To: The person who unconsciously broke my heart.
How are you?
For a long time, I didn't know what to say to you.
I always thought it would never happen, but I was wrong...
Slowly, I began falling for you. I did all the things I could do to prevent myself from falling in love with you, but I failed. Unfortunately, you weren't able to catch me because you were already holding someone else.I knew you loved someone else, and I knew that this feeling would give me nothing but pain.
I thought it was over. But look I'm still here tired of being so dumb about you. They say follow your heart, but this heart was shattered into a million pieces, so tell me which piece do I follow? With a single flash of your smile you can have me going back to zero, falling again eventhough I know that you won't care a little.
When I think about it, it felt like I was the moon, you were the earth, and she was the sun. I was endlessly circling around you but you were gravitating around her. It hurts, but I have to smile and pretend that I'm okay. That's the least thing that I can do. Well maybe I was brave. Brave enough to keep on doing this to myself. Maybe I'm selfless, because when it comes to you, I have the tendency of giving my all without any hesitations...
I don't have much possession of honesty and acceptance, because I can't accept the fact that I'm just a random person in your life when you are the world to me. I'm not smart, because I'm too dumb when it comes to you... Dumb enough that I can even try to change the reality if only I have the ability of doing it .
I have obsessions, I am always filled with hard desire, deep feelings. I'm obsessed with you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I say it three times in a row. I love you even though it hurts.
These three words, I'll just try to keep these, burry it under the soil, under the void of dishonesty. Don't worry about me, I'll be alright... I know I'll be. Someday. I wish you all the love in this world, a love that is greater the love that you didn't let me offer for you. My love, I love thee. I love your smile. I love every single detail of you, all your flawses and imperfections. I love you, and it will never be an I loved you.
Clearly, you are my first love, who I wasn't meant to spend forever with and I have to understand that, although it will take a lot of time to get over you. I'm too young, too clueless to understand just how hard love can be. In this lifetime ... Our interwined fates has to end right here.
So all these things that have been said, I just let all of it be blown by the wind, let the wind blows every letters of the alphabet I've whispered. The sad truth is I can't never lose you because I never had you. For the last time, I love you, always and forever and I know that you can't say that you love me too. So goodbye.
Sincerely Yours ,
The person who secretly loves you