I discovered her shop while mindlessly walking around the city. I was new to the place so I had the urge to go out of my comfort zone and explore the area a little bit. The meticulously hand painted sign on her window convinced me to enter. "Enter all who want to explore," it said.
Dooley Wilson's version of As Time Goes By played through the speakers as she greeted me with a sweet hello. At first, I didn't even really noticed her because I was busy looking around the stuff she's selling, mostly knick-knacks and zines and other small items you can give away to friends as gifts. As I picked up a second hand copy of a book I've already finished reading, I looked at her and saw the wonderful eyes of hers for the first time. Those almond shaped and colored eyes behind thick square rim glasses under the dim orange glow of her quaint shop entranced me.
"That's already on discount," she said to me while repeatedly clicking her pen. Already lost for words, I fumbled with the copy and kept on turning it over and over. I heard a little chuckle from her. Not wanting to just come in the shop and not get anything, especially since it looks like I'm the first customer for the day even though it's already 4:30 pm, I walked to the counter where she stood with the book on my hands. She looked at me once again. The ambiance gave her a relaxed feeling, making her adorable in every sense of the word.
"Since when did you first opened?" I asked her trying to start up a conversation while she bagged my purchase.
"Just a few days ago. You like the place, huh?" She gave a smile that showed her perfect teeth. I nodded a little bit too excitedly.
She looked at me for a few moments while lost in a train of thought before speaking again. "Did you know you're actually the very first customer I've had since I've opened? And because of that, I'll just give this to you for free. Consider it as a thank you gift from me, okay?" She looked behind her and reached for a small black box. I didn't even get to see what it really was before she placed it inside the paper bag.
"Well... thanks for that."
"Go listen to it, I think you'll like that one."
"If you say it's that good, then I believe you. I'll check it out when I get home."
"Sure," she said as she tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled once again. I picked up the bag and walked out of the shop silently. The last thing I heard was the light ding of the door chime as I walked back to the fast-paced world.
As I entered my apartment room, I picked up the gift that she gave me. It's a black cassette tape with a picture of the world in the middle. Fragile by the band Yes. Luckily, my dad gave me his old yet still fully functioning Walkman the night before. Who knew I'd actually be able to use this? I was actually planning on using this as a display in my room. Wanting to test it out, I removed the cassette tape from its casing and popped it in the Walkman. To my surprise, the darn thing works and the next thing I knew, Roundabout was playing, drowning me in music for 8 minutes before switching to the next song in the track. When side A finished, I flipped it over and the music continued. It was ethereal.
After that first encounter, I kept on coming back to the shop, still being greeted with the same hello and the same almond shaped and colored eyes of hers. I sometimes get to sit down and have a cup of coffee with her in her shop, when people aren't coming in to peruse or purchase her wares. We'd talk about music and films. I discovered that she enjoyed the works of Wes Anderson the most. Rarely do we sit down and talk about books and even more so with our personal lives. I knew of her first name and a few bits of trivia about her but other than that, I have no clue. I had a feeling that she's a few equinoxes older than me.
A few months after first stepping foot on that shop, I found myself working for it to help her around, manning the counter, sweeping the floor, keeping the inventory, talking to local zine makers to sell their works in the shop. The pay's not that big but it's cool because I got to see her more often. I'd come in, entertain the few customers that came in to buy stuff, clean up around, and have the coffee session we've got ourselves used to before we closed up the shop for the night. Every time I entered the shop felt like a real heaven on earth.
We were at the last hour for the day. The shop was already tidy and we've finished our coffees together. I was about to take the cups away and clean it for her before she softly spoke to me.
"Do you... I dunno, wanna come over at my place? I just wanna be with someone tonight."
"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, trying to make sure I've heard her correctly.
"I-if you don't want to... it's cool. I'll still see you tomorrow..."
"No no no, it's fine. I can come over, if that's what you want. I have nothing else to do tonight anyway...." She let out a sigh of relief. I picked up our cups and washed them in the back room. We walked out together and locked the door.
