Dear Nowar,
I was hoping this letter would really reach you...only you. But I don't have the guts to send you this.
I wrote this on the night of December 10th, it was the first time that I saw you with her.
We really haven't talked about things like these in the past and maybe this might be the last time I'll do this. I promised my self that this would be the last one for you. I wrote this because of my attempt to continue living my life with a clean slate for the new year. A year with no more hidden feelings and no words left unsaid.
You were everything I could ever ask for. Your love was unconditional and you were the most patient and understanding boy friend anyone could have. I just want you to know that even though it seemed like I didn't care before, truth is, I loved you more than I could ever imagined. I loved you to the point that up until now, whenever I scroll into our old conversation, my heart would hurt. I am hurt by the fact that we were so young back then for me to realize that you were and you are everything anyone could wish for. I regret everything that I have done, I regret that I was so young, innocent and dumb to realize that my heart's desire was you. And maybe, the greatest regret that I have now was not choosing you. I was happy back then, I was too young to realize the consequences of my decisions. I might be suffering the consequences now.
This letter ain't an attempt to steal you from your life now because I know that you have suffered because of me. I am so sorry for the pain that I caused. I apologize for the trouble that I brought you and for bringing you darkness instead of light.
Now, hopefully, I will finally be ready to live a new life without you in it, not even a friend because I know that you don't need me anymore. I am happy for you and for the man that you have become. Please take good care of yourself. I wish you happiness and peace. Happy Holidays!