreciate it if we don't talk about what happened. It was just that one night, and I shouldn't have done it. I feel like I took advantage of you and -"
"I am pregnant, Harry."
He set his teacup on the table. He didn't seem to be able to move his lips. He didn't know what to say.
"Look, Harry, it's fine. M not asking for anything. I just wanted you to know. I will get an abortion soon."
"No."
Jamie looked at him.
"there is only one clinic in Port Douglas. People know me there. It wouldn't be nice..."
"for what?" Jamie felt her temper rise up. "for your fucking reputation? To hell with you!"
"Sit. Please. Sit down." Jamie hadn't realised that she had stood up.
"there are many complications, Jaime. I am going to call off my wedding, first thing. This matter needs to be fixed first."
Jamie sat. How could he be so rationally evaluating all the steps he needed to take? Grudgingly she felt respect for the man, and even more grudgingly, love.
"No abortions. We are all Catholic, and it reflects poorly on our souls if I let you do this. We will marry as soon as possible.
"Just give me some time to think about this."
His reasoning seemed completely bonkers; on the other hand, had Jamie heard him correctly? He was going to marry her? She felt butterflies in her stomach; the same ones she had felt when she had decided to have sex with him.
"I am turning 18 in a week. I guess we could marry then?", Jamie was saying.
***
"you are marrying him?"
Jamie nodded, trying to keep the elation from escaping her face. Curt didn't know what to say. So no abortion, no need for money, no need to run away with her. He had never dreamt of it, he would never let himself raise such hopes, but now that he knew it wasn't going to happen, he felt the sadness of it anyway. Alas, he would have actually run away with her, and they would have been happy. But he supposed that wasn't meant to be.
"what about his fiance?" Curtis asked.
"he is calling off the wedding."
"oh"
There was silence.
"So," Curt said, finally done and broken, "what do you need me for now?"
"Curt?" she asked. When he remained silent, she laughed presuming it to be some kind of joke.
"All my life I loved you." Curtis said, effectively ending her laugh.
"All my fucking life. I thought there would be a time when you would come around, when you would love me back. Now I know it's never gonna happen."
And he kissed her, fiercely, violently, passionately. He kissed her like the rush of the river, like the force of a hammer, like the vacuum of space. He kissed her like a nostalgic song playing in your ears, and she pulled back.
"that was just a memory - for me. Like one of your pictures, no? I am done with you Jamie. Goodbye"
And saying thus, Curtis walked away.
***
Sarah was waiting outside Jamie's house. When she walked up the stairs to her, Sarah did not wait for a second before slapping her, full across the face.
"How dare you! Whore! You think I don't know what you fucking do with my boyfriend!"
Jamie should have known Sarah was a psycho. Evans had been her stalker, and Sarah was Curt's. He doesn't want to see me again.
"I didn't kiss him. He kissed me" Jamie said truthfully.
At that moment, it was like Sarah lost it. Without thinking about it, she pushed Jamie, as she fell down the flight of stairs. She felt a pressure on her belly and she started crying and wailing loudly, without a stop. Hot tears trickled down her cheeks, and though it didn't hurt one bit, she knew the damage had been done. Her tears wouldn't stop.
She fainted from sheer shock.
***
When she woke up in the hospital, only her mother and father were there beside her bed.
"you were with child?" her mother asked her stonily.
"Did Harry come here?" Jamie pleaded.
Her mother stood up, and slapped Jamie across the face. It hurt her considerably more than Sarah's hit, and not because of the impact. She noticed the Bible in her mother's hands and noticed how her father made no move to defend her.
"you have disgraced our family name", was all he said, "come morning everyone would know of my daughter, the whore."
Her mother spat on the floor.
Jamie didn't cry anymore, even after they had left for a long time.
She stayed in the hospital for a long time, waiting for Harry to come. The nurses took pity on her, and let her stay for another night.
The next morning was Jamie's birthday. Harry had still not shown up. What could be keeping him?
It was later in the afternoon when she heard two nurses talking.
"Gosh, where is Joyce? She is in charge of all this mess."
"oh she took a leave. Attending 'arry's wedding, if I'm not wrong."
So Harry had preponed his wedding to happen on her b'day. How fitting. The nurses could hear Jamie laughing maniacally and they hurried out of the room.
It was later at night when Curtis entered.
"sorry, wanted to come earlier. Sarah was making things harder."
He looked at her sorry state.
"Shit that happens to you, Jamie" he said, shaking his head in a familiar way and carefully plopping her camera next to her.
It was then when she cried.
***
Five years later in Sydney
"Oi get your hand off, let me see the picture."
"na,na,na" Curt sang, running away from her as she chased after him.
"Curt!" Jamie admonished.
Finally, he laughed and handed her the photograph.
It was a sonogram of a healthy little child.
***