The Wait. . .

Until yesterday, my mind was housing a plethora of emotions, which I could not identify. However today for the first time a flash of positive feeling ran across through the bazaar of those emotions. A gleam of hope, to be precise. And this feeling didn’t arose without any basis, it has a very solid and valid reason. What I realized was that my last ever mail to him spoke in length about how he has always trusted my intuition and gut feeling and the decisions that I’ve taken on the basis of that. I had asked him to trust me on this one thing when I said that I would want to wait for him. I did tell him that my decision to wait for him was solely my own and not imposed on me by him. Well, after saying all this (on mail), he did not reply. No reply at all – neither negative nor positive. So I suppose he does believe that waiting for him to be back would be worth it and that deep down in his heart, he secretly wishes that I do wait for him.

Another reason to believe in our relationship is because of the things he has said to me, done for me. Who takes the girl for a long drive on the very first date, and then confesses how much he appreciates my company, and also my navigation! He asked me to wait an hour more, when time came for me to leave for home. He has said that cooking for someone is the ultimate for him in a relationship, and couple of days before parting ways he himself confessed his wish to cook something for me the next time I visit him. He has also said that he would love to introduce me to his mother, and that we would immediately get along well. My bindi, apparently he has safely kept my bindi which I dropped at his place, as a souvenir. He loved my fragrance and used to hold onto the hoodie I used when I was out with him on a chilly night, even after a couple of days, just for that memory.

These are small gestures from his side that has helped me find that ray of hope for our relationship. I do get flashes of how curtly and rudely he deleted me from his life, but his actions towards me says otherwise. I know exactly what he feels about me, and now, I wait for him to express that!