Where were you?
When I needed someone to tell me I did my best?
When I needed those special persons to make me feel trustworthy enough to believe in myself?
When I lost myself because of depending on you all the time?
When I needed someone to lift me up when I felt so low?
When I was too weak to even believe in my strength?
When I needed someone to wipe my eyes at night?
When I needed you to be proud of me?
When I needed you to listen to my side of the story?
When I was lost?
When I was down?
When I have no one to turn to?
When I needed you to guide me?
There you were.
Too busy judging me.
Too busy to pay attention.
Too hooked up in your own mindsets.
Too busy protecting your reputation.
Too busy trying to make me like you.
Too busy to even trust someone like me, who’s dependent on you.
Too busy let me decide on my own when I needed to learn how to.
Too gullible in rumors other people tell you, but too close-minded when it comes to me.
Too busy trying to please others, often forgetting us.
Too busy trying to make it up to us, when it’s already too late.
Too busy pointing fingers at me, telling me it’s always my fault.
Too deaf to even listen to what I, your daughter, wanted.
That’s why I…
I never felt worthy of things.
I never found myself.
I never get to be independent.
I never get to reach out my feelings to you.
Whenever I try to talk to you, it always just ends up in a fight.
I am indecisive.
I find it hard to express what I really think.
I feel so imprisoned.
I feel so left out even at home.
I can never tell you anything without your judgmental eyes.
I can never be enough.
I find it hard to love.
I find it hard to love myself.
I find it hard for others to love me.
I find it hard to let anyone in.