"It is an emergency, we need you here as soon as possible."
I hit the accelerator. Fortunately I was not more than a Kilometer away from the hospital. I began to mentally prepare myself. It would require me a lot of focus and concentration to deal with this. I had dealt with emergencies numerous times in my 15 year long career but each one posed a new challenge.
I rushed into the parking lot and hurried my way out of the car. There was already a nurse waiting for me there. She had a file in her hand. She had only minutes to brief me on the situation till I reached the trauma center.
"It is a serious one doctor. We have a boy about 14-15 year old. He has had excessive bleeding from his stab wounds in his chest. I am afraid he has already lost a lot of blood. He might as well have a punctured lung."
"Did they bring him in an ambulance ?". " No doctor, his father brought him here".
I reached the trauma center. I saw a pale young lad lying in midst of equipment and chaos. My mind rushed with thoughts but I could not afford to lose focus. He was already on a ventilator.We have to stabilize him first. Next I needed to seal the wound. I had to be very careful now. I could feel the tension rising. In the process of sealing his wounds I discovered that the boy had a large puncture wound. The lung tissue will not be able to immediately close and repair itself. Surgical intervention was necessary.
This was not going to be easy, I told myself. I had to work swiftly now. I barked instructions at nurses," Ready him for surgery, fetch my tools" as I prepared myself for the procedure. I was becoming increasingly involved into the procedure, so much so I would forget to make myself verbal on occasions. Such mistakes could be dangerous, I knew Communication was crucial to a successful surgery. Such a problem had never troubled me before.I was being tested.
I had developed a kind of professional detachment from my patients after all these years of working in the emergency department. Distancing myself personally from a patient and his family allowed me to focus on the intricacies involved in my job.
This particular child though, I could not emotionally detach myself with. I could not stop thinking about his wounds. Who would have stabbed this young fellow so ruthlessly ?
This young man stirred me into a vivid memory of my own past. When I was in a room not much unlike this and gentleman saved my life as a young teen, only my case was far less serious than this one. I had only suffered a minor concussion. That was the day I decided to enter this noble profession once I grew up.
My hands worked precisely and moved around rapidly.One wrong move and I risked having him bleed to death. I could see the colour of his pallor fade away. I could see him putting a lot of effort to breathe. They were not ideal conditions I would say, but I had things under control. I only thought I had things under control.
Suddenly his breathing became erratic .His heart beat increased and so did the frequency of the ECG beeps. I grew nervous, I could not shake off the fear of losing him. My hands trembled. I was losing this. Desperation was wining over logic. I found myself frantically trying everything I could. All my experience was at test. It would be the greatest test of my life. He stopped gasping for a moment, much to my relief. For a moment I thought we had pulled him away from danger. Just then it beeped again but this time it was an unending beep.
The beep did not cease as if time stool still.
I felt weak in my knees.
" We have lost him"- I somehow managed to utter.
I wish time had actually stood still, but it would not be that kind to me.