Illustration by @luciesalgado

Trust Issues

By Melody Mishap

Info

You can think I'm cold,

that I'm antisocial, a pessimist.

But, I'm never going to let my guard down

And I'm sorry, I can't explain this feeling,

This knot in my stomach when you say you love me,

This uneasiness everytime you tell me to believe in you.

This feeling,

It's subtle, with my apprehensions

Always walking atop my blue walls.

This vulnerability has been manifested in the insides of me,

Almost as if, it's intrinsic.

No matter how much you care for me,

No matter how much I want to make believe,

And let this go

There'll always be this uncertainty,

This nagging doubt

at the back of my mind

Pulling me away from you.

But please trust me,

I'm not cold,

I don't 'not' like you,

I've just got some trust issues.

9 Launchers recommend this story

Melody Mishap

32 Stories

169 Followers

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Launchora User

5 years ago

You put this into words. So, so many times I've longed to say this, to make others understand. But somehow I always stuck. This is so damn relatable.

Dawniel Alar

5 years ago

As I was reading this... It's as if I am reading the reflection of my self. THIS IS SO ME. I can relate. I feel you. I really over think things lately. I kept on asking questions about worthiness, faithfulness, and loyalty. I always want to keep my self from negativity of pain, betrayal, and being cheated. But... after all of this... I just always tell my self to be strong. God made me. And I PUT MY HUNDRED PERCENT TRUST TO GOD that no matter happens, it's all for the good. Coz basically, God's plans will always prevail. So if I cannot put my trust to others, then I TRUST GOD FIRST and everything follow. It's just a matter of bravery and taking the risk. Just be prepared for any circumstances that might happen in the future. Coz life as it is, is full of uncertainties.

Melody Mishap

5 years ago

feels so good to know how you feel, and I can literally feel your words up there, and last lines do tell me a lot, God is someone I too should put my trust in:)

Launchora User

6 years ago

Well, I guess it's all about upbringing. what I learned over the years is we were actually never taught about trusting and how important it is and these things are specially for dysfunctional families and that's why their kids are most insecure and find it hard to trust.

Melody Mishap

6 years ago

Yeah, that's a point psychologist proven so totally agreed, but the thing is, we as aware people should not make things worse for people having trust issues, I've seen friends, close friends breaking because one couldn't cope through the insecurities of the other. This should not happen.

Launchora User

6 years ago

Well, I guess it's not about coping up, what I learned is so many times insecurities make you bit possessive and that sometimes gives the impression that insecure person trying to hold the other person so tightly and then the person look for the freedom through breaking up the relation.

Melody Mishap

6 years ago

It's going the wrong way, I mean a whole lotta difference between insecurities and trust issues. Insecurities make you hold tighter while trust issues make you push everyone away.

Launchora User

6 years ago

you are right up to some extent but one important thing you didn't realise is it's the lack of trust that creates the feeling of insecurity.

Melody Mishap

6 years ago

? lacking trust on someone leads to insecurities lacking trust on every one is actually trust 'issues' note the plural noun there.

Launchora User

6 years ago

and yes, I understood your point as Well, where you want to emphasise that because you find it hard to trust you can't afford to be in relationship.

Melody Mishap

6 years ago

Gotcha!

Maanas Nayak

6 years ago

it's ok to keep a safe side It's all part of the process Discussing about our insecurities And sometimes its ok if the other person is not willing to understand when they are in a bad mood themselves but for going deep within each other breaking of walls is necessary You're doing good you're trying to explain they just have to try to understand sometimes and listen Coz most of the time it's not about them So they have nothing to feel threatened about or think like you're blaming them for something For self cleansing we have to let out all the cards with time for understanding more properly about ourselves Someone has to be a mirror a medium So that you may see urself more clearly n make your peace with it

Melody Mishap

6 years ago

You understand more than I can express ?

Maanas Nayak

6 years ago

thanks mate ?