"So... why do you want some company for tonight?" I asked her as we walked to the bus stop.
"I just wanna thank you again, for everything."
I scratched the back of my head, trying to keep it cool and laid-back even though she knows that I am far from being the coolest guy on the planet. Lost for words, we silently went to her place after that.
Just like the shop that she runs, her apartment showed a slice of her personality. It was a regular one bedroom apartment with walls full of Americana, posters, and road signs. She even had a few guitars and other musical instruments displayed on the wall, whether they worked or she knew how to play them, I never knew. She told me to wait patiently on the table because she was gonna change into something more comfortable, so I did. She slipped into her bedroom and I was left alone in the cozy living room. As soon as I sat down on the plastic chair, the entire apartment was filled with the soothing saxophone of Coltrane playing Blue Train.
She returned to the living room wearing an oversized shirt of an indie band I've never heard of before and her hair in a neatly knotted ponytail that accentuated the shape of her face. For the first time ever, I saw her without her thick rimmed glasses. I could not stop looking at her.
"What?" she said with a smile.
"N-nothing," I finally said after she pulled me back to Earth with her question.
"Just sit tight there, I'll whip up something good for the both of us," she said before moving towards the kitchen area. When she returned, she had a teapot with her and a few cups. I helped her prep it up on the wooden table and she poured the contents on our cups. I cooled it off a little bit before taking a sip.
"You know, I ain't much of tea guy but this is actually good. What's in it?" I asked.
She smiled and looked down on her own cup before answering. "Well, it's actually Earl Grey with a little bit of bourbon."
I lightly chuckled and looked at the contents of the teacup. "Wait... why? What's up?"
She shrugged. "I dunno. I just think it would be a good combination." Other than that, she never gave any other explanation. I'm not upset or mad at her. I mean, I liked what she did and I had nothing against it. It's just that it's my first time consuming an alcohol-infused tea in the afternoon with the woman I've been crushing on for the past months. As we went on, I found myself in awe of the fact that she's even more beautiful when the light from the setting sun shines on her.
We drank that alcohol tea until the pot was drained empty. She immediately made another batch for us to enjoy. Our conversation got deep and philosophical and I finally opened up to her about my personal life, where I'm from and where I graduated, how many friends I've had, any other interests besides books and music, and other trivia. After that batch, she made another and we consumed it. After the 7th batch of alcohol-infused tea, we found ourselves a little bit tipsy and forgetting that the night had already filled the entire room with darkness. Only the glow of the city outside illuminated us through the adjacent window.
She stood up and flicked the light switch, displacing the darkness with the blinding light. We both felt no hunger for some reason. She once again told me to wait here because she had an idea. I agreed and she slipped into her bedroom once more. She returned after a few minutes with blankets and pillows and comforters and she laid them all down on the floor before lying down on it. I followed suit and lied down beside her. More jazz music drowned us.
At that point, I was about to open up my mouth and confess to her about my harboring romantic feelings towards her and how she's the most amazing person I've ever met, but before I was about to use my vocal cords, she spoke.
"Can I tell you something? It's... somewhat important."
I shifted my position, now facing towards her. "Yeah sure. What's up?"
She played with her hands for a little while, trying to find the exact words on her fingers for her to use. "I'm... actually not who you think I am."
"Huh?"
"I'm not even a human. I'm something far more than that..."
In a different situation and with a different person, I would have chuckled at hearing something like that. But with her, I found myself listening attentively as to what she has to say. I couldn't even make this into a joke even if I tried.
"Are... you a ghost or an alien?" I asked. I was serious when I asked her this.
"No... What I'm telling you is that I'm not from this world."
"A goddess, then?"
She looked away for a bit before looking back at me directly once again. "I guess you could say that."
"Tell me more..." I urged her.
"I performed for the other gods and goddesses. That was my duty to them." They used to call her Euterpe, she explained, a name so distant from what the alias she currently used. She looked up at the ceiling as she went on.
