WISH YOU ARE MINE
Ritu Siddharth
`` HEY YOU ",Came a sharp voice from the south.Six girls walking on the pavement turned simultaneously towards the sound.`` Cornered",the smartest in the group exclaimed."Ok, don't give your true identity or address....let's go",came her small command .Others nodded and followed her.
Six boys sat on the brick-lining at the side of the college road,as if waiting to block all those who passed by."When did you join?",Mohan asked, when the girls were close enough."August 3rd sir", the tallest replied."What sir ,fur !Say Mighty Senior", Mallick sneered."Now stand in horizontal line....Count your heads...start from you",the burly boy,Shekhar said,pointing to the smart girl."1 sir,2 sir, 3 sir 4 sir ,5 sir ,6 sir ", came the rapid reply."Say MIGHTY SENIOR",snapped Amar,"Your names ....start with you", winked Shekhar . "Aishwarya",Subhulakshmi","Maria","Shakti","Rajeshwari","Saranya".
"Hm.Give your details",said Rajesh sitting next to Shekhar .
"Aishwrya , d/o Mohanasundaram , father works in atomic research centre , mom works in mnc. I'm 17 plus, have 2 brothers,... younger".
"Ok,ok", he did not want to waste time further in their introduction.Others were disappointed.They saw Shekhar was eyeing Aishwarya who was indeed good looking and smart.
Vivekananda Medical College and Hospital is a reputed institution where only brilliant students are said to be studying. Rajalakshmi College of Arts and Science is next to the medical college, and the short route to it is through the medical college campus . Needless to say , the medicos never let go the chance to flirt with the RCAS girls.
Monday.9 Am . A bunch of girls took the short route to RCAS. The same batch of boys suddenly appeared from nowhere.
Ragging started; Shekhar was the head .
1st was made to hoot like an engine ,move arms back and forth and walk in a circle,slowly at the start then with increasing speed.
2nd was told to fish from a pond.
3rd,to carry a basket of vegetables and cry out her wares.
4th,5th,6th: to enact lover-pair caught by the parent.
7th: Kiss the girl next to her and deliver love dialogue for 3 full minutes, nonstop.
There was a roar of laughter after every episode.
8th: The turn of Mahalakshmi. She is from a middle class , from suburban dwelling 2 km from the college.She was not there during the first day of ragging.
"Hey,hey,..stand here , ...looking into my eyes....I said look into my eyes ; you UNDERSTAND", Shekhar's voice rose in crescendo as she fumbled ."Now do frog jump. ...start from there and end here". A distance of 15 feet. Task completed."Now raise your arms above your head,run around in circle,say ` I love all the boys in this college '....loud,...LOUDER". She was choking by now and trembled more in the attempt to control her fear and movements.It was terribly humiliating as the boys hooted and roared,the girls too giggling with them.10 rounds !One boy ripped a branch from a tree ,hit hard on the ground near her feet;"Faster, louder",he growled.
"I love all the boys in this college..I love all the....". Atlast,sweating,panting,shaking she completed 10 rounds.
Raghavan joined the medicos as she was in her last lap."Enough yar..let her go",he said.
Mahalakshmi sat in the verandah with her pet Arjun. She was bored so decided to read through her diary.
Sept,Oct,Nov...At first she wrote about her college and friends .Soon it zoomed-in on Raghavan and circumstances involving him.
The college bus stopped to pick up students from a stop.A song was playing in a tea stall:
Tujhe dekhaa to ye janaa sanam,
Pyaar hotaa hai diwaanaa sanam,
Yahaan se kahaan jaayenge hum,
Tere baahon me mar jaayenge hum...
Mahalakshmi pressed her lips and smiled to herself. `Yes',she thought.`Raghavan you are my life', she thought.He had helped her and her family members on several occasions,mostly with health problems...and her ,sometimes personally that had touched her,and had tossed her tangentially to her present mind-set.
Semester exam was close by.She could not focus on studies,so failed in pre-sem exam.
"How's your exam going ?",he had asked.
"I 've done very badly,I don't expect to pass",she had replied.True enough she plugged in two subjects in the first year.
There was a long gap..She had not seen Raghavan for several weeks after her result.She went madder than before.
There was some delay in engaging drivers for the college bus ,students had to make their own means of transportation.So the RCAS students frequented the road in the medical campus.
On one such evening,the medicos, Manohar, Malik, Raghavan accosted the girls from RCAS, Nirmala, Thamarai Selvi, Mahalakshmi,insisted they give a treat. It was arranged the three girls would pay for the items consumed by all the six, in the canteen.They ate merrily and exchanged information.
