To The Person I Once Trused

A true story from a beloved girl:

"Hello, the memories of what you did still lingered my thoughts. It's two in the morning, and you're probably sleeping, while I, am still blaming myself for what just happened to me — it happens every fucking night; "If I hadn't slept that day and trusted you so much, I wouldn't experience that." "If I didn't shut my mouth and defended myself, everyone
would've known." but then, it wasn't the point. You were the person I never knew would commit such an act that would forever break my heart. The way you touched me while I was sleeping on your lap was the day I never thought would ever exist. I couldn't cry, nor could I scream for help because I don't want to ruin you.

When I broke up with you, everybody called me a bad person for making a guy like you cry. But they didn't see what you did — how you disgustingly touch the part I would feel violated, and how you squeeze them with lust. I feel so scared, I feel like a part of me was torn into pieces and I will never have the chance to bring it back the way it should be.

Apart from that, everybody hated me for saving the both of us. I did what was right even if it's so unfair to my part. How could you betray me and say to everyone that I betrayed you? How can you not know what you did and still cry like I am the monster in the story?

I am so disappointed and angry — to the point that I will never forgive you. We will never be friends unless you can change what you did; you will never be able to make up from me by saying sorry, because the scar and the pain throbbing inside of my ribcage beats the same anger each time I see your face.

If everyone knew this, am I still the one to blame?

I was the victim.

But I needed to be kind back then.

And now, I feel like I've done the wrong choice because you've proved me well how much of a bullshit you are.

You know, the day I broke up with you was the day I felt so brave. Three days before it happened I thought of breaking up, because I knew I ruined myself enough and I would feel worse if I stayed. I hated everytime you touch me or say you love me because I know it ain't true.

I hated how everybody say it was my fault but they didn't know the story. It was incomplete but nobody saw the missing pieces. Nobody saw the fear in my eyes because all they can see is your pathetic cries.

I hate you, I hope you understand that what you did was reasonable enough for me to hold a gruge and never forgive."