When I first read about “Cognitive Misers”, I honestly did not find myself relating with that term too much but it’s now that I realise that humans are indeed cognitive misers to some extent. A socially anxious person like me has always dreaded the idea of small talks. I suck at small talks. And it’s sometimes so astonishing to find that even the most trivial of things about someone and something can trigger a whole massive thought process in me. I have read a lot about how there are some 60,000 thoughts running in your head all the time but for some reason, I victimise myself in calling myself a thinker, so to say. I think the problem is not in me being a rigorous thinker but with others being not. So that is exactly when I realised that a lot of people around me(excluding the people I’ve found in college) are cognitive fucking misers. Why don’t they think? Why don’t they fucking think? I mean I’d open up massively in front of you and all I’d hear is “That happens.” And when someone does the same to me, I can’t help going through this whole labyrinth of thoughts which sadly, is sometimes very torturing. One more thing that I have come to realise is that people do suck at listening in the first place. Because when they don’t listen, they don’t think and they save themselves the whole torture of over thinking. For a long time, I would think that over thinking is hurtful. It has brought me to the point of self-harm and I don’t know how others perceive it. I would see people around me in some settings and conclude that over thinking is actually very common. But I don’t understand why is something okay just because it’s common. I don’t understand why is sexual harassment okay just because it’s so common. I fail to grasp the logic behind it but okay, for a long time the thought was very reassuring.
It was only when I met people who don’t think too much that I realised over thinking is rather a boon than a bane. It was then it suddenly hit me that what’s so superficial for someone would rather be an in-depth serious sentimental issue for me even if it doesn’t concern me. So my whole point here is that if you today you come up to me and talk to me about your family, I will not leave things at that. I will not say “That happens.” just because it happens because if you shared something like that with me, I’m sure it carried some really deep meaning for you, no matter who small the thing is. If you are going to talk to me about a thing as simple as a pencil, I can assure you that I’ll contribute fruitfully to that conversation and wouldn’t make you or your pencil feel small just because it actually is small.