After her encounter with a time rabbit, bipolar mouse, giant dog, talking duck, lory, eaglet, dodo and a caterpillar with a Hookah, Alice would be rather happy to meet a... cat. The conversation, however, was not going to the right direction:
'We are all mad here!' shouted the cat.
'No we are not!' shouted the girl.
'Yes, we do.'
'So, how do you know I'm mad?' asked Alice.
'You must be,' said the cat, 'look at your stuff.'
'What's wrong with my stuff?' she said, scanning her clothes, 'There's nothing wrong with my stuff!'.
'We're in the XXI century,' exclaimed the cat, 'how can you dress like that, without being mad?'
'I don't know--'
'It's tacky...'
'Okay...' Alice didn't think that proved it at all; indeed, she went on 'And how do you know that you're mad?'
'To begin with,' said the Cat, with a proud voice, 'my name is Mad. I know it is--'.
'You must be mad!' shouted Alice.
'... Perfect! Faster than I expected!' said Mad.
'Not Mad, mad, Mad!' said the girl, confused by herself.
'... You mean cat?' asked the cat, smiling.
'Yes!'
'Fine, then. Any more questions?' asked the Mad, cackling.
'No! I mean mad, Cat!' shouted Alice, again, confused as never.
'It's Mad and cat, not Cat and mad, little girl. Is this puzzle so hard? Thought it was the easiest.' told the cat, leaving Alice down.
'Okay, okay. You won. You're mad...' murmured the little lady.
'I knew it! My mother doesn't tested me! I told her...' shouted the cat, 'Alice, thank you for that! Now I need to find that ancestral hairball!'
'But, wait! I was going to ask one more thing...'
'Oh, what do you need?'
'Would you tell me which way I ought to go from here?' asked Alice, gently.
'Do you want a spoiler or an answer?' asked Mad, smiling.
'... it can be a spoiler.' said Alice, doubtful.
'Don't put Lizard in head downwards... Just do not.' explained the cat.
Alice, then, asked implicitly for the second option: 'What?'
'To the left, young lady' said the Cat, mad, while his body vanished.
'Someone forgot a tale...' the girl said.
'It's a tail... Someone here is not a native english speaker...' told the cat, staring at the sun.
'Bet is the writer.'
Gently smiling, the cat said 'Well, at least we agree on something...'
'Godbye, Alice...', a break between the cat's lines, 'Can you stop misspelling words, dude? Thank yu.'
'Au revoir, Mad, Max is waiting for you in the next chapter!' said the little girl, with a ridiculous wry smile, actually, it's the most ridiculous wry smile in the history of ridiculous wry smiles.
On the same day, after returning to his house, the Cat... I mean, the Mad, remembered something that might have turned wrong in the entire conversation.
'Who is Max?'
In fact, Alice was cackling as never, while the cat... Well, the Mad, in the end, wasn't that cat at all.
I mean, the cat, in the end, wasn't that mad at all.
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This story is based on the Chapter VI of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carrol. The image, which is also from this work, is drawn by John Tenniel. No copyright infringement was intended, in fact, the book is already under Public Domain, and the only objective of this work is to redesign the situation and pay tribute to this wonderful book.
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