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To My Future

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To the man I'm going to meet someday... somewhere...

I am the seventeen year old version of the woman probably sitting next to you or something. 

I am the broken girl whom you probably fixed. Probably. I don't know yet.

I am the discouraged girl whom you dragged out of negativity and brought something I have stopped believing in. Love.

I am the secretive girl who keeps whatever is hurting her deep inside. Never letting anyone know that she's in pain because of the fake smile plastered on her face. I am that girl whom you healed, probably without even knowing it.

I am the depressed girl who loves gray. The color that depicts the life of someone barely existing. I am that girl whom you introduced to red, the color of love.

I am the anxious girl who is afraid of tomorrow and what it may bring. You held my hand and gave me the courage that I need to step into another day without fear because you never made me feel alone.

I am the suicidal girl who has cut herself lots of times, tried to jump off a building, and stopped eating. I wasn't alive. I just existed. But you... You gave me a new sense of hope. The one that would keep these suicidal thoughts of mine back.

This is me, love. 

This WAS me before you came.

No, you didn't change me. It was I who changed me.

I wanted to be someone you deserve. Yes, I might be damaged but I can still be fixed and I have done that since the first day we met. I learned how to fix myself and it was all because of you. 

All those little things that you did to make me smile and happy had a huge effect on me. Whenever you touched my hand, I felt energized. Like I can take on everything that is ahead of me. Whenever you hugged me, I felt safe and secure. Like there is no other safer place in this cruel world than right here in your arms.

I was broken, love. But you filled me up. You showered me with great love and joy. You made me want to be stronger so that when we both face hardships, it won't only be you who's going to fight it off. I want us to both fight. To fight together and reach the end of the tunnel without any regrets.

You made me want to be a lot more braver so that when time comes, you wouldn't have to think that if something fails, it would be your fault. We're gonna do things together now.

I am not the most perfect nor kind person in the world and absolutely done nothing to deserve you...

But I'm glad you came.

I'm glad you stayed.

I'm glad you loved me as I am.

Thank you for showing me the kind of woman I want to be.


I am that woman now.

I love you.


Sincerely,

the seventeen year old self of the woman who is unconditionally, irrevocably and without doubt, in love with you.


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To My Future

24 Launches

Part of the Love collection

Published on January 29, 2017

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