Launchorasince 2014
← Stories

What It Means To Me

Nothing. That's what it all means to me

It's funny that after all the things I've worked so hard for there's nothing but questions

Questions of why I exist, where I'm headed, and whether all of it would be worth it

Beneath the mask of laughter and humor lies someone who's afraid of the dark

Not the darkness that comes with the night, but the shadow that comes with the light

I am blind to myself, it is such a struggle to keep writing it all down

The whole process of writing is lost on me but who gives a shit anyway

I open the wounds that I thought would've healed with time

I guess that's how it is with me, even my writing is chaos

Unfathomable and urgent, I never know if it will be my last piece to write

Love is just a word to me whatever I might've said in the past

I understand the concept but not the experience

I've built a fortress of solitude and surrounded it with a moat of apathy

Because if there's one thing I know, it is that time changes everything

Perspectives that I used to believe in are no longer there, what's left is a pulsing emptiness

You might ask, what's the point in all of this nonsense?

There is no point, the only rule is that there are no rules

I am writing because I want to, because the only integrity that's left is in here

Written down in all its profanity and disregard for what's left of my sanity