I always ask myself, "What is wrong with me?"
After seeing the deathful glares, after hearing the words from their filthy mouths and after crushing my hopes, I still don't know what is wrong. I am not being innocent or even being dumbfounded. I just don't know why.
There's nothing wrong with me. I am doing my best to satisfy them and to be accepted but they are still thinking the wrong idea.
Lies. I felt that it is just a lie.
I know that I knew myself and I can't do those things that they are blaming or saying to me. I am not stupid, ugly or fat. I am just being myself and I don't think they can see that.
I think I am a victim of misunderstanding. I have the life of a human being but people are treating me like I'm just a thing. I am being used, being manipulated and being left. Who to blame? People will say that it is me but they never see themselves hurting me.
Believing that lie, I also blame myself. I am feeling weak whenever I see them that I never pity myself again. I am trying to be strong every day as hard as possible, escaping the monstrous world of bandwagons.
I am still hurting each time that I live. How can end this? Or stop this cruel shit?
I still don't know the reason why they left even though I am trying my best to be a real person. I am still asking myself if it is really a lie. You may see me not believing it right now but my heart is not forever strong. I know that someday or sooner I could end everything and with a single glance, the world will not have me at all.
What will you do to save me? What will you tell me if I ask you what is wrong with me? What?