Wandering on the streets at night
Feeling the longing that's so tight
The cold air reminds me of my untold love
That until now, makes some days and nights of my life tough
I feel frozen with the thought of being unwanted
The coldness unleashed by nature
And the parts of my heart that suffer from numbness
Both seems effortlessly blended
Lights are guiding my way through somewhere
But the darkness within heart's periphery
Immerse my soul into the feeling of being lost
How I wish I could find words of hopefulness to incite the heart itself to close
Only to protect it from the weight of emotions
Caused by careless thinking of memories
There's a loudness in silence that's hard to tame
They are my inner voices with a sense of pessimism
So, who should be the one to blame?
Of pouring every pain that almost turn me into heartless
Myself? No I cannot
Truth be told, people's frailty, numerous trials
Both are sometimes enough to harden a heart
Staring at the genuine smile of others
Is weakening the mind, heart and soul
Feeling a sense of pity for dealing with jealousy
Suspended tears make my vision blurry
At this moment, aren't they feigning like me?
I wonder if others doubt my smile I give in return
Foolish thought. They're too busy to care about what I'm going through
I wonder if among the strangers,
At least there's one who could notice the vestige of my brokenness
Written somewhere in my eyes
They are full of stories that remain latent
Unless someone is pensive enough to make the tears come out
Maybe, those I get to encounter could hardly discern
My fragmentary heart through my facade
Am I the only lonely soul that's sauntering tonight?
If not, I should ask fate to bring me the one who resembles the secrets of my soul
Is that too much to ask for?
I hope it's not. For a soul like mine, deserves to meet someone whom I could be engrossed with
As I walk, brightness from the street lights
Slowly fading from my sight
Then I realize, I'm heading to a place where all illumination are turn off
It is like a sudden nightmare, to be in a real state of solitude
I can hear nothing from where I stand still yet, sheer stillness is terrifying
This setting may be nothing extraordinary for many
But for me, who's carrying a burden of being unloved
By someone I admire for so long
And of hurtful past experiences
This is surprisingly a great deal of melancholy
I fall onto the ground while crying my weary heart out
I'm making the loudest cry of my existence
In the midst of revealing myself to the uncrowded milieu,
Part of me is hoping for desired answers
Is there anyone trying to find where the cry comes from?
Is there anyone trying to ask universe for braveness to slowly glide beneath his/her skin, and to be intertwined with his/her nerves?
So, he/she could start running towards the dwelling of audible cry
As if he's/she's chasing the idea of love that's cursed to be felt forever
If caught, one would be a happiest creature
And so, he/she could express right away the need to please his/her unexpected strong desire to delve into my secretive soul
As if he/she wants to be pleased by listening to his/her sentiments too
Is there anyone approaching?
Because I can't resist the distressing truth that I'm waiting
For anyone to somehow wake my asleep positivism within
To inspire me more to start the desired mending
Or
Would I witness another dawn by myself and face the day still feeling the wounds of heart bleeding?