I hope you know, I'm still waiting. Though those times may always be interrupted by something or someone, I always end up wondering if I have already met you or not. Or if you're still out there looking, and searching for parts of me in every person that you meet. Are you tired of playing games, too? Don't worry. I am, too.
Have you ever been played with the wrong love that you once thought was right? I have. And I have just realized how much time I've wasted hanging on to him. All those hopes and dreams I imagined with him, all the plans of our wedding, our own house, our children and their names, all those times I felt that he was the right one for me, all those feelings that I've collected to show only to him, all those words of support and undying love that I've said to him, makes me feel sorry. For I should have saved it for you. I shouldn't have let him that close. But then again, how should I know, right? That time, everything felt right. That time, we were so in love. We experienced things that make us think we were going to last til the end. Everything felt right and it was as if we can take up every obstacle that would come between us. But we were wrong. It was only a matter of time for destiny to do its part and put us in different paths. These paths didn't end up as one in the end. So I guess I'll just have to accept that we were only meant to be together for a certain time, but not for the rest of our lives.
Have you ever needed someone for the sake of not being lonely? Sadly, I have. And it always make me feel guilty for using him like that. I told him what I feel and that I can't really return the kind of love he's feeling that time.Though he said he's okay with it, I wanted us to stop. It's not right. And we know it. All those times we spent together made me fall for him, even if I don't want to. I have always been in denial of this because I don't want to tell him. I knew I would only end up hurting him more but I can't let all of him go. Selfish, I know. Because he was there when the realization hit me, when I accepted the fact that the past love is gone. And he's there with me as I get up after the fall. I told him not to help me for I need to do it alone. But everytime I need a company, the comfort of someone, he's there. And I am very much grateful for him because of that. Time went by and he found his love. It hurt me a lot. But I know it's for the best. We knew it's the right choice for the both of us. And that made me one step closer to you.
It's a good thing for reality to finally bitch slap me on the face though. Now I'm back on track. Still hoping that one day we'd meet. And when that day comes I hope there'll be no more distractions. Just you and I, facing the world holding each other's hands. Having each other's backs. And ever so quietly whispering in our minds, "I'm home. At last."
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