I just want to say

I went some few years back
Even if you won't be able to read this
I will still write it
I read your prose, your thoughts and I realized, I've missed you
I've missed my own contradicting, sad and dark self
But I am happy now, or maybe not completely happy as you wanted me to be
I know it's been like more than a couple of years but I still have times and days that would bring me back to those months and those days
I only got to like and react and add some comments to your social media accounts but I am unable to speak or converse with you like before
But really, I am glad that you have been a part of my life
You are like the half of my soul or the one-third because I still think of my girl best friend as one of the parts of my soul
This time, like actually this time, I miss you, really, I mean that
I miss one of my confidantes
I miss one of the people I can be as hollow and black as I can be
But I am unable to talk with you now
I cannot have the same response as I did before
I am just a passing wind in your life that has already passed and will never blow again, will never make you feel anything again
I can be like this, I know
I love the person I am with and I shouldn't have this feeling and thought
But you were a special friend I can never replace
I went to your account to read some more and to try and feel the same admiration as I had felt
I missed it but I can't be there
If you are able to read this, it won't really mean anything now
Everything is moved, time has move and we thread our own paths
I am just really missing some of these feelings, those days and months
I would repeat it if given the chance, I am glad that you were able to be in my universe and never really judge me nor made me feel worse than some people did
I guess one day we won't stay as virtual friends forever, maybe one day, we'll meet in person
That's just it, it's just what I want to say
But don't worry, am happy (again not completely) even if sometimes, I can have crazy dark thoughts, do know that I am holding on and gripping myself to keep my sanity and life