"One day, we had a big banquet. All of the important gods and goddesses were there and I was supposed to lead the performances. But I chose to be with the person I've fallen madly in love with instead and sneaked away to be with him. The other gods didn't took that offense to them lightly and so they stripped me of my status as a deity and cursed me to forever change appearances and to wander in the world, in different times, in different places, and in different situations. My sisters tried to ask for a lighter sentence on my behalf but their requests fell through.
"When I encountered my first love after I've been cursed, he didn't recognized my appearance and casted me off, thinking that I was just some lunatic or something. It broke me. I was then told that a part of my curse was also to be teleported away every time I've fallen for someone. Sometimes, it happens immediately. Other times, it occurs after a while. It could be after a few weeks, months, or even years. But one thing is certain, I will be away for who knows how long and I don't know where or when it will be."
She paused and looked at me once more. "You don't believe me, do you?" The music was long gone.
"I feel like I should believe you..." I said. I'm not sure if it's because of the alcohol-infused tea or her story but I scooted a little bit more closer to her, gazing at the almond eyes that made me fall for her. She looked at the details of my face before closing her eyes and kissing me on my lips, first sweetly and slowly before gradually increasing in intensity. Our yearning tongues looked for comfort in each other as they danced to an unknown rhythm that only she and I understood at the time. As we went on, she went over me and we continued in exploring each other's bodies until she told me to stop. She pulled me up and lead me back to her bedroom. I picked up some of the pillows and the blanket.
The bedroom's aesthetic was no different from the entire apartment. As she flicked the switch to her room, the entire bedroom was illuminated by dozens of small decorative lights that webbed intrinsically throughout the room, giving it a more magical vibe. With her underneath that kind of lighting, it gave her a heavenly glow, more so than how she looked under the dim orange light in her shop. Her bed was against a large square window which I assumed would let sunlight pass through and would wake her up every morning. She had a shelf full of old vinyl records that looked like they're frequently used. The bed had a few stuffed bears sitting on it, patiently waiting for their master's return after a day's work.
I carried her to her bed where we continued our session. Sweet moans and caresses came from her as I tried my best to pleasure her. I told her I loved her from the moment I first saw her beautiful eyes but I think my words fell on deaf ears. She removed my shirt and I removed hers. I undid her bra and her breasts were revealed to me. Her entire being was laid bare, just for this moment.
Within minutes, we were both ready. I gently entered her, trying to feel her and get to know what turns her on even more. I held her tightly, never letting go. She dug her nails on my back as I intensified my actions. It stung me, of course, but I didn't mind. We switched positions every now and then. Our moans filled the room and teleported us both to a world of our creation where we were the only ones who occupied it. I finished inside her and we laid on her bed trying to catch our breaths. She kissed me one more time before she placed her head on my chest and cuddled me.
"What did just happen?" I asked her, still couldn't believe we actually made love that night. Instead of giving me a proper answer, she just shushed me. I stroked her shoulder length hair and parted her bangs to see her face more. She felt my chest using her thumb. We rested there together in silence. Our breaths synchronized after a few minutes. She smelled like cinnamon and old books even after everything we've done.
When she was fully rested, she stood up and walked to the door. "We don't have to be in a relationship," I said to her, not knowing where should I lead this discussion.
She turned around with a sad smile on her face. "It was the most fun I've had in a while. Thank you for everything. I'll never forget this." I stood up and hugged her tightly. I heard her light sobs.
"You know, tomorrow we could act like nothing happened..."
She lightly shook her head. "No, that's not it..." I wanted to know what's her reason but I didn't pressed on. Whatever her reason was, I respect it.
It was already almost midnight when we finished making love. We dressed up and I helped her clean up the pots and cups we used. Before leaving her apartment, I thanked her for the time we've had and she kissed me on the cheek.
"I'll see you tomorrow. Good night," I said.
"Good night." I walked down the hall before she closed her door. I looked up at the night sky and I took a deep breath. Tonight was one of those nights I'll never be able to forget, I told myself.