Mahalakshmi was junior to her twin brother by 30 minutes.He was doing engineering; her mother was housewife, a plain lady; father, government employee .
Raghavan was the only son to his parents.His father was a cardiologist ,mom was a gynecologist, from Kerala.They owned a nursing home where Raghavan helped his father in his work when needed.His father stressed Raghavan choose cardiac surgery,while the medico wanted orthopedic surgery.
Mahalakshmi's head reeled when the bill worked out to Rs.370 per head ; a price they had to pay for using the road through the medical campus.
Mahalakshmi accidentally tripped over and spilled conc acid on her overcoat,right arm ,a spec on her cheek.It burned even after rinsing in water. Thamarai accompanied her to the hospital . Raghavan was in casualty.It was his second posting as internee . He treated her . She trembled in pain.
"It 'll be alright in a short while",he said, but was tormented by the pain written on her face ."Take care ",he said, as he patted her cheek as if she were a child, "and be careful ,come tomorrow for follow up",he added.
Mahalakshmi spent extra time in rest room, missed her bus.She had excruciating pain in her lower abdomen and back,and could not move beyond a bench in the rival campus.She sat crouching not knowing how she would make it to her house.Lucky for her , Raghavan and two others passed by."What dude,not going home ?",he asked.She lifted her head to meet the voice.He was startled to see the agony on her face."Ok.You go ,I'll join you later ", he hurriedly disposed them. Mahalakshmi rose with difficulty."Good evening ,Mighty Highness,..um..I..I missed..the b..bus",she managed in staccato.
He saw a patch of blood under her seat.He called a few numbers, probably his girl-classmates . All were engaged. He thought for a while , then said,"Stay here ,I'll be back in a few minutes". She looked dazedly at him , his tall form taking long strides.She then lay down, pulled up her legs to her abdomen ; was still moaning when he returned in an auto-rickshaw."Hey,..let's go", he said ," I'll drop you in your house". She felt drained but managed to dump herself in the backseat. She continued to groan intermittently."Did anyone tease you in the college?",he asked anxiously."Eh?",she gave him a confused look.
Her mother was alarmed at her sight,but soon understood the situation. "Auntie", he started.."O it happens",her mother responded and led her daughter in. Raghavan left, returned 10 mins later with a package.
"Auntie,just call Mythily,I'll give this injection ,she'll feel better".
Meanwhile Mahalakshmi had washed and changed into clean dress."You mean Maha? ,....Ammu !",she called."Leave me alone ma", she said in a broken voice.
Raghavan went into her room ,gave the injection ,while her mother watched."Thank you , doctor",she said ."Just a help , auntie ", he said.
Minutes later Maha moved out of her room and thanked the young doctor for his service."That's ok.Take this tab when you have pain ", he handed over a written note.
Mahalakshmi had missed her morning bus.Her hair tied in a clumsy bunch, dupatta sliding off her shoulder frequently, sweat streaming down her face and neck, walking like a horse through the medical college campus, was a comical presentation. A familiar face smiled at her when others would have had a hearty laugh."What buddy? Late again?", he asked."Hm mm!"she nodded without looking back.
Sweet memories. Mahalakshmi turned these on several times, over and over again.
Then , one evening, as soon as she reached home, she called Raghavan .
"Hello"!
"Yes?"from other side.
She paused awhile, not knowing what to say.
"Sir , can I speak to you?"
"Yes you are speaking now! What's the matter?"
"Is it your duty day?"
"Yes".
"So you must be in hospital !"
"Yes". "
"Busy?"
"Not now".
"Relaxing?"
"Yeah."
"Tired?"
"Not exactly".
There was a long pause
"Did I disturb you ,sir?"
"Not exactly".
"So,you mean.. I ..did partially?"
"Somewhat".
"Can I ... Can I..um..Can I speak ..to you..often...I...may be ............daily? " It was a staccato.
"Why?You may if there's a need. Ok. see you later", he hung up.
She just wanted to be in touch ;to hear his voice.....
The next day:
"Good morning", she said
"Yes good morning", his voice was flat.
'Reached home?"
"Yes".
"Had breakfast?"
"Yes".
"Want to sleep?"
"Yes".
"Bye then".
She wondered if he thought of her as she thought of him, almost perpetually. He may not..
"I 'm in love, Thamarai....deeply in love...hopelessly in love," she told her friend ,one afternoon during lunch-break."It's killing me..it's just killing me ...I don't know what to do".
"Tell him that, whoever you love", she said. Mahalakshmi gazed at the distant horizon, silent, brooding.
"Who's it?",Thamarai finally asked.
"Raghavan".
Tamarai looked at her in disbelief.
"He is so kind ...O..I love him so much", she repeated.
