To the One that got away

The night was getting colder as I stood there, watching you sleep like I always do. You have the face of an angel and just standing there, made me realize that you have not changed that much. You are beautiful as ever. And in that instant, I felt the pain slowly knocking in my chest. I used to watch you closely as you sleep but there I was, watching silently, I was three steps away from you.

And in that three steps, I knew. I was losing you.

At seventeen, I had no definition of love at all. I was like a virgin. I have never been touched by it. I was in and out of relationships but I never had any butterflies in my stomach and never heard that drum-like roll in my chest.

But there you were, dressed in pink and fitted jeans, my world suddenly stopped. Your long, brown hair matched your big brown eyes. I was motionless, I just looked at you. Everything was in slow motion just like in the movies. I was sweating, and for the first time I heard my heart pounding. Like a drum. Like a thousand drums.

I knew right there and then, it was love.

And the first time I held your hand, I knew that butterflies in stomach are real. You had a book with you because you lied about a group study so you could watch a movie with me. Butterflies in my stomach, I reached for your left hand without looking at you. You did not flinch. You looked at me with surprised eyes, and I just smiled. Your hand was cold, so I held it tighter. I knew, you had butterflies too.

We were together for years. I watched men look at us with great envy and regrets. Who could blame them? You were popular. You were the darling of the crowd. Everyone wants you.  But you chose me. Over and above everyone else. Even when we start to grow apart when I started working. Our distance and issues made us forget the butterflies in our stomach. We were separated for a year. But the butteflies must have brought us together again. And I never wanted to lose you anymore.

That one night, when I held a ring in my hand and I asked if you would marry me. You said yes, I could not be more happy. We spent many  days and nights together. You would fall asleep in my arms and I would wrap you in a warm embrace. The breakfast in bed, the coffee and kisses between conversations and the playful moods. I was sure you were the one. I was sure it was forever.

But there I was, looking at you while you sleep. We had a fight. It was Valentine's Day. I had butterflies in my stomach, and the drum like roll in my chest. I am sure it was love.

But I also knew I was losing you.