"Let me know when you really miss me"
His words were like tormenting me the moment I heard them. He left me dazed with a hollow fight with the inner me. That was the story from 6 years back when he entered my space for the very first time and later planned on residing here forever. He meant what he said, he even did when he said he loves me, the thing which didn't make sense was when I reciprocated it saying "I love you too"
My verbals didn't match my feelings on the first go, so was the reason why we didn't compliment each other a way too well like most of those who planned to be in love. Don't blame me, blame on my not so matured mind which wanted to know what being in a relationship meant. Little did I know we were already in a bond where he loved me with everything he had and I just went on feigning it. I assured him that I loved him too but that was where I lacked behind. He came to know what I tried to disguise. He knew I was just on a trial and error method to win my own heart. He knew I was forcing myself to fall for him,
"Do you really love me?" he would ask often.
Being the perfect storyteller I assure him yet again about how I felt about him. He seemed convinced to me but deep down he knew what was the reason I never allowed him to be closer.
"Let us be together this way forever"
He said that often but it was always me who ended up annoyed at the very thought of faking something all my life. I was in a dilemma. I ended up compromising my feelings, in the long run, this time. I ended up assuring me that there will be surely a time when I will fall for this guy who makes me feel this special. The one who can make me his queen for the entire life. The one who values what I say even if the world turns deaf to my tales. He was the one who tolerated all my nuisance. He was ready to be there through fire and ice and maybe all these finally brought me to a stage when I started feeling what he someday felt alone.
6 years was something long that we spent together. It took time yet it was something to cherish. He is the same even now. I am no longer the same though. I fell for him unknowingly, without expectations. The things that annoyed me started making sense this time. I guess I was able to see my world through his eyes. He was able to make me his completely. I was dazed in love.
Not that it was easy. We faced hurdles on the way. Walked on fire. Made efforts to make us work, and that was how we made out to be together at the end.
However even if I travel back in time I won't erase those harsh memories, because those scars made our bond this beautiful to look at. Their existence make the us we are at present day, even the moon seems amaranthine with those spots, did it ever try to erase them to look flawless? If not why should I try erasing those scars that made us come out this strong that there ain't a space to think of a third person ruining us?
-Shina_AB