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Illustration by @_ximena.arias

The unprecedented event

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The loud and somewhat unanticipated wailing of siren at the middle of the night was indeed spine chilling. There had been an attempt of burglary in the neighbourhood but the police had successfully arrested the culprit. Apparently the culprit worked for the local circus. Here's what had happened.

Lavender Heights was a quiet locality apart from the few reports of burglaries in the past month. But it was no surprise since it was a posh area comprising the rich households. Mr. and Mrs. Hall had just shifted to the neighbourhood. The winter was especially brutal this time of the year. Mr. Hall who was a pilot had to leave early next morning for a flight. And although feeling exhausted and yearning for a nice warm slumber Mrs. Hall had to start unpacking the furniture. Much of the day passed in unpacking the essentials of the bedroom. In the evening Mrs. Hall started working in the living room . Suddenly there was a loud noise from her bedroom. Upon checking she found out that the flower vase on the table had fallen down and shattered into pieces. She quickly cleaned it up and resumed her work.

Unfortunately they did not have enough time to fix all the electrical appliances and the living room only had a dim light bulb. She started to feel a bit scared but did not pay much attention to it. After unpacking the huge sofa set she looked up with a sense of satisfaction and suddenly it seemed like something moved in front of her. She switched on the flash light but there was nothing just the sofa set, the half unpacked lamp shed, the clown statue and a large number of unpacked boxes. Realising a lot of work was left she decided that it was just her hallucination. However she kept feeling uneasy. It seemed like someone else was there in the room. Perhaps the result of watching too many ghost movies.

After an hour or so she went to bed for her much awaited slumber. Within a few minutes she heard a thud from outside. A chill ran down her spine. She picked up her phone from the side table and called her husband. Mrs. Hall quickly told him about the thud and that she felt that there was someone in the house, watching her. Mr. Hall however counselled her by saying it was all a figment of her imagination. Mrs. Hall was not convinced. She told him that the clown statue especially was freaking her out and no sooner than she mentioned the statue she realised that they never owned a statue.


2 Launchers recommend this story
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launchora_imgAK 47
4 years ago
ok...I've analyzed this ad the only thing I have to say that is try sticking to one tense more often...you change paragraphs perfectly which most forget to do, you have a good, convincing and intriguing plot... I love it
launchora_imgAK 47
4 years ago
what mean to say is usually in the third person people usually resort to the past tense because it adds a sense of build up in the story and makes it more authentic ..I'm not saying that the use of present tense is not preferable, because it makes us more intimate with the character, but then I wanted you to use it throughout as if she is narrating the story herself in third person... it feels like you are narrating it...I have no other complain... I love the plot and I love the build up anyway its just a point I always like to keep in mind so I'm extending it to you
Thank you so much for spending your time and analysing my story...... As I have said before your opinion means a lot..... Will surely keep this in mind next time. Thanks again.
launchora_imgAK 47
4 years ago
damn I just read my own opinions and I realised one thing: I loved to text things so much that my fingers hurt. I loved to talk this much...I went on and on... you have some patience for making it through the whole thing!
launchora_imgAK 47
4 years ago
??
launchora_imgAK 47
4 years ago
I typed a scary lot of words
? that's all right I am in love with talking/texting a lot too
launchora_imglavender writes
4 years ago
really interesting! try using some more adjective and try add little paragraphs explaining important events! but overall amazing! good job! check out my works too, if you want.
Okay..... thanks for the suggestion
launchora_imgAmiable !
4 years ago
interesting plot?, check out my works too if possible
Thanks.... Will surely check out yours
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The unprecedented event

85 Launches

Part of the MyPlotTwist collection

Updated on February 25, 2020

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