I've always been afraid of death since I was a kid.
It usually happens when I look at the altar. I questioned things like how does it feel? Where does a soul go? Can you really see your loved ones when you depart?
As the time goes by there are instances of that certain thought popped randomly when I'm looking at the altar. Everytime that happens I close my eyes tightly as if it will help me not to think about it.
Was I scared of death? or I'm just curious?
I am not quite sure but one thing I know is that I don't want to have a lot of regrets and live in dark times for too long.
Maybe that's why I forgive too much I want to live a life that will not make me regret too much. I want to live a life like I tried my very best up to the very end. I want to live a life that every year there is something to be learned from and a reason to be happy.
Life is hard sometimes.
Love can be toxic too
Death will always be sad
But living in this world is a gift.
So even if life is hard,we pushed through
Even love can be toxic, we try harder
Even death is sad, we try to reminsce
Because all of it are memories.
One thing that death taught us is life can be taken away from you anytime so why not try and love harder. Live the best life that you dreamed of. That is probably what our departed loved ones want for us.
Forgive yourself.
Feel that pain and learn from it.
Let your heart lead.
Stand up and connect to your higher self.
Be present.
Close your eyes and whisper "I am worth living."
Because I am and so are you.
*
This is my first time to write something about death. Maybe because its my grandmother's death anniversary is coming.
But that is my thought.