Having coffee at the canteen had become a frequent occurrence, because Raghavan was always hungry and tired or Mahalaskmi would request him.
A week later, she asked him," Can I call you Raghav?"."OK", he had answered.
'Raghav', she repeated softly, clasped her hands and held it to her bosom as if she had captured him in the cup of her hands; she appeared dreamy and seemed to drift away..
Saturday:
"Can I see you Raghav, just 10 mins.... can you spare?..if you can ...I'll wait near the canteen". He arrived. The usual agile walk,the ready bright grin was missing from her. She handed him a wrapped parcel, "For you...I thought of you, while shopping yesterday", she said."Why? It's not my birthday", he was surprised."I know...open it when you reach home...say if you like it ,and also say if you don't like it". As he was examining the parcel, wondering what could be inside,she did what none would have ever expected her to do; she threw her arms around his neck, kissed his cheek close to the mouth almost on his chin and moved away as quickly."Your th…..thoughts ..are..consuming me ..Raghav", she stammered. He looked at her without a word.She bit and pursed her lips and looked down. He turned and left.
There was no communication from him.He had not answered her calls either.She could not meet him.
A fortnight later he called ,"You bitch,whore,what did you think ?I'm a loafer ,loafing after you? I 'm doing a specializing course you understand ?You want me to be laughed at by my colleagues and teachers?Do you know what humiliation I faced in the theatre?My professor told me to get out if I did not stay focused....If you want a guy I'll send one who can handle 10 females at one time ! Want him?You whore",he switched off.
Mahalakshmi crumbled.
She sent a message,"I'm sorry ,sir.I shouldn't have done it.I didn't mean to bring disrepute to you ,sir,I 'm extremely sorry".There was no reply.
3 months later:
"What dude !You're all the time obsessed !Don't want your MS degree,eh?",it was Manohar.Raghavan related the happenings.
"O,that girl !Her name 's Mahalakshmi ,is it?Her eyes are beautiful.Lovely lips.She 's dashing .Wish she would talk to me".
Raghavan looked away."You were harsh ,Ragha.You should n't 've spoken so severely to her . Poor girl ! How could you call her whore?",he was angry for her. Manohar had seen her several times and had started to like her.
"You must apologize to her", suggested Malik,who was closer to Raghavan."How?", Raghavan asked."Find your way",was his short reply.He was busy with his own affair.
3 days later after much rumination , Raghavaan decided to see Mahalakshmi."Go meet him ", insisted Thamarai."NO",was her determined reply."Ok,I'll see him", Thamarai spoke to him when he came the second time.She opened up,"Maha loves you sir ; she is mad for you; she keeps talking about you..how you play tennis, how you walk, your smile, laugh..But for past few months she is totally lost.Once she said she wanted to cut her throat and die but luckily her mummy called her at the right time. She starves ...I'm afraid she may die..", the girl's voice was strained. He listened in silence ."Tell her I 'm very sorry",he left.
The next day he came again."Please tell your friend I want to see her",he appeared worried.
"You must go,Maha ! He is a doctor ;there is absolutely no necessity for him to beg you", she appeared annoyed with her.
Mahalakshmi walked upto him , eyes downcast. He was aghast to see her form , almost a skeleton."Gosh! What have you done to yourself?", he exclaimed.She stood with her head hung.
"Can you have coffee with me today, after your class?",he asked.
She did not answer at once.
"Will you come ?", he repeated.
She nodded without looking up."Thank you ", he said.
She turned ,walked swiftly a few pace,covered her face with her hands,her body rocked.His eyes moistened.He watched her for a while.
She heard his bike start. She turned ,saw him leave. A low wail escaped her ..She bit her lip, sank into a bench nearby.
"Come ",Raghavan led her into the canteen,chose a table that could provide more privacy than other places.He brought 2 cups of coffee ,"Take"he said as he took his seat next to her.Her hand shook,eyes welled up,lips quivered uncontrollably .She tried all means she could think of to control herself,but none worked.She rose and walked away , returned shortly.The moisture was still around her eyes.
"Your coffee is cold ..I'll get a fresh hot cup",he rose while she tried to stop him.
'Raghav ,you 're so kind ',her eyes welled up again.
The air was tense.
He watch her.Her collar bone stood out.Her knuckles were prominent.A sigh escaped him.
"Can I call you Maha?...Mahalakshmi is too long",he asked as she took her first sip.
Years ago,he had asked the same question ,the same way.She had laughed."No, call me full or don't call me anything ",she had said.
"Can I call you Maha?",he repeated.She did not notice he was playing with her fingers.
She nodded.
He drew his coffee inattentively that produced a funny sound 'brrrrrrrr''.She laughed ..the first time in months.
