Some say that I am stupid enough to cry over a spilled milk. They said that when it's done, it should be done. No turning back and no turning around. But, how can I cry over it if the milk in the glass is pouring in the glass over and over again and it is spilling repeatedly?
No one ever told me that love will really hurt me this way. The pain is killing me everyday. And, the one who got away didn't even care if I still have the pain. To that man, you should know this. You break my heart like there is no tomorrow. You left me hanging in a tree where the ground is surrounded by despicable monsters who wants to eat me right away. You left me in a big blue sea where the sharks are big enough to swallow me completely. You made my cute fancy world a dark and stormy one. You let me go even though I still want to hold on and stay with you. You are a jackass jerk covered by your innocent and nice personality. Clearly, no one knows the true you.
If I know that you will break my heart someday, I will never let you be part of my life. But, I did it... I'm the type of person who always jumps in conclusions whenever I'm encountering something new. But, I never imagined that one day you will never be true. You will never ever meet my conclusions that I dreamed not just for me, but for us too. I thought that you will love me back like how I love you. I almost gave you everything. I have sacrificed my sleep just to message you everyday and help you with some of your projects and assignments. I also sacrificed my time to be with you whenever you needed me. I did it all because I love you. Sadly, you didn't love me.
What a kind of fool I am! Of course, how can you love me back... if in the first place, you never really show your interest to me? I am just nobody and no one to you perhaps. But you - you are not no one to me. You are my everything.
Expectation is the worst enemy of reality. I expect a lot that I didn't see the real consequences in it. Now, a lot of regrets are showing. It is not about you not loving me back but it is about the times that I should have get rid of you but it is too late. And because I realize a lot of things, this will be my very last message to you:
You may be happy right now but I'm happier without you. I have realized that my life won't always depend on you. Because of you, I have learned how to love myself. I also learned that you are not just the one who loved me. There are so many people around me who deserve my love more than you. It may be wonderful to say that "I once loved you" but it is more wonderful to say that "I'm over you." And with all of this, I can conclude in two years of loving you that I should never expect something that has no assurance. *wink*