Sometimes, I ask myself how do I live with myself? I mean people go away. They always go away. Why didn't I ? This story may sound suicidal or depressed but I would be glad if you continue to read it. Maybe you can recognize yourself in it.
I have some childhood friends. I know them since I was 2. You know the thing when you know two people and make them friends. Well, they leave you to be friends "between them". And it always happen to me. Don't know why. Well it's happened with my childhood friends, like a lot. I was like the third wheel. Then I decide to grow up, tried to detach myself, by being friends with other people but kept in touch with some. And finally my childhood friends were like friends with these other people. They were not so friends but they knew each other. But then they left me behind again. And then, this year, I decide to try again, had a new squad and everything. Today is my birthday. Yay. These new friends didn't wished it to me. They were in the macdonald's. Oww, how cool. Am I not interesting or something ? Gladly, I have some friends that I know since I was 10. Cool. They're not all in my school. Well, its cool. I have them. I know that. They're like the greatest friends that someone can have. But I can't always see them. They're not always in my town. So I survive. But still wanna strangle someone. 'Cause I was waiting for this new "squad" to not be like the others. Not waiting but probably hoping. I mean you have being hypocrite all the year, you may could made an effort for it. I know i'm the kind of "sensitive" friend. But ok. Since that. I'm not going to be the same again. But then I say that, and I don't keep this promise to myself.
Some people are just meant to not be with you. But you're kind of masochist aren't you ? You like those people because they make you feel like you count whereas nothing happens. And you know it at 5 a.m. when you're all on your own in your bedroom trying to sleep. You just wanna get rid off of the voices in the night that tells you the truth. That you're all on your own. I don't have a good english so forgive me if I say something wrong. But I'm not asking for your pardon for what I say. In the end, we're all on our own. You just either used to it, or lie to yourself or you're kind of healed. If you are. Please give me your secret.
Sincerely.
Me.