I never feared the night because you are there shining and giving light to my path. But such light can not be claimed for myself no matter how strong I desire for it. Like how I can not have you despite how much I really wanted to. I am selfish, greedy and envious yet all those unwanted feelings I can't throw so it piles up like the falling leaves from a tree, like the books I stock in my shelves.
I want you. I love you. If I could just scream these words to the world for you to hear. If I could just offer this loudly beating heart like a ticking bomb waiting to explode to you. If I could just be with you by your side yet I can't.
What hurts more than this unrequited love is the unsaid one. Loving from afar though the distance is just a stone throw away. So painful as if I am being eaten alive. How could be this hurtful feelings could be called love? Why can't you just love me back?
I had love the darkness so much that I could remain awake at night just to see the moon. Like how I love to be in the same place where you are, to breathe the same air you are breathing. Yet the more I deeply fell for you, the more this hatred started to grow. No I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I could hate the world but I know I can't hate you. I love you so much. So much that living knowing that I can't have you means like dying and it seems breathing is now hard for me to do. And I think I had it enough. I love you yet I have love myself too. I had to love myself more than how I love you so. Then I realize, the moon wasn't you. The moon that always give light every night. The moon that was lost among the sea of stars. The moon that is neglected once dawn arrives. And the moon that could only reflect the light coming from the sun which is you. Yes, the moon wasn't you. It was me all along.