We Didn’t Fall Out of Love

How did we fall out of love?

An open-ended question whose answers are hard to explain. A theory that needs further studies to support such claim. How did we really fall out of love? Or did we not? Until now, I could not provide answers to the question. Many times I have tried asking people about it. Many times I have failed to get one, reasonable answer.

We never really loved each other, did we? Because if we did, how could we fall out of love so easily? How could we let each other go if we held both hands tightly?

Until everything was ruined. Now, I could hardly trace back to where it started or when it happened or which episode in our story it began to glitch.

Then we tell other people different versions of lies. We play victim to the crime. We act as if it was the other person's fault. When they ask, our answers seem different from the truth, we support them with unjustified reasons resulting in misperception.

You tell them it was my fault, I told them it was yours. We never really had a closure, we just split. We never really talked about the matter, we just let it slide with pride and prejudice. Our break-up was never justified.

So who’s there to blame for breaking the only thread that connects my heart to yours? Was it me who decided to loosen up? Or was it you who decided to cut the thread? Have you forgotten already? It was you who decided to let go, first. Not me.

We recount things that were long forgotten. We rekindle the flames we used to ignite. What for? We were already each other’s old flame that extinguished some time ago. Neither of us dared to ignite the flame. Neither of us was brave to fix what’s broken.

How far have you gone retelling stories about us? Do you speak the truth or just the chapters where you played the most? I remained shut all this time, I even tried saving you from people’s judgmental tongues, from people cursing you to death, from people telling me you were never worth it.

You covered your ears from hearing me out. You closed every possible door I tried entering just to let you know I had a share of what happened. Instead, you opened your ears to them, to the ones who were jealous of how we were. To the ones who were happy how we destruct each other.

You listened to people trying to spoil my reputation for you to despise me more. You paid much attention to girls you thought could save you from the heartbreak. But no, you were wrong. They were only pretending to care because they wanted to take my place. Well, in fact, I have already reserved a bigger space for them. And by watching you click the bait, you only proved how weaker you were than me.

So do not blame me for what happened because it takes one to know one. I knew how to play the victim and I know how to play the game. Do you even realize this after all the dramas you created? It wasn’t just my fault, it was also yours.

But what happened to us? You messed up with the truth. Can you not tell them the real score? Or were you only terrified to be blamed for the fall? You sabotaged the truth. You destroyed me to other people; telling them I was wrong, and you were right all the time.

Did we really fall out of love? No one really falls out of love. We messed up. We became cowards to take the blame. We avoided each other's presence. We erased each other's existence.

Don’t you see? No one really falls out of love. Because when we fall, we just fall. Either we fall in or fall out.

Perhaps we didn't fall out by breaking up. We fell out of love by destroying us. Besides, we do not destroy the people we love. Especially those we used to love.

xX