Why do I exist if I must lead this kind of life. They say that each and everyone of us exists for a reason, we all have purpose in life. As much as I can recall there is nothing I'm doing that makes me needed or even Worth existing. I am loosing everything I am to time. I lost my intelligence I lost my sence of freedom. I can't remember the last time I sat with my family and just talked with them about anything, not even food or whatsoever. Nothing motivates me and I waste all my time on movies. I have school to attend, everyone thinks I'm stupid, nobody talks to me and they say that I won't make it big. That should motivate me to proove them wrong, but I just keep prooving them right. I haven't done anything to turn my life to the way I want it to be. Where did things turn out this way, where did it go wrong. If I could only turn back time, but that is impossible. There is nothing I can do that's going to make me feel good. I know that tomorrow when I'll go to school I'll see the kids talking about everything productive they did this weekend and all I'll have to say is Lucky you. I hate the way my life turned out to be. Yesterday I turned off the chat on my aunt that I haven't seen for 6 years now just so I can Watch a movie, I haven't seen my dad for a week now and when he came I went to my room closed it and turned on my lap top so I can Watch a movie without being inturupted. I want to change but I can't because something Inside of me is stoping me. I feel like I become an animal lost without direction, it's like life has turned its back on me and left with only tears and a goodbye. What I'm scared of is not only that but also the way I think, I don't want to have a mental illness because of how my thoughts turned out to be. I live in a fantasy universe and I can't get out of it. I don't think of anything real, all my thoughts are fictious. I want help, and I want change. I should start now but I can't because of who I am.
Story
Why me...?
Why do I exist if I must lead this kind of life. They say that each and everyone of us exists for a reason, we all have purpose in life. As much as I can recall there is nothing I'm doing that makes me needed or even Worth existing. I am loosing everything I am to time. I lost my intelligence I lost my sence of freedom. I can't remember the last time I sat with my family and just talked with them about anything, not even food or whatsoever. Nothing motivates me and I waste all my time on movies. I have school to attend, everyone thinks I'm stupid, nobody talks to me and they say that I won't make it big. That should motivate me to proove them wrong, but I just keep prooving them right. I haven't done anything to turn my life to the way I want it to be. Where did things turn out this way, where did it go wrong. If I could only turn back time, but that is impossible. There is nothing I can do that's going to make me feel good. I know that tomorrow when I'll go to school I'll see the kids talking about everything productive they did this weekend and all I'll have to say is Lucky you. I hate the way my life turned out to be. Yesterday I turned off the chat on my aunt that I haven't seen for 6 years now just so I can Watch a movie, I haven't seen my dad for a week now and when he came I went to my room closed it and turned on my lap top so I can Watch a movie without being inturupted. I want to change but I can't because something Inside of me is stoping me. I feel like I become an animal lost without direction, it's like life has turned its back on me and left with only tears and a goodbye. What I'm scared of is not only that but also the way I think, I don't want to have a mental illness because of how my thoughts turned out to be. I live in a fantasy universe and I can't get out of it. I don't think of anything real, all my thoughts are fictious. I want help, and I want change. I should start now but I can't because of who I am.