I came to the shop the following day thinking that I'd get to see her almond shaped and colored eyes once more. I hoped that we'd still bond together in her shop and have a nice cup of coffee afterwards. Instead, I found myself standing in front of a bookstore completely foreign to me. The only thing familiar that remained was the hand painted sign on the window that made me enter her shop for the first time. "Enter all who want to explore."
I entered the bookstore filled with dread that last night might be the last time I'll be able to see her. The entire place was silent and was now filled with second-hand books that ranged in genre. My fears were finally realized when I was greeted not by the woman that I loved but by a different man with a light stubble who was wiping the counter with a rag.
"Oh hi," he said to me first. "uh... we're still tidying up the place but we open in a few minutes so feel free to look around already, okay?"
At first, I didn't know what to do. Should I be angry at him? At her? At myself? At the capricious gods and goddesses that afflicted her with this irreversible curse? I stood there looking at his features. I asked him what happened to the knick-knack store that was here.
"What knick-knack store? This place has always been a bookstore for quite some time now." He crossed his arms, not in annoyance but in confusion.
"Since when did you first opened?" I asked him. He pondered for a while before he gave me the date of the opening of this bookstore that I haven't heard of before. It was the exact date a few months back when I first entered the shop. I left the bookstore without saying anything else and walked down the street for a while.
I tried calling her over and over again but every time I tried, it would only ring and immediately disconnect afterwards. Since the directions were still fresh on my mind, I raced back to her apartment building, in hopes that I can find her there and ask for an explanation. The middle aged landlady read a tabloid behind the counter of the lobby. I told her that I was visiting a friend of mine and asked if the occupant was there.
"What's the room number?" she asked without even looking at me. When I gave her the room number that I was looking for, she immediately stopped reading and finally looked at me with piercing eyes.
"What are you talking about, kid? Nobody's in that room for years."
"A-are you sure? I was here just last night." I gave her the alias used by Euterpe. "I was with her."
"Kid, I know everyone who lived in this building and believe me when I say I don't know anybody with that name here. Are you sure you're even in the right building?" Still not planning on giving up, I showed the landlady a picture of her on my phone. Casting the tabloid she had aside, she let out a disgruntled sigh and crossed her arms, not in confusion but in annoyance.
"Look, I don't know her. You really just probably got the wrong address..." I pocketed my phone in defeat. I didn't want to annoy her even further. I thanked her for her time but before I even walked out of the lobby, she called my attention.
"If you don't believe me, I'll let you see the room for yourself. I'll only let you do this once. Come with me." She grabbed the spare keys from the key rack beside her. I followed her as we climbed the winding flight of stairs.
She gave me the keys once we got to the apartment room that I was looking for. Inserting the keys, I opened the door to find a dark and empty one bedroom apartment that slowly accumulated dust. I walked inside and let my eyes wander around. The landlady turned on the lights that blinded me temporarily. Not a single trace of the Americana, posters, and road signs that were displayed on the walls were in sight. I entered the room and the only thing I saw was an empty single bed and an empty bookshelf. The decorative lights weren't there anymore and so were the vast collection of vinyl records she cherished. This apartment hasn't seen any life in a while, it would seem.
I thanked the landlady once more and told her I'm sorry for bothering her at this time. "It's alright, kid," she said. "Whoever you're looking for might not be really here."
"I guess you're right," I replied. We walked back to the lobby in silence. She returned to her tabloid and I walked back to the fast-paced world I knew. I looked at the picture I showed to the landlady, a picture of her in the middle of a laugh that I took a few days ago. What I found instead was a picture of the shop window devoid of her presence and of her almond shaped and colored eyes, as if my world was robbed of such beauty.
Just like how she immediately came into my life, she was gone.
It's been seven years and I still think about her after all this time. The only time I get to see her again is when she visits me in my dreams when I yearn for her presence. I would dream of her being behind the counter of her small shop and we would just talk about stuff and have a cup of coffee like nothing ever happened. I still wish I'd get to hold her tight. I dunno where or when that wish will be fulfilled but I'll be here patiently waiting for her return.
Listening to the cassette tape she gave me has never been the same.