"What?"he asked."Nothing ", she replied.
"When's your birthday?"
She told Sunday.
3 more days to go..."I don't celebrate my b'day", she said."What do you do?"he asked.
"I go to the temple,that's all".
"Can I come with you ,to the temple ?"
"Yes"
"What time ?"
"4.30,in the evening".
"Ok.I'll pick you up in your house",he told her.
.
At the entrance of the temple Raghavan made a request,"Maha,pray for me ; pray that I should marry the girl who loves me", he bent to look into her eyes. He noticed the momentary grimace on her face.
She had seen him laughing and talking to a girl, probably his batch-mate or his junior..May be he meant for this girl, she thought.
"Remember, pray exactly the way I told you, use the same set of words I told you"."Yes ", she nodded.
Archan was done.They prayed together..his eyes closed, her eyes closed.Pujari gave them both kumkum and theerth. s she turned to go, he placed kumkum on her forehead. She showed no emotion."Did you pray for me?"he asked . She nodded.
Now to go back home. He rode the route that was unfamiliar to her . Finally, he entered a gate that led to a palatial building."Come ", he said. She followed."Come have a look around", he invited. "Your home?" she asked ."Yes",his answered. Her jaw fell in amazement ."This is my room,come in", He told her . He led her to another room."My parents', doesn't matter, come have a look", he insisted when she hesitated to go in.
There was a big ground in front and back of the building , there was a mango tree ,a chickoo tree,coconut trees,and a garden of beautiful flowers."You like it?"he asked."Beautiful,"she smiled in genuine appreciation.
"Chandran!"..he appeared."Shall I lay the table?"he asked , simultaneously scanning Mahalakshmi from top to toe.
"Where's madam ?".
"No sir,Madam has not arrived yet".
" OK", to Chandran; "Come" to Maha.
They rode a short distance into a nursing home."Our nursing home",he referred .
"Mummy, this is Mahalakshmi, it's her birthday".
"O,God bless you child.What are you doing?"
"1st yr MSc,Chemistry".
"What will you do?Work or study further?"
"She wont work",Raghav moved in.
"Ma..."
"Auntie", he corrected.
" Auntie ,I want to teach".
"God bless you",she place her hand on Maha's head in a gesture to bless.
He led to another portion in the building.
To his father,"Mahalakshmi,daddy...her birthday".
"Namaste Pa".
"Úncle ", he corrected.
"O,happy birthday Mahalakshmi",he said in a boisterous voice. Maha was beginning to tremble."She is getting nervous son, hold her", he laughed.
Maha pursed her lips that were constantly drying up.
"What treat are you giving her?"he asked pouting his lips.
Raghav smiled .
"So,...she is,....hm..... We'll talk about it soon.Want it after you complete your course or before?", he asked.
'I'll complete my course first , daddy".
"Good. Give her a good day, son",the father said.
They sat in the reception for a while, silent and stiff. He glanced at her.Yes ,her eyes and lips were beautiful.He liked the way she pressed her lips when she was embarrassed or was naughty.It was beginning to darken."Can you drop me home?
I don't know the route from here", she pleaded.
He sighed.'He is being kind to me on my birthday',she thought.
.
20 days later:
There was festivity in Maha's house.Kalyan, Maha's brother was exited."Get ready.Why are you so slow you nutmeg', he chided Maha."I don't want to see anyone",Maha was yelling when a car arrived ."Welcome to our place",her parents were welcoming a group.Bags of fruits,sweets,materials,flowers were brought in.Raghavan walked into her room,"Are n't you ready yet?",he grinned.She looked at him ,confused for sometime."What's this?"she asked....He didn't reply,instead he opened his arms and gestured her to walk in.She hesitated a moment.Then rushed to him,into his arms,slipped her hands behind his neck...and wept.
"Why didn't you tell me before",she choked.
"Happy?",he asked.
"O, Raghav ,I'm soo happy".
"Then why are you crying?".
"No I'm not".
Her lips brushed past his cheek."Can I kiss you", she breathed,standing on her toes to reach his face. "Yes", he whispered.Lips met.She felt him draw her closer to him.She felt his heart- beat.Then, suddenly he pushed her gently away."They are calling ", he said.
Back in his house,he tossed sleeplessly in his bed .
Phone was handy....
"Hello ! Mahal,.. Noormahal".
"Yes !I thought you 'd be asleep!"
"I called to tell you, next time you kiss like that, just watch out".
"Will you scold me?"
"Na".
"Slap me?"
"Na".
"Wont talk to me?"
'Na.I 'll tell you tomorrow in person.Now go to sleep"Raghavan said as he pulled a pillow to him.
......Concluded