I sit here outside, the gentle breeze blowing through my hair, the mountains facing me, the voices silenced by my will to be in peace.
My diary is sitting on my lap, a fresh page staring at me, like it demands to be written over with my gel-ink pen.
I blankly stare at the clouds hovering above me, hoping that I could register something and at least write it down, even if it’s only a phrase… or a word.
While I may look at peace, my mind is in utter chaos. Making mistakes. Disappointment. Failure. Happiness. Anger. Doubt. Faith. Love. Each different thought trying to take over my mind against my will. My mind’s full, but my heart and soul floats through a void, waiting for an anchor to stop both from completely soaring away.
I close my eyes, letting fat tears fall down my already red cheeks.
Finally, my mind is now in a stable state, my thoughts settling down in equilibrium, each ready to be written down.
The equilibrium anchors my heart and soul, keeping the two from floating away and disappearing completely through the void.
I fumble for my pen and write with a shaking hand in my diary, tears blotting the flimsy page.